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Oh fgs

rolo

Full Member
#1
I'm having my kitchen done this week and it's been a bloody nightmare. I've managed to be good every day, despite not being able to get in the kitchen very much but it's all just gone pear shaped. This morning the water had to be turned off so the sink could be done and my bathroom is at the end of the house through the kitchen so I've been crossing my legs all morning.

On top of that my dad died 2 years ago today so it's not a good day for me. On the way to the cemetery I stopped off for a sandwich as I couldn't get in the kitchen. I thought I'd made a good choice with a sainsburys be good to yourself tuna and cucumber one 14 bloody syns!! Even if I take the bread as my healthy extra thats still 8 syns.

Debating whether to have a beer tonight (the lower cal and carb version) but I'll probably have all 4 and it's weigh in tomorrow but I think I deserve it after getting through the day with only a few tears at the cemetery. Never gets any easier and sometimes I still feel as shocked as I did on this day 2 years ago. He died of a massive heart attack at the age of 54 and I'd only been in the pub with him 2 hours before!

Roz x
 
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#2
Go and have a beer, you deserve it hun cause its been a hard day.
xxx
 
#3
Ohhh Roz,
Big hugs, not that it makes it any better though. Go and have that beer girl and remember him with a smile. You're made of strong stuff and he'll be really proud of you.
My Mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2005, she's still very much live and kicking but even this morning I woke up from a nightmare thinking the cancer had come back again.
L xxx
 
#4
GO HAVE YOUR BEER !

This is only 1 day, 1 sad day for you so you just need to do what you need to do. Beating yourself up about a few errant syns and a couple of extra beers isnt worth it.

So be good to yourself today and tomorrow you can start with a clear head (or not if you do decide to have 1 too many beers hehe! ) but you know what I mean.

Take care x
 
#5
What a day, honey, I would seriously have the beer, wake up tomorrow a new day, and start fresh. Don't beat yourself up about it either!!!! You really have been much better than I would have been!!

xxx
 

rolo

Full Member
#8
Thanks everyone, i will have the beer. I've been on the verge of tears all day and I do deserve it. I'll get my memeory box out later and have a read through all the emails his work sent and the cards and remember that him with a smile on his face the last time I saw him alive and his crap sense of humour and all the jokes he told me. Better phone my brother too as it's just me and him to remember him now.

Roz x

Roz x
 
#9
My beloved mum died Sept '06 - she was diagnosed with that bloody 'c' word in the May and was gone just 4 months later - I still can't believe it and I do know how you feel - some days are very raw aren't they? She was also me mate - I agree with what people have said on this thread, that you do need a day off now and again, as good as this SW optmising is - a day when u don't have to count syns when u fancy a beer, a day when u can help y'self to a bikky - and whatever you damn well want - yes, be good, do this diet and keep on track but one ... ONE day of respite won't harm a lifestyle change .... let me now how you get on 2nite xxxx
 
#10
Thanks Smig, I've opened the beer and have a pizza in the oven as i type. Oh well I have been very good all week and as everyone said it's only one day. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. In some ways it's easier knowing that dad went happy without knowing a thing. Here one minute and gone the next. It was such a severe heart attack he just collapsed and went into cardiac arrest so i comfort myself knowing he went without pain. He was leading the st georges day parade as he was a boys brigade leader and I should have been there as my son was in the beavers. He got cold feet at the last minute and I'm so glad I wasn't there. I know thats a funny thing to say because I never said good bye but i was hysterical when i got the phone call and it was bad enough the kids seeing that.

I hope you have many happy memories of your mum as I do of dad. I try not to dwell on this day too much but I can't help running through that phonecall in my mind.

Roz x
 

Nanny Jax

getting back on track
#11
Awwwwwwww Roz I am :cry:my mum was 42 when she suddenly passed over, and i know exactly how you are feeling today so:hug99:Thats from me to you, even though you got me crying! Enjoy the pizza:eat::party0016: and beer, you should of seen me last night, one vodka too many, wobbly legs and everything!! just back from weigh in and still managed 0.5 loss this time last month i gained a pound cos it's * week and i had been good then! lol
 
#12
Hiya you have a few beers girl you deserve it,i lost my dad in june last year,a wk after my 30th,most days im ok with it but others are bloody awful,i nipped up to the church yard yesterday as i was feeling great and i have to pick my moments when i go as some days i cant cope with it,and oh what a mistake i broke my heart ,it was the 1st time id seen the head stone as its just gone on,anyway i came home and ate a big bag of spars cheepy onion rings and a bar of choc,so go for it hun and have a beer 4 me 2,luv kat
 
#13
It's so sad, so many people have lost loved ones and have sad stories to tell. It gets easier as time goes on, but you never forget the pain and sadness you felt when they passed on. You have to remember the good times and treasure your memories. Memories are with you for life.

I lost my mum when I was 15 on new years eve from cancer, she'd been fighting it for 5 years and tried to hide it from her children. I lost my dad just over 3 years ago - almost 19 years to the day that I lost my mum. He died the day after boxing day after being diagnosed with cancer 3 weeks earlier. Strangely enough my eldest brother (he lives in Singapore) was on holiday in Phuket when we found out dad only had days to live and he had to come home. Had our dad not been dying my brother would have been on the beach in Phuket when the tsunami struck on 26 December 2004. I find it really strange knowing that if circumstances had been different we may have lost my brother instead.

Anyway, the best thing to do is to have a drink or two in your dad's memory and remember all the good times you had together.

Tomorrow's another day and you can start food optimising again tomorrow. Use your flexible syns today and don't even give the diet another thought!

Thinking of you. Take care and chin up.

Big hugs
Annette x

PS hope your kitchen nightmare is soon over - I'm sure it'll be well worth it when it's finished!
 
#14
I'm really sorry to hear about your day Roz. I hope you enjoyed your beer and pizza and the weigh in today isn't too bad.

I lost my mum to a massive heart attack a few years ago and still get upset thinking about it every year, especially as all her friends are still going strong, but with the help of your brother and good friends you can get through it. And one day of going off plan isn't the end of the world. I think you deserved it.:)
 
#15
:grouphugg::flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers: :flowers::grouphugg:

Roz, hunny have some :vibes: to make ya feel better.
only now i seen your post
Im sorry to hear about your loss and if it was me i would have bought a pizza, chocolate, ice cream beer and a 20 fags!

Your dad is probably looking over and laughing when he seen you were busting for a wee!
Dont beat yourself up over it, anyone deserved to have a mini blowout hun it would have been you.
Just start a fresh the next day.
Hope your ok today sweety and im sorry i didnt see the post before otherwise i would have replied sooner.

Chin up hun.:party0016:

Ruthyxxx:D
 
#16
Hope you got yesterday over ok and your feeling a bit better today. Each day at a time eh?
 
#17
Thanks everyone. I'm ok today and the landlord has gone on holiday now so he will be doing the rest of the kitchen when he gets back. Thank god everywhere is not covered in sawdust, tools etc and I can go for a wee when i want LOL. Ruthy I must have got through loads of fags yesterday. I gave up last year and put on 2 stone but this time I want to get into food optimising so it becomes second nature and then tackle the fags.

Roz x