'OUR FIRST WINTER '....lovely story of snow

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Amanda (Loopy), 31 January 2008 Social URL.

  1. Amanda (Loopy)

    Amanda (Loopy) CDC

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    THE DIARY OF AN ENGLISHMAN
    (White Settler)
    LIVING IN THE HIGHLANDS

    'OUR FIRST WINTER '

    DEC
    20TH It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first we've seen
    for years. The wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch
    watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down clinging to the trees and
    covering the ground. It's so beautiful and peaceful.

    DEC 24th We
    awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far
    as the eye could see. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush covered
    with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and
    loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that day a
    snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with
    compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back
    and shovelled it away again. The children next door built a snowman with
    coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight, a couple
    just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back and joined in their
    fun.

    DEC 26th It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the
    temperature dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees
    and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway
    again. Shortly afterwards the snowplough came by and did his trick again.
    Much of the snow is now a brownish - grey.

    JAN 1st Warmed up enough
    during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the
    temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars £500. Fell on
    my arse in the driveway. £100 to a physio but nothing was broken.

    JAN
    5th Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought her a 4x4 to get her to work.
    She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing - £200.
    Had another 8 inches of white ***** last night. Both vehicles are covered in
    salt and iced up slush that ******* snowplough came by twice today. Where's
    that bloody shovel.

    JAN 9th More f*****g snow. Not a tree or bush on
    our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night.
    Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater
    which tipped over and nearly torched the house. I managed to put the flames
    out but suffered 2nd Degree burns on my hands. Lost all my eye brows and
    eyelashes. Car hit a f*****g deer on the way to casualty and was written
    off.

    JAN 13th F*****g b*****d white ***** just keeps on coming down.
    Have to put on every article of clothing just to go to the post box. The
    little c***s next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back - I'll
    shove that carrot so far up the little pricks arse it'll take a good surgeon 6
    hours to find it. If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snowplough
    I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think the
    b*****d hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and
    then he accelerates down the street like Michael 'f*****g' Schumacher and
    buries the f*****g driveway again.

    JAN 17th 16 more sodding inches of
    f*****g snow and f*****g ice and f*****g sleet and god knows what other
    white ***** fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for assaulting
    the snowplough driver with an ice - pick.
    Can't move my f*****g toes.
    Haven't seen the sun for 5 weeks. Minus 20 and more f*****g snow
    forecast

    F**K THIS, I'M MOVING BACK TO LONDON
     
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  3. Flab-u-less-Flower

    Flab-u-less-Flower Silver Member

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    Oh how I can relate to this story, I live in the cold icebox, this week it was minus -50 and -60, so frigid temps.
    :gen125::gen125::gen125::gen125:

    when your teeth chatter, you know its darn cold!

    I've read this story years ago and it still is pretty funny reading it again.
     
  4. Lil K

    Lil K Addicted to Minimins

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    Where are you from Flower?
     
  5. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    Loved your story Amanda!!!





    [​IMG]
     
  6. Summerskye

    Summerskye Gold Member

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    Me too ... and it's great to see you back on here again. How you doing? :D
     
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