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people - funny creatures

Jayellekay

this time - the last time
#1
So I started my journey back in January. (well Ive been on a diet journey since the age of 10, but this successful leg of the journey started at the beginning of the year).

When I lost the first batch of weight (almost 4stone) people initially congratulated me in droves. There were the mandatory few "how long will you keep this up for" challengers.
Then (still weighing in at obese) I had a couple of "dont lose too much" worriers.
Then I maintained for a few months, where I met some "dont go back to your old ways" threateners.
When I restarted last month I was approached by a couple of congratulators.
I now mostly deal with blinkers. (by this I mean the same people who were congratulating me at the beginning of the year, stare at me, eyebrows raised, blatantly give me the once over, and say nothing!)

I find it fascinating. I am doing this for me. And don't expect (and actually find it difficult) to hear compliments.

I noticed this all today, as I look like sh*t today. I've got cold, Ive had a tooth out, my face is bruised and swollen and I got caught in the rain so my hair is HUGE! I'm wearing my glasses cause my contacts can't cope with my streaming eyes.
I've had 2 people say to me today "you look great today - more like your old self".
Funny how some people will only 'congratulate' me when I look like sh*t! Think it says a lot about people!
Do you think some people expect us to stay in the "fat" box forever. Any attempts to get out and we have to deal with weird behaviour! People are funny!
The thing that really makes me laugh - is I don't think I look good yet (better but not good). Just wait another 3stone! Then there will be something to be jealous of! Hehe!

Anyone else dealt with reactions they weren't expecting?
People can be funny!
 
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#2
yeah - the "don't lose too much!" brigade are generally jealous, i think. they like where you sit in the order of things and they don't want to feel challenged. Not had it yet, of course - but i expect i will. fortunately most people know i'm doing this to be eligible for IVF, so they know i have to keep going.
 
#3
I'm still in the obese category myself. Whenever I tell people I have another 3 stone to lose to just be healthy I get the "you don't need to lose 3 stone!"/"You're fine the way you are"/"don't lose too much" brigade come out. I've not had too many naysayers, thankfully. The odd person feigning concern for my health now and then, but that's about it. Now that I'm a very small size 16 which most people look at these days and consider chunky but "normal" I'm meeting resistance against getting any smaller.
 
#4
Is size 16 not average for us Brits these days?

I'm still obese 1 so whilst i'm feeling so much more normal at a size 14 from some stores, i've got a way long journey to go. I used the spread sheet from sticky above and I don't become 'normal' til 9 stone 7 ish which i think would mean i could wear a 8 in some circumstances. I really, really, really, don't think I could ever maintain that - although in my wildest diet dreams that is exactly where i want to be!

M x
 
#5
my goal is dictated by my doctor, so was fairly arbitrary from my point of view - but even at the top end of 'overweight', it's as small as i'd ever want to be. and funnily enough i used the dukan diet 'true weight' calculator this evening, and that said exactly the same weight (well 1lb more, in fact).

I think 'when to stop' is such a personal thing - it'll be different for everyone.
 

Rolly82

not giving up
#6
I found when I lost 5 stone a couple of years ago on Slimming World that certain "friends" would take it upon themselves to use my weight loss as a topic of conversation at any given chance, this went from support to general *****iness which is a shame really. No one would dare discuss my weight at the biggest but felt it was acceptable to discuss my weight loss at great lengths and give me the "we are worried about you" talk as an excuse to cover snide remarks. I find that compliments don't sit easily with me as I find them embarrassing. This time round on CD I am trying to get my last 3.7 off which just won't shift on SW that I will take each veiled compliment as recognition that I must be doing well. I tend to find the more you lose the more these comments come out. Until I get a one of these "don't lose too much" comments I haven't lost enough as far as I am concerned and use it as my marker :)
 
#7
Is size 16 not average for us Brits these days?
I think either size 14 or 16 is the national average, which I think is why I get the "you don't need to lose weight" type comments.
 
#8
my goal is dictated by my doctor, so was fairly arbitrary from my point of view - but even at the top end of 'overweight', it's as small as i'd ever want to be. and funnily enough i used the dukan diet 'true weight' calculator this evening, and that said exactly the same weight (well 1lb more, in fact).

Hi Spangles,

Do you have a link to the dukan true weight calculater?

Thanks
 
#9

Jayellekay

this time - the last time
#10
I found it on here:

http://www.dukandiet.co.uk

My true weight is 10st 3lb. Very interesting. Before reviewing my BMI - I always thought 10st would be right. I'll be interested to get down to this weight and see how I feel!
 
#11
BMI is such an inexact thing. No allowance for build, age or musculature (not that i'm heavy framed or muscley, but I do have disproportionate and very heavy boobs). If this weren't a diet for medical (and thus BMI) goals, i would disregard it entirely.
 
#12
Thank you for posting the link. I've just added my details and got my 'true weight'. This is actually 16lbs heavier than my ideal weight giving me a BMI of 25.6....... really interesting!

I found it on here:

Official UK Dukan Diet website: Diets for Quick Weight Loss, Diet menus to help you lose weight

My true weight is 10st 3lb. Very interesting. Before reviewing my BMI - I always thought 10st would be right. I'll be interested to get down to this weight and see how I feel!
Same here, it would be great to see how I feel once I get to my 'true weight'.
 

Jayellekay

this time - the last time
#13
spangles said:
BMI is such an inexact thing. No allowance for build, age or musculature (not that i'm heavy framed or muscley, but I do have disproportionate and very heavy boobs). If this weren't a diet for medical (and thus BMI) goals, i would disregard it entirely.
Agreed - my boobs are heavy! (though prob not quite as heavy as yours!)
I'll know I'm at goal - when I get there.
But whilst its still a planned number - it almost seems like cheating not to go down to BMI 25, when my goal is to be healthier!
Stupid calculation!
 

.Nicki.

Minimin Addict
#14
It says my ideal weight is 13stone, which i think i'd be quite happy with but its still classed as overweight so i wouldn't qualify for fertility treatment. I'd love to get to 10stone but i'm not sure i'd be able to sustain it.
 
#15
Nicki - have you been told you have to get below BMI 25 for fertilty treatment then? i was told BMI 30, but that was a while ago - maybe it's changed... :eek:
 

.Nicki.

Minimin Addict
#16
I was told i had to be in the healthy category which is anything under 11st 2 for me but my pct seems to have ridiculously strict criteria for everything so i wouldn't worry to much x
 

Jayellekay

this time - the last time
#17
.Nicki. said:
It says my ideal weight is 13stone, which i think i'd be quite happy with but its still classed as overweight so i wouldn't qualify for fertility treatment. I'd love to get to 10stone but i'm not sure i'd be able to sustain it.
Im a short ar*e - so 10st is 'heavy' for me! My bmi 25 is 9st 2lb!
 
#19
Spangles & Nicki,

When are you hoping to start TTC? I'm losing weight so that I can start TTC as well.... although I'm not dictated by getting my BMI to a certain number as i'm not going through the IVF route.

Hope that we can all get to a healthy weight soon x
 
#20
we've been trying for over two years. I paid for some fertility tests earlier this year (wasn't even allowed to have ultrasound by my PCT unil i get below BMI 30!) and a LOT of money (and an agonisingly painful HyCoSy) later I discovered that I have one entirely knackered fallopian tube, and possible damage in the other. Which puts us squarely back at the door of IVF.

NICE guidelines say that PCTs should give couples 3 cycles of IVF, but mine is miserly and only gives one. After that, we have to pay (about £4000 a pop). I'll be 38 in January, and the PCT guidelines say you can only have IVF before your 40th birthday, so hoping against hope that the waiting list isn't too long. If it takes it, we'll have three cycles - if you haven't conceived after that, it's very unlikely that you will, apparently.

This link takes you to a whizzy interactive map, where you can find out exactly the criteria that apply in your PCT. I hope the rest of you TTC-ers don't live (as we do) in London. London seems to have the meanest IVF provision. :(
 


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