Cerulean
Silver Member
Hiya - I can't remember if I ever discussed this first time round - I know I've mentioned the prolonged weightloss terrors and the panic I felt at 9st something, but something I rarely discuss is how loopy I went at the end of Lighter Life. I was so so snappy. Like mega snapsome. If I made a mistake or did something wrong it was amplifed to the nth degree.
I know the scariness passes. I know I have to just breathe. But argh! Argh! ARGH! It's starting to affect my work and the pressure of having to compensate is starting to be a strain.
Now you see - since the first time round when I went proper loopy from about 13 stone downwards - all paranoid and angsty cos of the prolonged weightloss - I've never done it past that point - too risky getting all scatty and moody and snappy and oh so paranoid - seriously...like the tiniest things turn into mega dramas. I know the diet brings about an enormous sense of calm sometimes, but...the negatives can be terrifying. I'm a pretty centred person these days so the angst is worrying.
I know when I did this for 10 weeks in 2009 I started eating once I got under 13st as I had started getting short with people. I really can;t afford that loss of peace of mind. But then I am not convinced I should come off this so soon - or that I'll be any less grumpy on any other sort of diet. I guess I could try to maintain here for a few months and then go from 14 - 11 in the next burst after stabilising. That's a possible solution. After all I feel good in myself at this weight and the 16s. It does mean I'd be SSing in the autumn months, a thing I've never had to do...but...hmmm - I'm a sticker so I'm unlikely to quit before I've done the 20 weeks I promised myself and I really am pretty much at the halfway stage. I just need to try not to make rash decisions.
I do yoga and lots of exercise - I'm pretty zen and calm and have been for the last 9 months or so. I know this means I must have been using food as a sedative. But I also know that longterm ketosis is something of a crazymaker in my world.
Must try to keep my life as simple as poss.
Yeah.
Also not to get jealous of my sort of ex going out with a Countess. Where's my Earl, eh? God yeah - I get so jealous on these diets...
How about you?
I know the scariness passes. I know I have to just breathe. But argh! Argh! ARGH! It's starting to affect my work and the pressure of having to compensate is starting to be a strain.
Now you see - since the first time round when I went proper loopy from about 13 stone downwards - all paranoid and angsty cos of the prolonged weightloss - I've never done it past that point - too risky getting all scatty and moody and snappy and oh so paranoid - seriously...like the tiniest things turn into mega dramas. I know the diet brings about an enormous sense of calm sometimes, but...the negatives can be terrifying. I'm a pretty centred person these days so the angst is worrying.
I know when I did this for 10 weeks in 2009 I started eating once I got under 13st as I had started getting short with people. I really can;t afford that loss of peace of mind. But then I am not convinced I should come off this so soon - or that I'll be any less grumpy on any other sort of diet. I guess I could try to maintain here for a few months and then go from 14 - 11 in the next burst after stabilising. That's a possible solution. After all I feel good in myself at this weight and the 16s. It does mean I'd be SSing in the autumn months, a thing I've never had to do...but...hmmm - I'm a sticker so I'm unlikely to quit before I've done the 20 weeks I promised myself and I really am pretty much at the halfway stage. I just need to try not to make rash decisions.
I do yoga and lots of exercise - I'm pretty zen and calm and have been for the last 9 months or so. I know this means I must have been using food as a sedative. But I also know that longterm ketosis is something of a crazymaker in my world.
Must try to keep my life as simple as poss.
Yeah.
Also not to get jealous of my sort of ex going out with a Countess. Where's my Earl, eh? God yeah - I get so jealous on these diets...
How about you?