I'm sending BIG HUGS i had to make that decision about my gorgeous girl 2 years ago and it was the hardest to make...she was 7 and suffering kidney failure. I held her in my arms as the vet sent her into a deep sleep...Millie was a golden retreiver so we decided to have her cremated, I felt lost tho not bringing her home, I was relieved when her ashes were finally home. We scattered them in her absolute favourite place where she loved to chase squirrals, altho it took me almost another year to let go of them. I still absolutely miss her but often think of her funny ways which make me smile. I still sense her around sometimes.
Lots of love to you xxx