Partner not helping

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

Fed up of not getting any support in what I do from my fiance. All he does is asks me not to go to the gym as I'm 'using up too much fuel' and eats crap food front of me.
On the verge of snapping now.
Help Xx

 

[mazziecoupe]

I dont think i can help but i can identify with you, last night as i was eating half a pasta n sauce my boyfriend sat with a large pizza, a can of full fat coke and a folded garlic bread with doner meat (puke!) ...he really doesnt help, i feel like screaming at him "you should be on this with me you big lump!!!" ..

 

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

God I know the feeling. It infuriates me. And even when he is dieting its like one big competition. I need help not putting down when you've lost more than me!

 

[mazziecoupe]

For some ungodly reason weight seems to fall of the male species alot faster than off us, i really would like him upstairs to explain why we have to have 1) periods 2) period pains 3) childbirth & relevant pains and still not be allowed weight to drop off us like men!! Cruel and unfair

All we can do is apply the "slow and steady wins the race" theory...then laugh in his/their face when we're stunningly thin and beautiful and they look a big fat mess ) x

 

[jockiejoe]

Tackle is reasoning in hampering u get to ur goal (s) face to face. If he cant see ur vision lose, say bye, find another fish, that wants put down by U

 

[nicolaann]

tell him to stop eating junk and the money you save will be fine to spend on fuel.. only then can he tell you not to do something to save money, in the mean time go the gym!
i knw how u feel my ex was terrible for it, but my new man is really good hes doing it with me but only weighs once a month so hes not obsessed or making it a comp and talks me down from my the phone when im being foodicidal and want to call a takeaway..
sit him down and explain u need support, men are a bit thick sometime and will carry on if its not spelt out for him xxx

 

[sarah88]

The problem is family members who eat junk and get away with it don't understand how hard it is for us to sit there watching them eat all the nice things we want. About the gym, could u not get a fitness DVD or jog/ walk insted, u don't need to go to the gym to exercise, just a thought if u need to save some £££

 

[kimbo k]

It takes spelling out to be supportive for a man. My Oh thought he was helping by pointing out everything I ate that he didn't class as healthy.

I had a chat with him about this now he's my personal motivator. We have a Chinese Friday! Any other day I want take away he kindly reminds me its Not Friday and cooks something. Generally @ get a bit crazy when I want take away.

So he's helping by cooking, not only is it helping me but we're working together in the kitchen which is great.

 

[kagome75]

I would sit down with him and have a serious chat, explain to him how important WW is for you and what annoys you about his behaviour. If you keep on moaning about it but do nothing about it you will get to the point that your relationship might be at risk because of this. I think that the best you can do is talk to him and allow him to put remedy to this mess. He's your fiancé so he should know that for a bride losing weight and tone up before her big day is essential. He should encourage you and support you, not obstacle you in every single way. I'm sure that if you talk to him he's going to understand! xx

 

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

He doesn't see why I need the help. "if its something I need and want to do then nothing should stop me and why should he have to change to help that".

Somedays I just use it as motivation to show him I can do it without him, other days I let it drag me down Xx

 

[kagome75]

I would tell him that if he loves me he should understand that sometimes I need a little bit of support even if it is something I very much want to do. Motivation doesn't grow on trees and there are times when you're fed up ad don't want to do something even if you know you have to and want to really... you are a couple to encourage and sustain each other, in sickness and health, rich and poor an etc He might as well get used to it, as he proposed and will say these vows in a few months...

ETA: besides, "why should he change"? Because you're a couple? You are probably going to make changes in your way of doing things to accommodate what he needs, what does it mean "why should he change" that's absolutely unacceptable! Nobody asks him to have a complete change of personality, but small things like not eating rubbish in front of you and the likes are only a sign of respect which he *should* demonstrate towards his future wife. If it was my husband saying something like that I would take offence...

 

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the help.
I think I'm just going to power on through.
And when on slim get myself a fitness hunk lol Xxx

 

[lora_ravie]

my other half is a bit like this!

we both LOVE our takeaways and can time the 'lets just get a takeaway tonight' line to perfection when he knows ive been up early with the LO and then at work all day and cant really be chewed with cooking.

The best thing ive found is planning our meals in advance. this has helped me save a hell of a lot of money but ive also found my other half actually likes what im cooking even though its SW friendly and he wants me to cook more.

So far so good!!

he still eats chocolate around me so i made a low syn cake and because ive not bought any chocolate he has no choice but to eat the cake!

im sneaky but it works!!

x

 

[Baby-belle]

My boyfriend is supportive most of the time for example if I mention I've been to the gym or lost a lb ect but if we're going out he winges and says stuff like oh we can't go there because of your points in his little taking the Micky voice and if I have a day off he sometimes says why don't you go to the gym which annoys me, he thinks he is being motivational but you can't help thinking why are you telling me to go to the gym? Lol. He also says stuff like will be ever be able to have a pizza together again and I say yes if I wanted one I would have one!

 

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

On the pizza note buy warbys square wraps. Use a squirt of tomato puree and half a tin of chopped toms, 30 - 60gs of low fat cheese, ham and any other toppings, I use chopped spinach, onions, olives, mushrooms, and oven bake for 10-12mins. It's AMAZING.

 

[NZSharlie]

Sorry about your partner, having support at home is so important. I say give him a swift kick in the ass
Actually I agree with the other ladies, talking to him and getting him to understand just how important you need him to be on side.

 

[Becktoria79]

This is sad to hear, I've had a few times in the past where my boyfriend has been a bit unsupportive, buying lots of chocolate whilst I'm trying to be good, but now he's doing the plan and understands how hard it can be, especially of we go to the shops and there's loads of Creme eggs around!

Anyhow back to you. Is there any chance that your partner could be a bit scared about you losing weight? Maybe he is being so unsupportive as he doesn't want you to change and feels a bit insecure about this? You deffo need to talk to him but also make it clear your reasons why you are doing this. I lnow that men often dont really understand why their partners want to lose weight because they love them as they are and i do think sometimes they can't get their heads around the fact its not about them, or any other man for that matter!

Maybe you could ask him to try and give up something for a week or 2 just so he can appreciate how hard it can be.

Good luck with all of this. Hope you get sorted. Xx

 

[8stoneplease]

my boyfriend is generally ok..but my mam is a disaster...i swear she goes into baking mode whenever I'm on a diet..so far this week she has made brownies, madeira cake and buns..wtf! I swear sometimes she doesn't want me to lose weight cause she's on ww too for years and has never really lost it. Like she will buy choc bars and stuff that she doesn't like but knows I will eat, so annoying!

 

[CLH_X3]

My oh is great 80% of the time ... The other 20% he will say stupid stuff like when hea eating a McDonald's and I haven't ....

"baby I'm helping you get some willpower, if you don't eat this then it means your doing well" ... Hmmmm really ... If you wasn't eating it at all I wouldn't have to 'be strong' as he likes to say!

 

[hollyjayneratcliffe]

He's always been big since being 16.
I haven't. I was always thin and this now is the biggest I've ever been.
When we met I was working in his local pub.
I did used to get a lot if attention from the men I was serving (some being 70 and toothless mind lol) and I had a lot of male friends, now I've put my weight on I've gone more shy and changed my attitude conpletely.
Maybe he's just worried he might lose me if I lose my weight.
Then again if he doesn't change soon that's going to happen anyways x