Personal Goals.

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by fatisnofun, 25 October 2009 Social URL.

  1. fatisnofun

    fatisnofun Full Member

    This might seem unrelated at first to lipotrim and losing weight...but for me its all tied in.

    I tend to avoid the hard stuff...I have avoided losing weight for a long time, now I can no longer avoid it as its effecting my health as well as my confidence.

    I used to like going out with friends, dancing, playing sports, but being overweight makes me shy and scared. When I go out and meet my OH's friends and family, even though they have all been lovely, I feel that all they can see is my body. I find it hard to grasp why my super-healthy OH loves me (low self-esteem) and anytime I'm out with friends in pubs and clubs I DON'T get up to dance as I feel everyone will look at me and say "Look at the chubby girl making a fool of herself" isn't that just awful? I have two sisters who are a lot more overweight than I am, but it doesn't seem to effect their confidence, they don't seem to care what anyone else thinks.

    So its not just for health reasons I'm doing this, its for confidence.

    I have two essays to finish for college this weekend, I've spent the whole weekend indoors, phone switched off writing and researching away...that may not seem related to losing weight...but to me its another step on my journey of self improvement. I want to be a "doer" I want to be someone who takes action when its needed. I don't want to be someone who says "I'll do it later" and then leaves it until its too late.

    I also smoke, I've been a smoker on and off the past 15 years...this is also something I want to might seem to some like I'm taking on too much...but I've GOT to change my lifestyle patterns NOW.

    Anyway, sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get all that off my chest and wondered if anyone else here like me struggles to take action when its needed and prefers to "Do it later" :rolleyes:
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  3. jenny_belte

    jenny_belte Silver Member

    hey hun, might be a good idea to write all ur goals in ur signature like i have, tick them off when complete. kinda keeps me motivated.
    my hubby is also insecure and asks me all the time why am i with him? i think hes crazy. love him to bits. hopefully with ur weight loss with come confidence and no more insecurities.
    good luck with getting to goal and with the other things u want to tackle.

    x x
  4. anne-mariep

    anne-mariep Silver Member

    Hun im exactly the same i always felt dat i wasnt worth it and I was always talking bout doin things but never done anything. I decided lipotrim was the first step. What made me decide was breaking up with my ex it pushed me to see Im my own worst enemy.

    After 8 weeks on lipotrim im so motivated to fix everything in my life dat i dont like my confidence hasnt come back yet but i know its getting better as ive realised why i do tings in the past like compromise on everything an try make others feel better an not myself.

    You will learn so much on this diet its worth it for me not only coz im losing weight but its making me aware of why i done stupid tings like compromising i never want to compromise for something thats dat good for me again.

    Well done on being brave enough to tell your story. And good luck with your essays.
  5. Cookeh

    Cookeh Recovering Cookie Addict

    I too can totally relate. I'm not in a good place with my relationship and I know that to end it would be the best thing in my case as things have just moved beyond the point of reconciliation. I am miserable where I am yet I'm held back by my weight, who'd want me the size I am now? How could I get a job and make new friends, who'd want to know, never mind *love*, the fat woman? I've felt this way about myself for more years than I can remember and it took a battle with cancer for me to realise that I needed to change my life, yet for some reason it was not enough to motivate me to lose the weight.

    I have a friend overseas who has never seen a picture of me. Weight/image has never come up in conversation and I can truly say he is the only person I can be 100% *me* with, and I realise when I spend time with him just how much I'm missing out on life because of my weight and my zero self esteem. I was thinking about it a lot lately and I realised that life is too short to not live the life you truly want. The only way *I* can have that life, and *always* be 100% me, is if I get rid of the one thing that's always held me back, my weight.

    I think it's fantastic that you have decided to grab life with both hands and take charge. Starting LT and locking yourself away to deal with uni work is just the first step in achieving your goals. If you want to give up smoking at the same time then kudos to you, I think only you know how much you can or cannot deal with at any one time. If there's one thing I realise now more than anything it's that you need to have a strong enough motivating factor to keep you going when it gets tough, and what could be more motivating than knowing success will give you the confidence to be everything, and do anything, you always wanted?

    Best of luck to you FINF, we can do this, we WILL do this! ^.^
  6. fatisnofun

    fatisnofun Full Member

    Thank you all for the encouragement!

    Cookeh...I was in a dreadful relationship for 3 the time everyone used to say leave him, but of course, I had to figure it out myself, so I'm not going to be saying the same to you...its easier said than done, especially when there are kids involved...but if its something you think you should do, then plan carefully and take your time.

    for 5 years I didn't go next or near another long term relationship...I was afraid of them! There were a few guys I dated but I never wanted anything serious. I met my fella when I started a new job a couple of years ago, we started out as friends and that was all it was for a few months...we got closer and closer, he is involved in the Buddhist community here in Dublin and through him I've also become involved and I love it. He has just started his first year of a counselling degree which I have just we have a lot of interest in common...but more than that, he's just a fantastic person. It took a while for me to trust again and to really let myself go in the relationship. I swore I'd never say "I love you" again to someone...but after he told me how he felt about me and how he loved me, I found myself saying it again...this time without any fear of rejection.

    I honestly didn't mind being single for the rest of my life...and I think maybe I had to get to that stage before I'd let anyone in again.

    I know that if my relationship ends tomorrow I'll be upset yes, but I was single before and happy and I can be single again and happy...I think a lot of the time in the past I stayed in relationships simply because I was afraid of being single...well feck that, now I know better!
  7. anne-mariep

    anne-mariep Silver Member

    Thank you so much for sharing that with us it nearly made me cry coz you sound so so happy! congrats on finding such a lovely person!
  8. jane5

    jane5 Full Member

    cookeh, that post was very emotional. I hope your battle with cancer is being won and i really hope that when you start losing weight you will be strong enough to sort out your relationship problems.

    Nobody should stay in a bad relationship but only you will know when you are strong enough to confront the issues, hopefully you will get stronger with every pound lost and maybe as your self esteem rises, your relationship may improve

    I' just started today so i will be watching to see how you r getting on, good luck xxx

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