O/T why?

[Nessa]

why is it that when you are big (size 26) mates that are blokes only want to be mates, y'know oh yeah she is good for a laugh kind of thing and then you lose weight an become thin, (size 12) they want to be more than mates, and then when you say no thanks, can we just be mates the say well either we take our friendship further or we end the friendship?

i have had this done recently by a couple of bloke mates, well i thought they were mates and now i have lost them altogether! i feel hurt and i am finding it hard to get over losing their friendship. why am i feeling like this, i seem to be low and depressed all the time, even though i have now reached a size 12

 

[hanloje]

Men.... = shallow ? maybe. No that's harsh but maybe they're just more attracted to you or maybe it's just a co-incidence. Sorry you've lost friends over this, but I think you'll find people who lose a vast amount of weight it's quite common to really find out who your true friends are??!

 

[MiniMe*Escaping]

B'cos you thought of them as your friends, horrible little swines! dry your eyes and shake yourself down, you can do better than C/pigs like that! Seriously you are hurting cos you put your all into a friendship and they were shallow, to think you was just the big girl there for a laugh, i know i have one female friend, who not interested in that, but she was happy to hang around with lil miss fat girl, and then now she has heard this diet is helping me lose weight she has gone all funny and not talking to me, it hurt all day on Saturday, but i can make new friends, real ones that care about me, just like you can sweetheart! xxx

 

[bridie]

i have that... i have one friend who has been FANTASTIC and helped me all though it telling me how good im being and not letting me cheat. but lots of them have gone all off with me.... dont worry hun you certainly find out who your real friends are!!!!!! your worth more than those pr**ks and soon they wil realise that and want your friendship agin im sure.
dont let it affect you hun im sure alot of this kind of thing is over jelousy and shock at how good you now look
keep it up
xxxx

 

[jabbathehut]

I too had this, years ago now though.
I lost a lot of weight quickly, literally stopped eating, stupid thing to do, but I was 20 and desperate to enjoy the life that all of my female friends were living.
All of a sudden, I had guys who I had known for years approaching me and showing interest, but I turned them all down flat and told them all that if they didn't like me fat they wouldn't get the chance to have me thin. It hurt at the time, but I would have hated myself if I had given in to it and been let down by them eventually.
As it happened, not long afterwards, I met my lovely hubby who has stuck by me fat and thin and never once uttered an unkind word about my weight/shape/size, who loves me unconditionally. That will be you soon, you never knwo what's round the corner, so stick to your morals and you'll find that when you least expect it, something will happen, just like it did for me

 

[oneday]

I agree with the others that if they don't want to be friends now then they aren't really worth bothering with.

Remember - You are worth more than that.

Debbs

 

[Hedgehog]

Firstly well done on the fabulous weight loss.

Good for you not falling for either of them, they just showed how shallow they were, and then couldnt take your rejection so put the ultimatum to you.

You will make new friends, I know it seems hard now, but they were not your friends you are worth more than that.