O/T No good deed goes unpunished

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by Sticky, 22 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

    Posts:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    88
    Start Weight:
    13st3lb
    Current Weight:
    12st8.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8.5lb(4.59%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    And never had a saying been more true for me.

    In doing something for someone at work, I seem to have scr*wed myself over.

    Just received some really bad news at work and feeling like I'm gonna throw up.

    I know I should be grateful that I have a job in this climate, so guilt is adding to the sick feeling.

    But all my hard work and hope for a change was for nothing.

    Sorry - just needed to vent here before I yell at someone at work and make things worse :-(

    *gutted*
     
  2. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Matched Content

  3. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

    Posts:
    10,819
    Likes Received:
    380
    Oh hun, not sure what's happened here but it's clear that you are upset so (((hugs))) to you babe. xxx
     
  4. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

    Posts:
    7,607
    Likes Received:
    281
    Start Weight:
    21st7lb
    Current Weight:
    12st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    9st2lb(42.52%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Oh you poor thing...I hope that you are ok??
     
  5. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

    Posts:
    8,369
    Likes Received:
    156
    Start Weight:
    22st0lb
    Current Weight:
    19st7lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7lb(11.36%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World - Green Days only.
    Thinking of you Sticky, I hope you are alright, hugs ))))))))))hugs(((((((( for you. X
     
  6. henna!

    henna! I can do this............

    Posts:
    1,031
    Likes Received:
    40
    Start Weight:
    14st3lb
    Current Weight:
    11st11lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st13lb
    Lost(%):
    2st6lb(17.09%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    Hope you are ok miss and things arent to bad x
     
  7. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

    Posts:
    900
    Likes Received:
    26
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Very cryptic.

    Hope you're ok x
     
  8. amythyst5961

    amythyst5961 Silver Member

    Posts:
    595
    Likes Received:
    12
    Start Weight:
    18st8lb
    Current Weight:
    14st5.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    12st7lb
    Lost(%):
    4st2.5lb(22.5%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hope you are okay chick! xxx
     
  9. bettylollypop

    bettylollypop soon to be skinny minnie

    Posts:
    2,402
    Likes Received:
    83
    Start Weight:
    16st8lb
    Current Weight:
    16st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    11st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st7lb(3.02%)
    Diet:
    weight watchers
    Hi hun, hope you are ok, what happened? If you feel as though you want to share maybe we can help you , then again if you don't want to then we are still here xxx
     
  10. charlottegrace1

    charlottegrace1 Gold Member

    Posts:
    2,484
    Likes Received:
    92
    Goal Weight:
    10st10lb
    Diet:
    SW
    What ever has happened I hope you are ok and am thinking of you. :confused:
     
  11. jessabelle

    jessabelle needs more willpower!

    Posts:
    352
    Likes Received:
    3
    Start Weight:
    10st5lb
    Current Weight:
    10st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st4lb(2.76%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hope you're okay xx
     
  12. HellieCopter

    HellieCopter Gold Member

    Posts:
    3,770
    Likes Received:
    219
    Start Weight:
    13st2.5lb
    Current Weight:
    10st9lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st10lb
    Lost(%):
    2st7.5lb(19.24%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Oh heck!!! If you want to share, we are here. Vent, rant, cry, whatever *hugs*

    That sicky feeling in the pit of your stomach is bl00dy awful...I feel for you x x x
     
  13. Madferret

    Madferret Mad as a Hatter

    Posts:
    5,887
    Likes Received:
    149
    Start Weight:
    12st10lb
    Current Weight:
    12st10lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    Dukan
    problem shared is a problem halved - maybe just writing about will make you feel better - omit names if that makes it better for you...

    I had an issue on Thursday which has caused me to rethink my whole take on things and soon I will feel able to talk about it on here...

    We are all here to help mate !

    Take Care

    Tracy
     
  14. salsaqueen

    salsaqueen Full Member

    Posts:
    491
    Likes Received:
    17
    Start Weight:
    14st8lb
    Goal Weight:
    8st12lb
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Hope your okay. It will all come out in the wash as my mum likes to say. xx
     
  15. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

    Posts:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    88
    Start Weight:
    13st3lb
    Current Weight:
    12st8.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8.5lb(4.59%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    Well, at home now and calmed down a little from earlier.

    This might go on a bit, but it's a long story.

    I've been unhappy at work for over a year now - not because of my job, but because of someone in the team [now referred to as X]. It all started when someone else told me that X had been spreading rumours behind my back and not to trust X anymore. I'm not one to take hear-say as truth, but given this person had nothing to gain from telling me (quite the opposite), I took it on board but as I don't like confrontation I didn't persue for any info or ask anything of anyone else (hate office gossips so don't act like one). Anyway, worried I'd upset X without meaning to, I was more careful so I didn't upset X any further (as is me, sometimes a total doormat).

    Anyway, a few months on I over heard a conversation and found out the hard way what X's issue was. Basically X has a problem with me cause I am a lot younger and was earning the same as X was, in a short amount of time.

    I started just before I turned 24 and in 3 months had been made permanant which meant I got a mortgage granted and bought myself my first place. I was really happy and counted my blessings that I'd been given the chance and taken on so I could buy my place.

    I found out that X was slinging mud, saying I was above my station, sh*t at my job and that I thought I was 'it' for buying a place in the town I did (which apparently is 'posh' - but I hadn't been aware that this was the way some locals viewed it - and even if I had - so f**king what?!?! It's my life - it had NOTHING to do with work and X only knew because at the time I couldn't drive and so, X offered to pick me up for work one day when my car school wasn't available.

    I was really upset and started to believe what he said - I was rubbish. But, I was given a promotion (and pay rise) soon after so figured 'well, if I was poo I wouldn't have gotten that surely'. Thing is X seemed more hacked off and it just felt really bad at work for ages.

    A few months ago we expanded the team a lot, so X was promoted to line manager of me and a number of others (leave, time sheets and the like). I wasn't impressed as had control over a lot of stuff I didn't want to know, especially as we were in middle of buying our shared home. X also started trying to stop an application to do my masters degree, saying I wasn't ready (I'm one of the few with a degree in first place, and X booked themself onto it grrr).

    Our boss left though and the new boss spotted right away there was tension and called me in after someone else had 'fessed that X was a bit of a sh*t. So, I was honest. Thing was, by this point X has found a new target - a new member of the team much like me but male. Anyway, weirdly, if was how X treated this new person that made me speak up and I told the new boss that though I hadn't been happy in the past, it was worse for the new person. But I stupidly admitted it had made me want to leave.

    Anyway since I was approached for a role elsewhere in the company - a role I would have taken anyway cause it's a brill opportunity and will eventually lead to me jumping two full grades up on the ladder. I met with them and it was off that they're advertising the role (but if they interview someone better I obviously won't get it, but I know I've got a pretty good shot).

    But it'll be advertised at my current level. Nicely (I think) I pre-warned my boss that I was applying for it so that they knew I was looking and might want to transfer. I was told that as it's a sideways move they won't let me because they don't want to lose me. They can do this - they can justify easily that I am needed and wanted and as it'll be out the area, higher levels can stop it too. Sh*t I know - I knew they could but I thought they wouldn't - knowing how I'd felt. Then comes the killer blow - they'd pulled X in as a lot of the team felt the same as I did. I don't know the details, but I found out X has put in for a move too and as it's a step up they can't stop X anyway. So any chance of talking them round is dead - 1; they won't want to lose 2 people so fast anyway and 2; it takes my bargaining chip of forcing them stating that I don't trust my line manager (messy and not what I'd probably do anyway as it's a bridge burner and I'm not that stupid).

    I think they thought I'd be happy at the thought, but I'm fuming. It's not X making me want this role - it's for my career. Yes not working with X would be ace, but this new opportunity would add to my skill set. Plus lead to more money (yay).

    Worse yet...if X gets this job, it's a huge payrise whilst I'm stuck. It's so unfair. My boss said that they'd work on getting me a promotion in time as the team grew, but I won't take it simply as once I hit the next level, it'll be even harder to leave than it is now as it's classed as management.

    X is good don't get me wrong - but not as a person manager or co-worker as a person. Him getting further isn't a problem at all. X has 25 years experience and I have 2 and 1/2 so being where I am is good (thought clearly want to advance). It's the fact X being a bully could lead X to advance and leave others stuck in X's wake. And apparently (but not sure) X was promoted in the team by first boss when X threatened to leave if X didn't get promoted over me and another person.

    Anyway, I'm really hacked off. I earn £10k more than OH atm, so we cannot contemplate losing my salary by moving to a different company, and it's unlikely to match my salary out of this company (biggest employer in the area). We have 2 mortgages (thanks to a failed sale on my place) and a car that's nearly dead. And all our savings are 'nest egg' for emergencies, or money for our wedding from OH's folks, so can't touch it yet.

    So I'm stuck until we sell the flat and lessen the mortgage and get other stuff sorted and done with, like a car and finishing off my student loan.

    Jobs in what I do don't come up often either, so I reckon a couple more years. And if X doesn't get the job I'm stuck with X still - and I can't risk forcing hand using X as reason cause we won't know until after closing date (and if it goes wrong it's doubly poo for me).

    Gah!

    So stressed. The only chance is if the other dept are able to blag it to a promotion, but given we're making cut backs (we lost a massive chunk of our annual budget) I doubt it highly.

    Sorry for the long whine - it's not easy to explain without going so far back and detailed.

    Meh.

    Thanks everyone for replies and PMs today - made it easier xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
    Last edited: 22 July 2009
  16. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

    Posts:
    5,247
    Likes Received:
    182
    Start Weight:
    14st5lb
    Diet:
    WW
    Oh Hun! I feel for you! Sends luv and hugs xxx
     
  17. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

    Posts:
    32,826
    Likes Received:
    1,137
    Diet:
    WW
    Hope you feel a bit better now.

    Friction at work is so upsetting

    Irene xx
     
  18. Avatar

    MiniMins.com Advert

  19. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

    Posts:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    88
    Start Weight:
    13st3lb
    Current Weight:
    12st8.5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st8.5lb(4.59%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    P.S sorry for moaning given I'm lucky to have a job and stuff :-(
     
  20. JestersTear

    JestersTear Cute, but psycho!

    Posts:
    900
    Likes Received:
    26
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    I was bullied at work in my first job which eventually ended up with ME getting fired :-(

    Hope you're ok and thing work out for the best for you x
     
  21. dagbird2001

    dagbird2001 Full Member

    Posts:
    248
    Likes Received:
    2
    Start Weight:
    27st1lb
    Current Weight:
    27st1lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st0lb(0%)
    Diet:
    slimming world
    sending you big hugs hun xxx
     
  22. aliflower

    aliflower Full Member

    Posts:
    189
    Likes Received:
    4
    Start Weight:
    14st6lb
    Current Weight:
    14st5lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st0lb
    Lost(%):
    0st1lb(0.5%)
    Diet:
    Slimming World
    What rotten *£&$^!(£!! Really rubbish Sticky, I do feel for you. Try not to worry about it too much you never know what will happen. Just hope it doesn't drag on too long for you x
     
Popular Forums
  1. MiniMins.com is a weight loss support community helping each other on their weight loss journey. We have a multitude of forums, from Slimming World and Exante, to Success Stories. Click the logo at the top right to return to the forum home page at any time.
Loading...