Out of interest...

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Minerva, 26 August 2009 Social URL.

  1. Minerva

    Minerva ...passing through.

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    We all know LL provides a fairly good course of counselling... Now; not all exercises will ring true for us - and not all techniques work. It's all down to the individual to make use of the tools given to us as best as we can.

    I guess, out of interest - what have been the most useful sessions to you personally?

    I found identifying the "rebellious child" ego state the most interesting. It's been useful for me to personify my cravings, and emotional hunger: as a naughty screaming child. If I assign an unattrative image to a particular bad habit/feeling/craving, then it makes it easier to deal with.

    Now: when my head screams it wants something it shouldn't have; usually I picture this really nasty child throwing a tantrum - and I just say 'No' and wave my finger at it.

    I suppose that's the CBT lesson which stuck with me the longest out of all the LL meetings.



    How about yourselves? :)
     
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  3. pete10141748

    pete10141748 Postaholic

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    It's the ego states for me too, but all of them, realising that actually I spend a good deal of time being a completely "free chld" and just not even considering the consequences of what I do when it comes to eating (and money too!).

    I've really had to learn to deal with that and tell myself it's time to "grow up" and be an adult-ego person instead. It works most of the time. Though I do find that often when I am in a more grown-up ego state I tend to be a bit of a critical parent. But I'll get there! :)
     
  4. slendablenda

    slendablenda Gold Member

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    Recognising the ego states

    That's it Pete. We won't get rid of them, we are always in one or another, but understanding and recognising them does hopefully give us a bit more control.
    For me that's what it's all about and it helps to be able to recognise where other people are too.
     
  5. Jezebella

    Jezebella Playing the Angel

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    I think its the TA for me too! At first I didn't really see how it worked regarding me and food. All of a sudden though it just clicked in and I am learning to recognize the states more easily and trying to move myself into a more adult state. Like Pete I spent a lot of time in free child then would move to critical parent and finally become rebellious child! I have also found that the crooked thinking made a lot of sense,along with the thought records, ie looking for evidence as to why things might or might not work, why I am thinking the way I am thinking. Did a really good one on Monday, regarding my fears of starting RTM and just putting all the weight back on. When I sat down and worked it out logically I could see where the fear was coming from, but you SB and BL and lots of others were the evidence I used to prove that IT DOES WORK if you do it right! Put me in a much better frame of mind.

    Jez
    xx
     
  6. orange

    orange Member

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    :):) I like that. I can relate to that and it'll stay with me. Thanks.
     
  7. thin_inside

    thin_inside I Can Do This!

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    TA for me too. Simply being aware of the ego state of myself and others. With awareness comes an ability to control and then change.

    Also that triangle with Victim and Persecutor etc. has been really helpful in understanding my relationship with my mother, including the food aspects.

    I never did understand the Thoughts Records bit though Jez. It all seems a bit complex to me.

    xx
     
  8. Twinny

    Twinny Full Member

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    :eek:Perhaps thats why I've re-gained almost 2 stone since finishing RTM - I never really understood the ego states.....I will have to make sure I grasp it this time round :eek:
     
  9. Twinny

    Twinny Full Member

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    I never did the thought records either....blimey I sound like a real thicko but I just couldn't get my head round it...
     
  10. loula

    loula Full Member

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    The thing that I find myself using most is the Chatterbox idea - I envisage (this will sound really stupid!) a big green cardboard box (no idea why it has to be green, it just does!) shouting at me with a megaphone what I want to eat, and it's my job to shout back and take control. THe couselling is definitely crucial to ongoing weight management.
     
  11. daisydoll

    daisydoll Gold Member

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    hi
    have been thinking about this for a couple of days

    the rebellious child has def hit home with me - i still go there with food, but i now recognise her and she is becoming easier to deal with!

    the parent/child ego states are something my husband and i go into frequently and we often bicker about stupid things, since doing LL i am much more aware and try and get into adult mode - it works sometimes lol!

    daisy x
     
  12. Snorks

    Snorks Full Member

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    This thread has really confused me! I've only missed one session since starting LL and that was because I started the week after everyone else but I have no idea what you're all talking about. I keep hearing about the rebellious child but don't actually know what it means, and I have no idea what TA stands for or what the chatterbox is. I do recognise the victim/persecutor one but that's about it. I'm sure I haven't been asleep during the sessions, but surely all of this wouldn't have been covered in the very first week that I missed?
     
  13. Morticia

    Morticia Happy in my own skin

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    Snorks, you're right they were not covered in the first week. I'm sure they were covered in about week 6/7 but would have to look back in my book to check for you. Or if you've got yours handy you could have a look and see if any of it rings a bell. There were some excercises/homework that came with those particular weeks too.
     
  14. LL Gal

    LL Gal Beautiful day

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    Very interesting thread ...

    For me, during the sessions, the 'drama cycle' had the most impact, as I have too often, put myself or have been thrown into the role of rescuer and wondered why I feel awful in the process ... learning about the 'drama cycle' has allowed me to break the cycle without guilt which hung over me often (very much the adapted child). I actually would like to bring out some more rebellious child at times to counter some of the strong personalities in my life and also hang onto my adult state, again without the feelings of guilt which make me want to please others.

    It is wonderful to be able to identify the psychological improvements that I underwent before lighterlife through life experience and maturing, but it's equally wonderful to give a name to all the processes and have definitions for the ego states and affirmation that I've been on the right track. I have found it relevant to many areas of life.

    I would like to improve my ability to identify my thought processes in relation to food, but I think that fight will come in RTM because in abstinence I do not have the urge to eat or cheat.
     
    Last edited: 2 September 2009
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