OMG this post really spoke to me. You’ve put it brilliantly and I really need to think about accepting that I’ll always be in a loosing or gaining cycle too but like you say I need to reduce the parameters.You see, I think I've made peace with the fact that I'll probably always be in a 'weight on' 'weight off' cycle. I always have been, but gradually the arcs have got bigger as I've got older. I'd like to bring it down to smaller parameters. I'd also like this to be the last time I feel I have to do a VLCD, and switch to low carb for main way of eating, but I know I'll probably never have a 'healthy, moderate' relationship with sweet food.
There's also something a bit weird that makes dieting harder the older I get; when I was younger I would truly hate my body if I put on weight which would allow me to punish myself with extreme diets etc. Now,. although I'm the heaviest I've been, I actually quite like and appreciate myself, so it makes it harder to do things that make me uncomfortable. I don't know if that makes sense? Obviously it makes fitness easier as health is an important goal for me.
I have dodgy knees and I know they'd be so much better with a couple of stone removed from bearing down on them.
I agree with the late eating though, I've done a couple of weeks in OMAD before and j quite enjoyed it.
Thanks for that post, it’s been a light bulb moment for me x