OK, I am going to start my diary!!

[tootsie]

Now I have managed to navigate myself around this forum, takes a while I am a technaphobe, I am going to start my diary. I want to be able to look back in 100 days time and see how I felt.

This is my 3rd day on LL and have just been to my first stop in, i have lost 6lbs how is that possible in two days????

As you can imagine I am over the moon!!

The last two days have been fine, bit cold and have a headache today but will be taking the dog for a walk in a bit (in the rain) to brush the cobwebs away.

My life up until now has revolved around socialising. My typical Saturday would be to get up around 10/11 feeling a big groggy from the bottle of wine the night before, do a few chores then go to the village club with my husband. He would then go off to play football and I would sit in the club all afternoon with the girls and drink more wine!!
I am a bit lost this morning as I got up early (no hangover) went to the weigh in (well chuffed), just cleared out daughters wardrobe and drawers, did all house work yeaterday so don't know what to do with myself. Anyone got any ideas on how I can entertain myself and my daughter??

I am not feeling down or anything, I actually feel great but just don't know what to do with myself.

For recapping purposes, I don't like the shakes but really enjoy all the soups with copious amounts of tobasco!

Anyway, enough of my ramblings, hope everyone else is O.K.
Tootsie xx

 

[Isobel1965]

Great start to your diary, Toots!

I found it invaluable to write mine when I started this crazy lark - it'll keep you going when things get hard! lol

Look forward to reading about your progess! And 6lbs in 2 days is FAB!!!!!!!!!

 

[tootsie]

Thanks Isobel, I was going to keep a manual diary but I am faster at typing than writing, plus you don't get the cramp in your wrists!!! LOL

Before I started LL, the only motivation I needed was to read everyones diaries/posts and see the massive transformations on the Gallery.

If I can help people the way all the members on here have helped me then I will be well chuffed.

 

[Isobel1965]

Good for you, hun - you're going to do great!!!

 

[tootsie]

Morning all.

Well it's day 5 for me today and I actually feel the worst I have felt since I started. I have no energy at all, found it so hard to get out of bed this morning!!

I did a 10.5 hour shift behind the bar yesterday (helping a friend out) and was so pleased I resisted all temptation, I was a big wine drinker you see. I have only told a very small handful of people what I am doing and those that don't know kept laughing at me with my water in hand!! Abstaining was so much easier than I thought it was going to be even when my god father offered me a roated chestnut (my favorite) - he looked at me, totally bemused as to why I had refused, I just told him I had toothache!!

Towards the afternoon yesterday I had a very interesting couple of hours where I went totally scatty, it was like being tipsy. I walked into things, couldn't remember anything, playing a game I just couldn't grasp what was going on, it was totally weird. One of my closest friends turned round to me and asked me if it was possible to get drunk on so much water, I wonder Has anyone else experienced this?

I am starting IVF once I reach my goal and am doing this diet to give myself and DH the best possible chance of having a baby. If I am fit and healthy then I can't blame myself if we fail!

My clothes are definately feeling better, I can't wait until I can just grab anything out of the wardrobe, put it on and feel great, 95 days to go!!!!

Well in ketosis today, stick was really pink this morning. I have not had a pack yet today as not hungry at all, will go and make one soon and force it down!!

My darling husband is being so supportive, he keeps telling me how proud he is that I have stuck to it so far. My 9 year old is being great to but we have to keep it quite low key with her as I don't want her to suddenly become obsessed with her own body. We have told her that I am doing this to be as fit and healthy for her new baby brother/sister as possible and that is the only reason, she seems to be happy with this.

Back at work today and have a mountain to do but want to stay on here all day, it really helps to put things down in writing.

Long post i know, sorry, just some stuff I needed to get down.

have a great day peeps
Taniaxxx

P.S I am posting this on the new LL starters in jan thread as well just so you don't think I have gone mad, or had another scatty incident!!!!!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Well done Tania for starting your diary - it does help.

Great that you've already had 6lb loss - the first few days you lose glycogen - which is stored in the liver and weighs heavier than fat - hence why first week weigh ins are so great!!!! Once your glycogen store has been used you burn fat - which if you are in ketosis, you are!!

You will continue to lose weight every week and it will be great to read about your progress. Well done!

 

[tootsie]

Thanks you so much for your support, you and everyone else. Us newbies find it a great tool to motivate us xxxxx

 

[tootsie]

Day 6

OMG, last night I felt so bad/weird. Myself and a couple of friends went to visit my best mate last night. I drove, obviously, but scared myself stupid. I was making so many mistakes like indicating the wrong way, breaking to hard or not enough, couldn't remember where I was going. It felt as if I had had a lot of alcohol and was very tipsy. I couldn't string a sentance together and my eyes felt as if they were full of sand, it was horrible. Is this normal, please tell me???????

When we arrived at my BF's house her husband had prepared some nibbles for us, now his idea of nibbles is full blown buffet, it all looked so gorgeous. I had such a hard time resisting as I was feeling so bad I thought if I ate something it would make me feel better. I resisted but filled my water bottle up about 5 times!!!! My mates were really good about the food and drink, very supportive but were rolling around in hysterics because I was being so out of character!!

I had to leave at 9.30 as I was so scared about the drive home. We live right in the country and the journey to my BF's house takes about 30 mins and its dark, wet and the roads are very narrow with lots of unexpected sharp corners, not nice. Any way, got home fine, eventually and went straight to bed.

I have woken up this morning, very tired again but not so spaced out, I am just hoping yesterday was the worst it's going to be and that it should get better from now on.

Tried a hot choc shake this morning made with mint tea, really really nice. I am not having any of the foodpacks cold as I just can't somach them cold.

If you are reading this and have experienced how I felt yesterday could you please reply so I can put my mind at rest.

Will update diary later with how I am feeling today.

Ta Ta for now xxxx

 

[tootsie]

Day 7

I feel great today!!! Thank goodness!!!

Was still a bit shakey last night but much better than I have felt but today I feel blooming marvellous! Still really cold though, does anyone know if this lasts all the way through, if so roll on the spring

Last night I really need to chew so took some advice from this site and made some crisps, they were great, just what I needed and they really filled me up. I tried them with two flavours, Veg and Thai Chilli. The veg ones were delicious especially with lots of tobasco in the mix but the chilli ones were disgusting, much better as the soup. They really do get crispy, think they may be my salvation.

Slept well last night and after my first coffee this morning I felt on top of the world.

My skin however is not so good. I suffer from acne roseasa. It has been brilliant until I started this diet. I think it may be all the Xmas toxins trying to get out and should hopefully clear up in a week or two.

I am drinking about 7/8 litres of water a day and finding it really easy, peeing non stop mind you. It's lucky I am in an office on my own with a toilet so no one has noticed yet!!

Hubby and daughter are still being absolutely wonderful. hubby has started a diet with me, just cutting out all the crap, having three healthy meals a day and he has lost 6llbs which is great. Daughter is a bit upset though. One of her favorite pass time is to stand behind me and play my bum like a set of bongo drums!! She is worried my bum is going to get smaller and it wont't sound the same

I have found that I am alot more sociable in the morning with my family, for the last 3 days we have actually all sat down and eaten breakfast together, something we have never done.

1st weigh in tonight, excited and aprehensive all at the same time. Will be great to see all the other women in my group and see how they have been. Also looking forward to the first bit of councelling. Clothes are feeling looser so hopefully I will get a good result. I think this is the first diet I have not cheated on once, not a morsal has passed my lips except foodpacks, coffee, mint tea and water, really proud of myself. If I can do a week feeling a rotten as I did then I will finish what I have started.

May not be on much today, loads and loads to do.

 

[tootsie]

Well, I am on day 9, can't quite believe I have stuck to this diet 100%, the first time ever in my life.

Finding it relatively easy although last night I was sooooo hungry, I made some crisps as a treat and sat down to eat them with a glass of flavoured water with ice, I felt as if I was really treating myself.

I had my first weigh in on Wed night and i lost 9 and a half llbs, i thought I would be on top of the world but I felt quite flat for some reason.

Picked up the bars, as this is the first week we are allowed them. I had one yesterday at work for lunch and I felt like I was cheating. When I got home I immediately weed on a stick, it was still pink, but I had it in my head that I had knocked myself out of ketosis cause I had had the bar

Anyway feeling O.K today, finding it a real struggle to wake up in the morning, almost like i have a hang over. Once I have had a coffee I seem to be O.K, but I thought I would be bouncing out of bed, hopefully that will come.

Daughter really tested our patience last night. I was having a lovely bath, reading my book while my husband came upstairs with her to get her ready for bed. She is 9 and a half and up until last night has always treated us with a modicum of respect, well she absolutely blew that out the water, for the first time. She gave OH some back chat, he has been threatening to take away her TV and DVD for a week, so this is what he did. Then she started the whole Catherine Tate scenario, not "Bovered", "whatever", I was listening to this in the bath and couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. i guess this is a sign of things to come, but It knocked us both sideways.

Had my haircut by my best mate yesterday and she said to me " I can't wait until we go on holiday because we will be able to swap clothes and bikinis", she is a size 10/12. This really hit home that I am going to be slim and healthy for the first time in my adult life, i am no longer going to be the "big" friend, I will be one of the girls!!!!!

I put a blouse on for work this morning, i usually have to leave the two bottom buttons undone as It was tight around my middle but today it is done up all the way. I can really notice the 9.5 llbs now, and this has really confirmed in my mind, I am not going to fail, I can do this.

I know I am rambling, but I want a complete diary to look back on when I get to where I want to be, physically and mentally.....

Enough for now.....

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

Well done on weight loss Toots. Yes it will be lovely for you to look back on.

Hope your friend has lots of nice clothes for you to borrow!!!!

 

[tootsie]

Thanks Flirty, and yes she does, she is a bit of a fashion victim, so it may be a bit one sided, just me borrowing hers!!!

 

[tootsie]

Day 12

Day 12 today, and feeling really good.

Had a pop in on Saturday and have lost another 4.5llbs, was totally amazed, that is 14 llbs (1 stone) in all. I am not going to change my ticker until I have had my official weigh in.

Went into to guildford after my weigh in to try and find something to wear for my big night out, didn't find anything but for the first time I really enjoyed just looking at the lovely clothes I will be able to wear in the future.

I went to my friends 30th Birthday Saturday night, 15 of us and I only new her so felt really self conscious. So could have done with a glass of wine when we met up in the pub just to relax me. We got a 16seater pink stretch limo to China Whites in london, not that impressed to tell you the truth, don't know if it was because I was drinking water all night. Music was really good though. i felt really frumpy and old, all night. All the girls I was with had such lovely outfits on and they all looked so trendy. I just looked so mumsy and felt really down just looking around. Woke up on Sunday morning and kicked myself up the a*se and told myself that it wont be long until I look like one of those girls.

I have to say it was so nice to wake up the morning after a big night out feeling fine, I think this diet is really going to change my drinking habits, I hope so.

Well it's now Monday morning and I am feeling fantastic. Can really notice the weight loss already. I have not been tempted to eat at all, I just keep telling myself it's not worth it, I don't need it and I will feel so bad after if I do, abstaining is the only way to go!!

Thats it for the mo, not too much to report. Just cant beleive it's 12 days already, 88 to go!!!

 

[flirty40greeneyes]

A stone!!!!!!!!! Well done - that is great ..........

and yes you'll soon be buying lovely clothes and enjoying being slim!

 

[tootsie]

Thanks Flirtyxx

 

[tootsie]

Day 13

OMG I had such a horrible evening last night.

Was feeling great and positive all day yesterday until about 5 o'clock then the sh*t really hit the fan.

I have a 9 and a half year old daughter, who is starting to "grow up", if you know what i mean. It has been really noticable in the last 10 days or so that her attitude is getting worse. She has always been such a lovely little girl and I am always (since she could speak) getting comments on how sociable and polite she is, something that I hold very dear to me is manners and she never let me down. This has all changed very dramatically.
We had our first screaming match last night, something I am not proud of, but she just pushed all the wrong buttons. Eventually I managed to get her into her room and told her to stay there until bed time. i went down stairs and all I wanted to do was eat!!! (I think I have found my first trigger!!) I made my husband and daughter a steak and ale pie the night before and there was half left in the fridge, it was actually talking to me, so was the cheese

Luckily I had two foodpacks to go so had some soup, this didn't help!!.

I just sat on my own and thought "I am going to listen to my body!" I realised I wasn't hungry at all but I just so wanted to eat and eat and eat.......

Hubby came in and I just couldn't talk to him (unusual for us) I just said I am having a bath and going to bed!! Had my bath, had a hot choc shake and went to bed with my book.

I woke up this morning feeling so proud of myself that I didn't cave in and feel like i have got over 1 hurdle, my first real realisation as to why I eat.....

She made a big deal of apologising to me this morning and says she can't control what is coming out of her mouth, she says the last person she wants to upset is me and doesn't understand why she is doing it.

We have had the hormone chat as her boobs are starting to grow. I have made the decision, along with hubby, to give her evening primrose oil to see if that helps, it helps me! Do you think this is O.K?

Anyway, scales were really kind to me this morning, don't normally weigh myself but felt like i had lost loads when i woke up, this cheered me up!!

Will be double posting this on the LL starters thread too.

Have a good day all and if you could answer the oil question I would really apreciate it.
Thanks xx