The answer to "why do I have to do everything?" is that in fact you don't. Decide what is important to you, and do those things. Explain - once - that you are going to leave the other things to him. These should be the things which will, if not done, affect him more than you. Then, when he doesn't do them, you don't sigh deeply and do them anyway. Just leave them.
And yes, I do know that this is all far easier said than done. But if you can manage to hold your nerve, it does work. Believe me!
A friend of mine got so fed up with coming home and cooking dinner for her husband who then had to be called and nagged to come and eat it because he was so busy on his computer.
One day she had enough - she got home, cooked and ate her own dinner, left a note and went out again. He was so shocked! And it worked. She still does it from time to time, just to reinforce the message.
What is needed is a bit of lateral thinking combined with a lot of sneakiness. We can do this - we're women!!!!!