Pass it on!

Discussion in 'Slimming World' started by sugar_lipswales, 18 July 2009 Social URL.

  1. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    My sister's just bought a new pair of jeans and came to me asking if she looked fat, I didn't know what to say because she did look fat. She buys mens clothes because they fit bigger women better and they're a 46 inch waist!

    I hate seeing her uncomfortable with her size, she's the same size I was at the beginning of my journey, and I want to know how I can help her without sounding preachy. She's totally in denial, the jeans will stretch etc How do I pass on my knowledge and kick her into gear? I don't want to be really harsh but I feel I need to do something to help her.
     
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  3. icklerockchick

    icklerockchick slow but steady!

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    if its your sister i say just go for honesty being the best policy!

    its never a nice thing to hear but sometimes people are in denial and hear it. she might hate you at first for it but then realise its for the best when she finds how easy slimming world is.

    its the first diet i have ever tried and stuck with, i think because it doesn't limit your portions like almost EVERY other diet does!

    it won't be easy but go for it and good luck! when the weight falls off her and her confidence improves massively i am sure she will thank you for being the one to bite the bullet and talk to her about it!

    X
     
  4. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    I think if you start it from a position of love, she'll realise that, you know? You love her, you want her to be around enjoying life for as long as possible, so maybe if you approach it from the health angle, and the feeling good angle, rather than the 'fat' angle, that might be the way to go.

    A gentle invitation to try some of your SW meals or join you at a meeting, maybe?

    The thing is, though, you can't do it for someone else however much you love them. She has to be in the right place mentally to *want* to lose that weight and lose it for good. It can take a while for different people to reach that point... I know it's tough, but just offer what support you can and coax her to talk about the issue if you think it's making her unhappy, but I think it's got to be her move to make the step to join you at the end of the day.
     
  5. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    She has said she doesn't think she's reached her 'epiphany' moment yet and I'm wondering what it will take :(
     
  6. kazpeza

    kazpeza Silver Member

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    i personally think if you dont wanna do it ya self then it aint gonna happen,the first time i did ww my husband was boardering 20 stone and he knew he was fat and as much as i encouraged him to eat healthy he wasnt ready,a few years later i did sw and i didnt make him do it he decided one day that he wasnt happy with who he was and has stuck to it ever since and is a slim 13.5 stone now so unless she is ready i dont think its gonna happen she has to want to do it for herself
     
  7. Iris

    Iris Full Member

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    Ouch, that's tough... I don't know what I'd say. I guess if you wanted to jolt her you'd say 'well, don't let that epiphany moment be after your first heart attack,' but that's maybe too viciously direct for comfort.

    Sounds like she wants help but just hasn't reached that tipping point yet where she wants to say goodbye to the old habits. Maybe as she sees your continuing success she'll be more eager to join in? Can't rush it, I guess, if you start off halfheartedly, you'll never stick to it. She's got to be in it for life.
     
  8. Bellybee

    Bellybee Silver Member

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    Speaking as someone incredibly overweight myself I think you just have to let her do it in her own time.
    My mum pulled me up about my weight a few times and my husband but all it did was make me really unhappy and think they did not love me.
    Nobody else can make the decision to slim for you, you make it yourself and yes when you do you wonder why you left it so long but you really have to be in the right place.
    As my consultant says you have to be mental to do this diet. Ie you have to have right mentality.
    All I would say is mention that you love SW because you are never hungry and mention a few of the nicer meals you have had.
     
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  9. Chuffy_29

    Chuffy_29 Bring it on!

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    If her hearts not in it she'll not stay with it. It is hard and there is usually an epiphany moment of some description. I had mine after i had my baby, and i plan to stick this time. I've lost weight in the past (with lighter life) and then gone mental after. This time i want to do it for life and for all my family.
    She'll do it when, and if she's ready. You can always big up SW when you're around her, and if she sees the yummy stuff you can have it might just spur her in to it?
     
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  10. GymClassHero

    GymClassHero Silver Member

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    I think you should stop for a moment and think about how you would feel if someone a couple of stones lighter than you made the same comment to you?

    Think about the impact it would have on you if someone made a fat jibe about you. Would this drive you to loose weight or could it possibly drive you to eat more?

    Do you know if your sister is doing anything about her weight and she is not discussing it with you?

    I just think you should consider her feelings firstly before you start dragging her to SW or being harsh. She will do it in her own time and sometimes pushing people or trying to force them can have the opposite effect.
     
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  11. sugar_lipswales

    sugar_lipswales Silver Member

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    Actually GymClassHero, it was just something like that that forced me to face up to the fact that I was not happy and I had to do something about it. Oh God yes, it stings like hell and there were lots of tears but it also brought out a sense of determination in me I didn't know I had. I think I will just keep my big ol' mouth shut until she comes to me, the last thing I want to do is hurt her when she's obviously feeling so down as it is.
     
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