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Returning Member Saying Helloooooo!!!

LilyKat

Member
Hellooooo everyone! :classic_smile:

I'm Gill and originally signed up waaaay back in 2014 (where HAS the time gone?). Since then I've fell into even worse eating habits and depression is making me comfort eat (funny how you never comfort eat salads!) but I've decided today that enough is enough! I used to be such a happy bouncy person with tons of energy and I want that girl back! This past month has been particularly hard as I've just had no get-up-and-go and I've found myself slipping into a lethargy, bouts of crying over how sh!t my life has become and I've just lost interest in all the things I used to love. I went to see my doctor last week and explained all this and we had a lovely chat (with much tearfulness on my part) and she's put me back onto fluoxetine which we know works for me (I last had a spell on it when I was suffering from PTSD in 2009 after losing my dog Tina in a drowning accident and blaming myself) and I've told her I'm going to focus on the other MAIN issue which I know is making me feel so low - my weight!

For years and years I was 8st (I'm 5ft 5in tall) but this WAS in my 20's when I walked everywhere and had two dogs. When I met my husband Neil in 1997 I was 10st and when I look at photos of me then I could just cry....I had cheekbones...I had KNEES!!!!! So I want to get back to that weight and then review things and if I look ok I'll stop there - I just don't want to look ill by getting too gaunt! I'm aiming for around my 52nd birthday in March next year as a goal.

I was recently forced out of a job by a bullying boss (I was getting crippling headaches, constant stomach upsets, couldn't sleep properly and would literally SHAKE with fear when he came into the shop!) so Neil has told me to take a few months off (we can manage on just his wage) and relax, do the things I love and only get a job once I feel more like myself :) So, over the past couple of months I have decluttered the flat, done some decorating and am now going to concentrate on ME ;) I'm currently 17st 10lb and HATE my stomach and fat bum. I also hate the way I am so breathless and sweaty on even short walks (the town I live in is very hilly so I sweat a lot! o_O ) and how much my knees and ankles hurt from carrying so much weight. So, starting from tomorrow ~ Friday 19th July ~ I'm going to start eating healthily and getting myself out for walks every day. At the beginning of the year I signed up for the Country Walking magazines Walk 1000 Miles Challenge and *ohdear* I'm only currently on 241 miles :eek: I need to walk just over 4 miles per day to reach my goal by December 31st so I'm jolly well determined to make it part of my exercise regime each day!

I'm actually ALREADY feeling more motivated just by rejoining this group and writing this down! :classic_big_grin: For the first time in months I've actually feeling EXCITED about doing this and feel that I CAN do it!!!!! :classic_cool:

This pic is one Neil took two nights ago when we were out walking in the evening. I didn't realise he'd taken it and just felt sick when I saw it :classic_frown: Feel so guilty for just letting myself get so fat and out of condition. I know I've been extremely lucky to have reached 51 and not had any ill effects like diabetes etc so it's definitely time to sort myself out and get myself back to Fit & Healthy Gill!
 
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TRISTAR

Gold Member
Hi, welcome back. Yes I think you're right, even just writing things on here, whether it's about weight, the PTSD, and how your boss has made you feel ( I have been there too, consumed with fear, and was anxious going to work each day), just letting it out on here, can put a few things into perspective, and put that fire back in your belly. Hope you achieve the loss you are looking for. Claire. ps I hate salad, and won't eat raw veg :whistle:
 

AliGal

Eating Like A Bear
Looking forward to reading all about your journey, Gill
 

bog willow

Full Member
Hi, Gill. I can relate so much to your post, and found myself thinking "me too" several times as I read. I'm just new and finding my way around. I'm glad you're here :)
 
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