OT my 17 year old daughter is pregnant!!!

Discussion in 'Orlistat (Xenical)' started by skyegirl, 11 December 2009 Social URL.

  1. skyegirl

    skyegirl Full Member

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    Ok I don't seem to be posted anything xenical related these days but I feel comfortable airing my worries with you lot, so sorry if I get a bit tedious.
    I get a text to say my middle one needs to see me, I sort of guessed why and went round to see her, she has a flat just a few doors down in the village. Anyway as I suspected she's pregnant and only 17 and a half!! She has always been a little difficult to get on with and the whole family including my 2nd husbands family have tried to help her through out her life, he came into my life when she was 5 years old but her problems stemmed from much earlier at around 18 months (ADHD), sounds impossible to understand but believe me she was a nightmare child, I took her out of school at 12 and had her educated at home as the school were unable to cope with her and got her involved in clubs and stuff, she never wanted for attention or love I can tell you. When we moved here she was 15 she wanted to try going back to school but found it tough and finally was asked to leave when she was nearly 16. She had got into trouble for stealing a car vandalizing stuff and was under an order from the childrens panel and social workers, she then went to live with a woman just round the corner from us, we tried to fight this as this woman was a bad influence on her but social services backed her, they then abandoned her as she was 16!! Our relationship became distant as she went off the rails drinking and taking drugs etc. Then not long ago we discoved she had been spreading lies about the rest of the family especially my husband, my eldest DD refused to speak to her as it involved her too and my husband has cut his ties with her and she is banned from the house. I completely understand his point of view we have all bent over backwards to help her and she just seems to be out to hurt us all the time.
    Anyway she's now pregnant , living in squaller, she never cleans lives in a mound of beer cans and fag ends. I went round today and cleaned her bedroom, expaining that she needs to clean the house as its not fit for a baby to live in, she seemed to take it in, I discoved that the rug was covering a huge mound of dropped paint, and I found dog faeces in a corner. I have said I will go round and help her clean the house before the midwife is due to visit or I think they will put her on a at risk list or something. I feel so sad, I couldn't have her back with us think my youngest would leave home along with my husband and I don't even think that would help her and I know she wouldn't want to come back anyway, but I can't turn my back on her or I should say the new life she is carrying. Her BF the father is a looser, he works but basically I can't see him settling down with her and a baby, I think she disillusioned by thinking he will, he's about 23 and has loads of GFs and drinks heavily. My daughter has an emotional age of around 12 and has mental health issues, she is under psychiatrists and is on medication.
    What a mess!!!
    xxx
     
    Last edited: 11 December 2009
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  3. Calkarima

    Calkarima Gonna do it this time

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    Oh Skyegirl just want to send you a huge hug. It really sounds like this week has been very hard for you.

    You sound torn between everyone and its so difficult being the peace keeper. It sounds like you have done everything you can and are continuing to do everything to help your middle daughter. I really hope she manages to turn things around and sort herself out before the little one comes along.

    Hugs

    Mhairi
    xx
     
  4. skyegirl

    skyegirl Full Member

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    Thanks Mhairi , We have to look to the future and there is a wee one to prepare for now.
    xxx
     
  5. LaLaLou

    LaLaLou Silver Member

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    Have PM'd you skyegirl, hope everything sorts itself out for you and your family!

    xx
     
  6. skyegirl

    skyegirl Full Member

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    Thanks for the PM ouise, I have replied. and thanks to all who have PMd me it such a support.
    xxx
     
  7. IreneH

    IreneH Gold Member

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    Big hugs from me too

    Irene xx
     
  8. UNHAPPY-GREEN-EYES

    UNHAPPY-GREEN-EYES Full Member

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    hi big hugs to u hun, sometimes wen everything seems terrible , well sometimes it can get better hun, dont give up on her just do wat u can, dont get walked over tho, u need to know where to draw the line,

    good luck hun take care x x x
     
  9. kae

    kae gunna be a fatty for ever

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    Im too sending lots of hugs sky! You sound like u r a fantastic mother and your children are very lucky to have you!

    im around if u ever need a chat

    love katie
    xxx
     
  10. skyegirl

    skyegirl Full Member

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    Thanks Katie, I surely will PM you, Girls ......who'd have em. (not really)
    xxx
     
  11. Toots

    Toots Gold Member

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    My closest friend fell pregnant at 15. You could not meet a better mother or a most fantastic child (I say child, she just turned 18). Now my friend has a fabulous career and her daughter is off to uni next year. She has a lovely home, husband and a great job - all because she had to grow up PDQ and did everything for her baby girl.

    It may seem like the end of the world now but it doesn't have to be

    Good luck and hugs

    xx
     
  12. Earthmother

    Earthmother Likes to cook

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    Oh Skye, Your post touched me deeply & I send you positive vibes and hope for things to improve. As you say, it's the baby and its welfare that is paramount in this issue, you are obviously a good mother and will be a good grandmother. You can only help your daughter as much as she will allow you to, the girl is fighting her own demons and although her problems are of her own making, she still deserves sympathy. That said, emotionally demanding people are draining and can suck out your soul, remember you still have yourself and the rest of your family to consider. Get professional advice and ask for help. whether it be mental health professionals or social workers there must be someone in the system that can guide and help your daughter. Dont take all the weight on your own shoulders, its not fair on you or the rest of your family. Thinking of you.
     
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