nzmegs
Silver Member
I don't mean to pile it on thick, but this really is my last chance to lose the weight and keep it off. My weight has been causing me problems for more than ten years and finally I have decided that being 2 or 3 stone overweight just isn't OK any more.
You know how it is easy to say to yourself " I am all right. I am smaller than her or fitter than him" but really you are kidding yourself. I have been doing that for years. I thought that being able to run three miles meant that I was perfectly OK.
it wasn't OK. In the back of my mind and at regular intervals throughout my adult life I have wanted to lose this stubborn weight. But all of my efforts failed.
I studied nutrition, I wrote articles about it and I thought I had all the answers. Turned out I didn't. Turns out that being 3 stone overweight is unhealthy and that getting older has meant that I can't avoid it any longer.
You would have thought that having my gall bladder out would have been a wake up call.
My "issues" are that I feel as though I will fail with my weight loss, so I purposely sabotage myself before anyone starts to notice that I have lost weight.
I imagine how awful it would be to lose plenty weight, feel great and then start putting it back on. People would see me as a failure and I would feel like a failure. I have watched others go through the exact same thing.
So right at the moment when I could make the decision to stick with my diet and see it through to the end - I stop, I eat and I put it back on. You can't fail at what you never really started.
The worst thing is that I start with the best intentions (like now, in fact) and it all goes out the window. that's the barrier I have to get over.
So tomorrow it starts. A week or so of Exante followed by LL when I get approval. Meeting with the LLC on Saturday to discuss when I can get going.
I am still scared of failure. But if I fail it won't be because i didn't try. Because this time i am trying harder than ever.
You know how it is easy to say to yourself " I am all right. I am smaller than her or fitter than him" but really you are kidding yourself. I have been doing that for years. I thought that being able to run three miles meant that I was perfectly OK.
it wasn't OK. In the back of my mind and at regular intervals throughout my adult life I have wanted to lose this stubborn weight. But all of my efforts failed.
I studied nutrition, I wrote articles about it and I thought I had all the answers. Turned out I didn't. Turns out that being 3 stone overweight is unhealthy and that getting older has meant that I can't avoid it any longer.
You would have thought that having my gall bladder out would have been a wake up call.
My "issues" are that I feel as though I will fail with my weight loss, so I purposely sabotage myself before anyone starts to notice that I have lost weight.
I imagine how awful it would be to lose plenty weight, feel great and then start putting it back on. People would see me as a failure and I would feel like a failure. I have watched others go through the exact same thing.
So right at the moment when I could make the decision to stick with my diet and see it through to the end - I stop, I eat and I put it back on. You can't fail at what you never really started.
The worst thing is that I start with the best intentions (like now, in fact) and it all goes out the window. that's the barrier I have to get over.
So tomorrow it starts. A week or so of Exante followed by LL when I get approval. Meeting with the LLC on Saturday to discuss when I can get going.
I am still scared of failure. But if I fail it won't be because i didn't try. Because this time i am trying harder than ever.