Old habits are hard to shake!!!

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by Ella Belle, 24 November 2010 Social URL.

  1. Ella Belle

    Ella Belle Silver Member

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    Grrrr, I just wrote a big, difficult to write thread and my computer wiped it :mad:

    It's important for me I think to 'say' this so I'm going to re-write..
    ...actually I can't be bothered, I started but it's just too long a story. Short version is..this evening an old scary voice came into my head telling me to hide food and secretly down it later. The thought was there before I knew it but in the next second I was aware of it and the image of this site came into my head. I was able to instantly say a very loud 'no' to myself and the thought went away. The fact that the 'voice' appeared terrifies me, it is a voice that I have battled with since childhood..though in fairness the voice has mostly won the battle fairly easily. It's the first time since starting LT that such a strong old habit reared it's head. What I'm very happy about was that I overcame it, something I was mentally not able to do a few months ago, I had really gotten to such a bad place with food that I didn't fight any urges at all. While doing LT I've been trying to think about all the habits, face them, and more importantly own up to them. That last one is the hard one. But here I am, I faced an ugly horrible old habit tonight (the secret compulsion to eat until I feel ill one) and it hit me strong but I won. It sounds stupid and I don't want to make light of other peoples addictions, but I am an addict and my problem is food. There are many reasons for this addiction but it is what I have. I have lived with it forever, well first negative habit memory was from when I was 9. Sometimes i can handle it, sometimes it doesn't affect me for months and I'm okay and 'normal' but other times, like the last year or so, it takes over completely, food is all I think about, the focus of my day, the focus of everything really. Anyway, it may sound stupid or melodramatic but it is so important for me to ''say' it. I can honestly say that tonight was such a huge step for me, I acknowledged the 'voice' but I didn't break.

    Thank you to everyone on here just for being here. Without this site I know for a fact I would not have gotten this far with LT so really thank you to everyone. Okay, this didn't turn out to be much of a short version..sorry :eek:
     
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  3. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Well done on your achievement:hug99:
     
  4. XxAbbiexX23

    XxAbbiexX23 Dieting & Mummy To Ethan

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    The thing is Ella, food IS an addiction, if it wasn't, there wouldn't be such a struggle for all of us to lose weight.
    The fact you stood up to that voice inside you shows your fighting that addiction and keeping yourself going with this.
    Be proud of yourself. You're doing excellently well. :) xxx
     
  5. SSusee

    SSusee Full Member

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    Hi Ella
    Your post was very honest and interesting and one I can relate to very well. It's just as well you recognised your problem & took the steps you did to start LT when you did, because the weight just creeps up on you and before you know it, you're 17stone (like I was) or 20stone or 25 stone and it becomes an even bigger challenge to loose. Also, the fact you recognised the "voice" in your head when it appeared means you've identified your trigger and can do something about it. That means you're on the way to beating the addiction, controlling IT & not letting IT control you! Congrats!
    Suse
     
  6. funkystrut

    funkystrut Full Member

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    Ella, this post is very touching and I too can empathise. My whole family on my dad's side (besides my mum who looks younger than me coz she's so slim) are obese...with many fatal health conditions .....I have grown up with lots of food around me ...... ironically our family doesn't need it. I have always been conscious of this and as a teenager I used to exercise alot and be extremely careful of what I ate. But it was only after I had my daughter, did i piled it on and I didn't care....that horrible voice inside never went away...I just carried on eating and eating.I still struggle to this day but I have such wonderful people around me for support.(esp my DH and my doctors)

    I describe this the worst addition ever.....because food is all around us all the time...we need it to survive. Everytime I cheat or crave for something I know that my battle over food is going to take a long time to end. I am so proud of you Elle and thank you for being so honest. You may find that there are many of us on LT going through the same thing....These feelings are profound and not many people can openly talk about it. Thank you for doing just that.:)
     
  7. Shaz1980

    Shaz1980 Full Member

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    I totally understand what you are all saying and have been there myself. You did so well to resist and it is an amazing achievement. So proud of you hun x x
     
  8. SandraB

    SandraB Gold Member

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    Ella, have you ever considered NLP (neuro linguistic programming)? It takes behavioural patterns and, basically, reprograms them in the your mind. I had a number of issues in my life that were becoming a real problem earlier this summer so I went along, with an open mind, just to see what it was all about.


    Well, to cut a long story short, I had five sessions and I really can't believe the difference in my life. I don't think that it's any coincidence that shortly after I found the strength to start LT ....the rest, as you know, is history!

    My sister has had some issues since childhood (we had a very difficult upbringing with some hideous trauma) and she's just started it too.......

    It may be the NLP would give you help to overcome the compulsions that drive you to eat? You have shown enormous willpower and strength to get this far but it honestly doesn't have to be that hard.

    Pm me if you want to know more........x
     
  9. Trose1203

    Trose1203 Full Member

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    Thanks for taking the time and having the courage to write your thoughts down for us to read,,it helps all of us more than you know,,,,
     
  10. Ella The Yoyo

    Ella The Yoyo Full Member

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    Well done.

    And cool name ;) hehe xx
     
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