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Not sure I can do this, whats wrong with me?

cazmilligan

Happiness in a shake!
S: 17st4lb C: 15st9lb G: 11st6lb Loss: 1st9lb(9.5%)
#1
I have just finished my first week, and feeling so low and down, I haven't had this "uphoria" that veryone keeps going on about, and my cravings (not hunger just cravings) for food haven't gone.
I feel the past week has been like a lifetime, and each day seems like an eternity.
I have gone from 17st 4oz to 16st 3oz but still feel like its not enough (I know that is ridiculious)
I am a self destructive person, who often looks for any excuse to sabotage my efforts at weight loss, so I know where these feelings are coming from.
I am I actually scared to loose the weight? Its the only rational I can come up with for the constant voice in my head that is screaming "eat, eat, eat"!!!!!!

On top of this, I picked my daughter up from nursery on Friday to be told that the "wedding" (they have been doing all about weddings all month and its my daughters individual planning, and the accumulation is a pretend wedding!) is on Thursday, which is when I am suppose to be meeting my cambridge woman (she doesn't live here and only comes through one day a week) I have to go to see and help out at the wedding as my daughter is the "bride" but I only have enough cambridge to last till Thursday.
I won't see her for another week if I don't go and won't have any shakes either, I have tried to phone her loads, but I know she is on holiday, that is why she gave me two weeks supply, I am panicing like mad and don't know what to do, do I come off for a week, (and keep my supply for the week after) or not?!!!! Aaaarrrgghhhh, then the voice in my head is screamming, "yes come off it eat, eat, eat"!!!
My main motivation for loosing the weight is a fertility appointment in September, but even that is not motivating me at the moment.
I have even been considering Atkins, cause at least you can eat on that, omg, I am one screwed up cookie!!!!!!!!
Can anyone offer advice/support, is anyone else self destuctive and weak like me, or worse keep sabotaging their weight loss?
 
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S: 16st13lb C: 14st6lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 33.6 Loss: 2st7lb(14.77%)
#2
Carol, Don't be hard on yourself. Perhaps text your cdc and see if you can move the appointment. You are doing so well don't sabotage yourself now as the first week is the hardest. Remember cravings are in your head and please don't give in to them now, it does get easier and think when you have finished your cd journey, the cravings might be different. I used to crave allsorts especially bread and wheat based products, 7 weeks in and I am craving protein!!! weird I know as I am usually not a big meat eater!!!! Cravings aren't linked to hunger as you should be firmly in ketosis.... they are emotional. Use this time to help you sort out why you eat and why you are the size you are! I started this diet at 16st11 2 years ago and I didn't sort out these issues..... its happening this time round though... stick with it and you will be a Christmas cracker!

Stick with it girl, and I know its not pc, but ebay might just pull you out of a hole, or perhaps your cdc can post you packs... I'm sure you'll come to some arrangement to stick with your journey.

I also have a big motivation....an operation and sometimes, I too think stuff it, but seeing those scales move up half a stone if I come off plan is what is keeping me motivated.

I hope I haven't been too harsh, but sometimes we need a kick up the bum to get back in the zone.... you have done well to do this for a week, and by posting here, you are inadvertently admitting you don't want to give up!.

STICK WITH IT GIRL and quieten those inner voices.

Mike's no willpower needed newsletters make for good reading just stick it in google!

Good Luck

Anne-Marie xx
 
S: 13st13lb G: 12st2lb
#3
Hi there, not everyone reacts to CD the same way - I don't think I have changed in energy levels much, despite other people saying they turned into cleaning fiends to burn off all of their excess energy. For inspiration, and to see how ebenficial this is if you stick it out, look at the gallery pages and Inspiration Slide show on the top bars of this page (the blue bars) There are some fantastic examples of losses there that really put it into context about why you are doing this. Also, check out Mike Scott's 'no Willpower required' blogs on this site:
No Willpower Required
He really knows how to silence the little demons that we think are sometimes speaking to us, including your 'eat,eat' ones.
As for the CDC problem, could you arrange for her to drop them with a neighbour perhaps (leave a note on your door if you don't get her before then)?
Hope you get sorted xx
 

sumayyah

please try again
S: 23st6lb C: 17st7lb G: 9st0lb BMI: 44.8 Loss: 5st13lb(25.3%)
#5
you say she comes thru your area once a week, is the school in the same area? could she come to the school and you nip out to collect your cambridge? for one week would you be able to go to her area for your cambridge?
 

Blingbabe

Back On Track!
S: 14st13lb C: 17st5lb G: 9st7lb BMI: 43 Loss: -2st6lb(-16.27%)
#6
Hi Carol

Sorry to hear you are feeling very 'up and down' at the momment. The posts back have all been very helpful, including Summayah's practical solution to multi-tasking your daughter's special day at nursery and seeing the CD counsellor - wish I'd thought of it! I am sure your CD counsellor could be flexible on this one occasion.
I felt 'out of sorts' for even longer than my first week - it really was the thrill of fast weight loss that spurred me on. Likewise, I didn't get that energy boost that people describe.
Now I have done 4 weeks and feel so much better; please try to stick out the rough patch as already you have has a fantastic weight loss. It hasn't all been plain sailing but I compare this diet to how I felt on something traditional (such as Weight Watchers, when I'd eaten all my points up and felt ravenous for the rest of the evening).
It really will get better, Good Luck!
 

Sunshine Singer

Dropped White Sugar & Feeling Fantastic
S: 13st2lb C: 11st10lb G: 9st11lb BMI: 31 Loss: 1st6lb(10.87%)
#7
Awwwwww good luck hun. So many here are going through the same thing so just stay on the forum and distract yourself.

Big hugs. You CAN do this x
 

LizzMB

WILL be Slim!
S: 14st0lb C: 13st7lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st7lb(3.57%)
#9
caz honey, what is more important? Giving in to those cravings or losing the weight????????? You already know the answer!

15lbs off in week 1 is AMAZING....and although you might not feel that euphoria right now this second, it will come....and so what if it doesnt....this diet is hard work...i've had euphoria for 19 weeks and now the miserable me has kicked in....surely i should be well into the swing of things by now but all i can think about is food! Everything i do and think about is related to food....but thinking about it, and ACTING upon it are 2 totally different things!

If you have the strength, grit and determination to get through your first week, then you have what it takes to get to your 15th! Terry will be so proud of you when he see's you next hun! but getting to goal is VERY important, for ALL of you!!!!!

You are better than those cravings hun! And i've said before, if your struggling....TEXT ME and i will remind you exactly WHY your doing this to give you a e-slap! lol

Big hugs hun....xxxxx
Have offered lots of resolutions
 

Chlo

Silver Member
S: 16st4lb C: 15st5lb G: 9st6lb BMI: 40.6 Loss: 0st13lb(5.7%)
#10
Its a big step going straight to SS, if you are not getting to grips with the cravings have you thought about starting higher up the plan, eg. 810 or SS+ and gradually working down. You will be ok with SS eventually, but if you are really struggling, this could be the way to go, and weight losses are as good on these plans.
 

parisbeach

Silver Member
S: 21st0.6lb C: 18st10.5lb G: 15st0lb BMI: 42.4 Loss: 2st4.1lb(10.9%)
#12
you have made a wonderful start, I agree with everyone else you can do it.
 

cazmilligan

Happiness in a shake!
S: 17st4lb C: 15st9lb G: 11st6lb Loss: 1st9lb(9.5%)
#13
Thank so much ladies, and expecially to Lizz, who managed to get me through yesterday without going off the rails!
I feel more possitive today, maybe cause the sun is shining or maybe cause I actually got through the worst day ever yesterday!
I am going to try, try, try and keep this going xxx
 

LizzMB

WILL be Slim!
S: 14st0lb C: 13st7lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 30.5 Loss: 0st7lb(3.57%)
#14
the achievement of getting through those horrible days will put a smile on your face for days!!! WIthout the bad days, you will never know the good!
I told Simon last night that i had eaten a bowl of Apple Crumble....he went SILENT and then tried to make me feel better about myself...until i growled at him that he should never doubt my dedication to this diet ever again! lol! today is a fresh day, kick those cravings to the kerb hun! Mind over matter = if it dont matter, then dont mind!!!
Keep plodding and think of those size 12 skinny jeans! ;):D

xxx
 


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