O/T Think before you speak....

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by tara40, 7 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    Think before you Speak!!

    Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak, the last one is great!
    Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

    FIRST TESTIMONY:
    I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

    SECOND TESTIMONY:
    I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with men's balls'

    THIRD TESTIMONY:
    My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

    FOURTH TESTIMONY:
    While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

    FIFTH TESTIMONY:
    Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No'. I kept thinking, 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

    LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, TESTIMONY:
    This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh and remember, we all say things we don't really mean, so think before you speak!!!!!
     
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  3. Muffindoll

    Muffindoll Full Member

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    :rotflmao: These are so funny
    Thanks I needed cheering up! x:D
     
  4. metrognome

    metrognome is getting better at it

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    love it
     
  5. Mrs V

    Mrs V Loves Life!

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    These are great!
     
  6. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    Thanks so much Tara, best laugh I've had in ages!!
     
  7. Sticky

    Sticky I will succeed!!!

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    Superb - I needed that after the day I've had at work!!

    Brill xxx
     
  8. Donnie46

    Donnie46 Slow but sure....

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    LOL.....thanks for sharing. X
     
  9. Tab

    Tab Full Member

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    Hehehehe
    Those are great
     
  10. b_n_3003

    b_n_3003 Silver Member

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    brill :-D
     
  11. ConfusedGirl

    ConfusedGirl Full Member

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    Hehe thanks i really needed a laugh! :D
     
  12. mini-mummy

    mini-mummy Full Member

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    lol, funny!
     
  13. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    Thanks for posting this - it gave me a laugh!!

    Kind of reminds me of a situation that still makes me cringe, though. A few years back I was walking down the street, minding my own business, hurrying along to a dentist's appointment. A couple were walking towards me, and the man stopped me and said 'excuse me, do you think my wife is fat?' It was just one of those moments where you're so taken aback by the question that you don't even stop to consider your answer properly. I said yes! It just came out! He looked a bit ruffled, and the two of them went on their way. I feel awful about that because in hindsight I think they must have been having one of those old 'do you think I look fat?' discussions, and he was probably at the end of his tether and said 'hey, we'll ask the next person we see!'

    One of those times when you wish you had a time machine!
     
  14. mini-mummy

    mini-mummy Full Member

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    Oh no! I asked someone I knew if they were pregnant. Instead of asking 'how are you?' or 'what's new?' and slyly getting around it, I came straight out with 'are you pregnant?'. Of course, she wasn't, and I felt terrible.
     
  15. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    I offered my seat to a lady on the train once as i thought that she was pregnant. She said "no thanks" and then my mate was laughing and said to me that she was just big, not pregnant.
     
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