Please help me! I'm begging ya!

[366to266]

If anyone here knows how I can lose weight please please help me, I am a begging ya!

Me: 360+ pounds, BMI 56

Emotional eater, habitual overeater, carb craver, hypoglycemic, out of control, no dscipline, no willpower.

Tried a thousand diets, cannot keep to them. If it's Atkins I eat carbs, if it's lowfat I eat fat.

My next crazy idea is to live on Cup-a-Soups, into which I will put chopped cooked chicken for protein. The reason for this choice is to restrict my portions.

As each cup a soup is about 60 calories, I can have up to ten a day, and with the chicken that takes me to about 1,000 calories. I'll also take vitamins and lots of fruit tea and water.

I'm not saying this is for life, but I am utterly, utterly desperate and I must lose about 5 stone in the next 5 months because I am booked and paid to do something and I need to lose 5 stone or face utter humiliation because I won't fit into something.

If anyone can think of a better way for someone with no will power or self control to lose 5 stone in 5 months please please tell me.

Thank you. Please reply!

 

[millux]

If anyone can think of a better way for someone with no will power or self control to lose 5 stone in 5 months please please tell me.

The problem is, for any diet or healthy eating/lifestyle plan you have to have willpower & self-control. There's no easy way to lose 5st, so doing it without self control & willpower is impossible. You can lose 1 stone a month (or more if you're male/larger) with TFR diets like Cambridge & Lighterlife, ect. BUT they do require motivation. Do you really think that you will stick to this cup-a-soup thing? It'll do you more damage than good, cup-a-soups are practically all artifical, I know from experience that if you do decide do have cup-a-soups every day (and lots at that) you will feel truly AWFUL & probably end binging or something anyway. If you want/need to lose weight, then you need to get motivated & understand that you need to put work in if you want to lose it. Just look around this website, there are so many amazing people who have lost tonnes of weight, but we all have our struggles & it's not easy. You need to be in the right state of mind & control yourself if you really want to lose weight. Please don't take drastic measures, think about Lighter Life or something like that. This will take you away from conventional food entirely, I'm on Exante which is similar & after a few weeks as an emotional eater (& after a few slip-ups) I have overcome it. I no longer overeat or rely on food for emotional comfort, I feel free. But it takes work, a lot of work & a lot of strength. Only YOU can change how you think & how you view food. So if you TRULY want to lose weight - you'll have to get inspired & kick yourself a little, push yourself, get motivated, control yourself & you will lose weight. Don't push yourself - & won't lose weight. If you really feel like you need help, then talk to your doctor who can put you in touch with a dietician & help you work on things. But honestly, just browse the forums, get inspired. So many people have done amazingly, but it takes work. Good luck.

 

[366to266]

Thanks so much! A response already. I've been trying to diet 33 yrs, seen doctors, dieticians, nutritionists, counsellors, an endocrinologist, my GP is very fat himself (though only in the stomach) and last time I saw him he laughed and said if I ever found anything that works will I share it with him? The other GP has offered me bariatric surgery free on the NHS. But first I have to lose 36lb (10%) or they won't even interview me. If I could lose 36lb then I could probably lose 200lb so that is really stupid in my eyes.

I've read hundreds of forums and success stories, tried Cambridge, Atkins, WW, vegetarianism. It''s all hopeless. Some days I have even started to feel suicidal. I have huge amounts of willpower and determination when I wake up, embarking on a new regime, but at some point it all goes, maybe at 12noon, or at 4pm, but it always goes. Then I start eating what I shouldn't. Either eat tomorrow's food (ie if its in the fridge or freezer) or else run off on impulse to the sweetshop just 5 doors from my house and buy crisps, chocolate. It's like being taken over by a devil or something inside me, maybe I need an exorcist?

Isn't LighterLife just like Cambridge? I fainted after 48 hours on C because I am hypoglycaemic and the shakes were all sugar/sweetener.

 

[millux]

How awful, I'm sorry to hear that. >: Lighterlife is basically cambridge but also has councelling/therapy for problem eaters, which I think makes a big, big difference. I think Exante might be worth a try then? The shakes are unsweetened & free from aspartame & all that horrible stuff. You'll feel terrible for the first week or two due to carb/caffiene/etc withdrawals but I think it could do you good if you could stick to it. Even if it's just so show yourself that you CAN control yourself & you don't need to give in to the cravings/needs for food. I don't know, it might help give you a kick-start, even? I guess only you will know yourself for sure. You could even do what you were going to do with the cup-a-soups but with the Exante soups instead, since they are nutritionally complete & 100% better for you. You could have a healthy meal of chicken/turkey at the end of the day if you think you could control yourself enough? Do you have friends/family for support? I couldn't have done this without the help of my partner so I think support is really important when it comes down to these things. If you have someone to stop you going to the shop & overeating it could help immensly, maybe? Sorry I can't really help but I genuinely wish you the best of luck!

 

[366to266]

Thanks Millux. No, I live alone and worst of all I work from home so have unrestricted access 24/7 to the fridge, larder, and sweetshop. So, nobody to stop me going to the shop or overeating. I don't overeat in front of other people. I have moral support from boyfriends, female friends of course but from afar.

I see what you mean about using the Exante or Cambridge soups instead of yukky cup-a-soups but wow they are expensive (not that I am hard up at all but no point wasting money if you can make it yourself at home!)

My idea about Cup a soup is that it is portion and calorie controlled. And it's not a disaster if I have one more or two more than planned as they are all under 100 cals. But yeah I know it's junk food really.

So, what if I MADE a soup myself and added chopped lean chicken breast or roast pork, and had that 3 or 4 times a day? Plus vitamin pills of course. I found a recipe on the net here it is. Pls let me know what you think... ta v much. xx

Makes 28 portions (I would freeze it in boxes or bags etc)

• 1 pound(s) carrots, sliced
• 3 medium (1 1/2 pounds) onions, chopped
• 4 stalk(s) celery, sliced
• 2 large cloves garlic, crushed with press
• 2 can(s) (28 ounces each) whole tomatoes in juice
• 1/2 small (1-pound) head green cabbage, thinly sliced
• 3/4 pound(s) green beans, trimmed and each cut into thirds
• 1 can(s) (48-ounce) chicken broth
• 6 cup(s) water
• 1 teaspoon(s) salt
• 1/4 teaspoon(s) ground black pepper
• 3 medium (1 1/4 pounds) zucchini, sliced into half-moons
• 2 bag(s) (6 ounces each) baby spinach leave

 

[millux]

Well, I'm no expert but I think that could work!
But yeah, make sure you get reeeally good quality vitamins & definitely put the chicken in there for sure.
Good luck!

 

[miffypie]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so desperate, it must be very hard for you.

If as you say, you lack willpower and self-discipline, I feel that living on soup day in day out would be enough to drive anyone to distraction. Surely after a couple of days of that you'd be wanting the treats and nice food again - I know I would.

Like others have said, you have to think of exactly why you want this - create some motivation from somewhere, to lose weight successfully you have to really want it and really mean it. There really is no quick fix, but there are things that can be immensely successful given that motivation and willpower.

If there was a magic diet that required no willpower, I'd reckon we'd all be on it, but alas. Try to make a list of why you want to lose the weight and focus on that reason.

Hope you find your solution - good luck x

 

[366to266]

Cheers Sarah.

One reason for thinking soup would be good is, if I can keep to, say 100 to 1500 calories a day, then IF or WHEN I weaken and run to the shop and buy a bar of chocolate, it won't be the end of the world. It would just add whatever calories are in the choclate to my daily calorie intake, taking it up to, say, 1500 or 1800, still enough to lose weight?

Here is my list in order of most importance to me:

Walk upstairs/uphill easier
Walking in not temperatures easier
Better sex (more positions possible)
Body would look better if less flabby and bulgy
Climb up ladders, stiles, etc
Car seatbelts would fit me
More comfy on a plane
Easier to swim lengths
Less strain on heart etc
Longer life?


I've been on Exante website and also read their 20 page PDF brochure and NOWHERE does it list the ingredients! How annoying!

 

[soccermom]

The trouble is you sound like you are panicing if you dont mind me saying, i was exactly the same.

If you are that desperate to lose that amount of weight in 5 months it can be done but it will take a lot of hard work and will power.

I have lost 4 1/2 stone in 6 months with sw and thats with a month of, there is also someone else who is losing at a rate of 1 stone a month on the same plan.

As mentioned one of the liquid diets will work on my first WI I lost a stone in the first week, but I hated evey minute of it and it made me ill, but they do work for others.

You have to pick a plan and stick with it and calmly take one day at a time, do not panic.

If you cant do 5 stone in 5 months its not the end of the world if you only lose 4 is it? At least you are doing something to make yourself healthy for the future.

Think of all the exciting things you can do when the weight is gone and try not to rely on one event in 5 months time.

Relax and you can do it, your head needs to be in the right place to do this it cant just be a short term thing, its a life time committment.

good luck x

 

[366to266]

Kaye - thanks and CONGRATS on your weight loss.

Kaye I would be over the moon to lose 4st if my goal was 5st.

I wonder what SW is - slimming world?

Anything that leaves it up to ME to restrict portions just isn't going to work. (Sometimes I think I need to be locked up in a lab for a year!)

That's what made me think of the soup: if I have three or four instead of one it won't make a whole lotta difference. At the moment I am trying to stick to Atkins but it is hopless as I am eating a pound of sausages instead of 2 sausages, or I am eating eight chicken thighs when I am only supposed to have 2. Or I have two pork chops in the fridge, cook one, eat it, then go straight back and cook the other one, which was meant for the next meal! And then to compound it all I run to the shop and buy a giant bar of Milka Swiss chocolate (I don't eat any old rubbish, only the best!) and of course that ruins Atkins!

I wish someone would come and take care of me, lock me in a cage and feed me lettuce or something! I don't feel fit to be in charge of me.

How DO morbidly obese people get control? I mean, they must have been OUT of control and overeating and weak willed to get so obese in the first place! How do they switch off that overeating thing and switch on self respect, self discipline and control? I am so desperate to know.

Just 6 weeks ago I fell in love with the most wonderful man I have ever known. We want to be together the rest of our lives. I have never been happier in all my 52 years.

I genuinely believed that this amazing new relationship would give me all the motivation that I need. I even said to myself, "If you really really love him, you will not go to the shop and not eat chocolate." But I DID have the chocolate, and I sobbed afterwards - maybe my love ain't that strong after all? It was childish and silly of me. He loves me as I am, but also wants me to lose weight as I cannot get the seat belt done up on the car, cannot go for long country walks, and cannot share his hobbies as I physically cannot shift my body where it needs to be.

 

[miffypie]

Oh bless you, please don't even question you rlove for him becasue you can't resist food?! That's just silly! I've bargained with myself so many times, saying things like "do it for your husband/baby" and then hating myself and feeling like such a disappointment when I've failed - again.

Food and eating is such a complicated thing, it means much more than just fuel to a lot of people, I eat when I'm happy, sad, angry, bored, tired, celebrating - all the time!

You just have to find something inside of you that gives you that kick to start. ANd most of all, keep believing in yourself. Or start believing now! Don't berate yourself, say positive things to yourself all the time - you can do it, you can do it!

 

[366to266]

Hello Sarah, yes I did realise how silly that was afterwards.

Like you I eat when happy as well as sad. In fact since falling unexpectedly in love my appetite for chocolate has gone through the roof!

I understand the mentality of thinking positively. Unfortunately when I say these things to myself a voice comes back saying "You've embarked on 'you-can-do-it' diets a thousand times before and failed. You'll fail again, so don't even bother trying."

If ONLY I could wipe the memory of all my previous failures from my brain (like we can wipe the PC's hard-drive!) then I could really believe in myself.

I DO so want to be a better companion for him - a superfit muscular man of merely TEN stone. I also feel horrible when I am with him because people can see I am nearly three times his weight and it doesn't seem quite right for a woman to be so much bigger than her man -- looks like he is a wimp and she a dominatrix. In fact he is the boss and that is the way I like it!

 

[Mollysmum]

Hello, Right OK I lost 5 and a half stone in 3 months with lighterlife. It is totally possible but you wont last a day if you arnt fully determined and committed.
Then getting pregnant with my son saw me gain all that weight again and an extra 3lbs for good measure. I have lost 4 and a half stone with weight watchers since January. Again it has taken control and determination. Aside from the pregnancy my original weight problem (BMI 42) was due to me having some serious phsycological issues with food. I conquered them however which is why I have dropped the weight again so quickly.

I really think from reading your posts that you are in denial. Please dont take me the wrong way I am not trying to be nasty.
The reason I say this is because you are looking for a quick fix (cup a soups) just like I did with lighterlife. But you have already pencilled in all the failings...if I have chocolate or many more soups etc its like you are expecting to fail so you prove yourself right when you do. A vicious circle.
My honest opinion (you mentioned not being completely strapped for cash) and looking and your health and future happiness the I would strongly advise seeking some councelling and CBT therapy. You need to change your problems with food.
Imagine someone had a pill that would disolve the weight overnight, you would just pile it all back on! You need to mentally reprogramme yourself into behaving and living as a healthy person, the weightloss will follow.

 

[366to266]

Don't worry Mollysmum I don't get offended easily. Say what is in your heart it can only help. Your story is extraordinary.

As for me, I had therapy for 13 months (cost thousands) and at the end I was still eating chocolate. The therapist herself gave up on me, told me not to come any more until I was successfully dieting. But if I WAS successful in dieting, then I wouldn't have needed to see her anyway.

So yes, I can afford to pay for Lighterlife or Cambridge or even counselling, but my money was "hard-earned" by me and so naturally I'm not going to waste it on something that does not work. If there was a pill guaranteed to make me wake up tomorrow with a perfect figure I'd pay ten grand for it. No, twenty. LOL

I think your use of the word "denial" is incorrect. A person in denial is one who says "I don't overeat, I keep to my diet and still I don't lose weight." I am not denying anything: I own up to everything: overeating, caving in to cravings, being an out of control pig with no self respect etc. I admit everything - where's the denial?

Now, my question is, where did you get that control and determination? When you have a craving so strong that you think you will go crazy if you don't get a fix of XYZ, how do you overcome it? If I knew that I think I could be a successful dieter.

For example right this second I have a huge craving to go out and buy a bar of Milka chocolate. 533 calories and 58g of carbs (as I am on atkins I should not have this!)

The shop closes in 1hr and 15 minutes. I feel the urge getting stronger and stronger in me as the minutes pass. I know I have a time limit, I have to make up my mind soon. How do I change myself from going to buy it, to not going to buy it?

 

[366to266]

Phew!

Well I did it!

Yes I actually got through a whole day without chocolate!

Wow.

 

[IanH]

Well done on that day without chocolate. May it be the first of many.

I've read through your posts and have to ask - Why? Why are you wanting to loose weight? In fact the question should be Who are you loosing weight for? deep down - is it for you, or is it for someone else?

If it is, truly and honestly, for you, and the motivation is there, then you can make the changes needed to get to where you want when you are ready to make them.

I was over 27.5stone when i started this journey. I spent 2 months before walking through my local Slimming World groups doors getting myself mentally ready and making the changes in order to make the initial impact less drastic - i stocked up, and slowly prepared myself for the move away from take aways to cooking healthily. and this time, against all the other times i've tried to manage my weight, i'm truly doing it for me. not because someone urged me to, or to honour the last wishes of my father (and i'm afraid that part of the journey is true - his last piece of fatherly advice was to loose weight) - but for me, me, me, ME. I want to do this. I need ME to do this. Anyone else but ME doesn't matter. If i honour his wish in the process then so be it - but that is not the driver, and to be honest - it's not even a consideration in this. This is about ME ME ME.

That first walk through the doors was in December 2008. I now weight 14stone - and over 13.5stone gone. I lost a stone in the first month and apart from changing what I ate, i don't recall changing how much i ate - there was no portion control - not to start with. I lost a stone in my first week, i had lost the second stone at the end of the first month, and proceeded to loose a stone a month for the next 5 or so months.

To go from the outer extremes of weights down to "normal" (whatever that may mean) is a tough journey - don't get me wrong. But there are so many discoveries to make along the way. I have kept a blog (there's a link in my signature space) done at various parts of my journey - documenting the little things I've learnt about myself along the way - or just the bits that i can now do that i couldn't do before. Maybe start one of your own? Make a note of each new discovery as you discover it - climbing the flight of stairs at home without being out of breath. being able to bring the car seat one notch further forward. dropping a clothes size. Write it down, write down how you feel about that discovery, write down the next mini-challenge and what you want to look forward to next. If you've had a tough time - write that down too and what you did to overcome it.

But don't just write it down - read it back every so often - especially when you're struggling.

Set yourself min-targets - you mention something about 5stone in 5 months - it's doable certainly. Is there something in 5 months time you want to loose the weight for? If so - keep that in mind (my initial challenge/target was to get below 20st for a wedding in August 09). But keep the mini-targets realistic. And don't consider not meeting one of them as a failure - providing you've done your best and have gotten somewhere near - then that's perfectly good enough.

Good luck...


.

 

[Lucky Cat]

The bottom line is you have to want to do this for YOU. It's no good wanting to do it for anyone else as it simply won't work.

There's no secret to it but you need willpower. It's like giving up smoking/drugs/any bad habit - you can only do it with the help of a shedload of willpower!! Nobody here can wave a magic wand or give you the discipline and motivation to do this - that has to come from you.

Is this event that you need to lose 5 stone for not motivation enough for you to stop going to the sweet shop?? If it's not, then you need to find something to motivate you.

As for the idea of living on soup!! Well, let's just say that I couldn't do it! What about eating loads of fruit and veg? That way you'd feel full and still not be consuming a vast number of calories.

You've clearly developed some very destructive bad habits and you need to break the cycle in order to move forward. It's like going cold turkey I guess. The first week is pretty damned hard when all you want to do is reach for the chocolate biscuits, but you'll find that once the habit is broken it really isn't so difficult at all. When you feel the weight coming off too and feel better for it, that will spur you on.

 

[Starlight]

A cup a soup diet?? NO NO NO NO NO

Dont even consider it. Its unhealthy and downright dangerous. You wont be on nearly enough calories a day, assuming you dont collapse youll probably put your body into starvation and then youll lose nothing!!!

If you think you could really live on soupe then PLEASE PLEASE consider CD, LL, or LT. It doesnt have to be all shakes but please dont risk your health on some craxy made up diet - its not worth it

 

[Lovely_Laura]

I am eating eight chicken thighs when I am only supposed to have 2. Or I have two pork chops in the fridge, cook one, eat it, then go straight back and cook the other one, which was meant for the next meal! .......

I wish someone would come and take care of me, lock me in a cage and feed me lettuce or something! I don't feel fit to be in charge of me......

All of that^^ I completely and utterly understand. I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in these thoughts. All of us on here have problems with food or we wouldn't be here. It can be done though so be calm.

I started at 33 stone, so disgusted with myself that it completely overwhelmed me. I couldn't see anyway out of the life I'd made for myself and I just knew I would be one of those people who's house had to be demolished to get me out once I'd died in bed. No matter how much I wanted to lose weight and there are so many reasons I can't list them all but my children were the biggest, I wrote letters to them to be opened when I was dead, sounds awful but I was convinced there was no other future. I wanted someone to lock me away and feed me only what I could have. Being totally honest I wished I could be sectioned just so I had no control over what happened to me. I know it sounds overly dramatic but I felt like I was sinking. I had no life, disabled because of my weight I couldn't walk for more than a couple of minutes and couldn't breath properly if I just had to walk around the supermarket. I'm crying as I write this because it's so dreadful to voice my thoughts and think people will laugh at me but I'm just being completely honest.

It's only been a couple of months and I obviously still have an enormous amount of weight to lose but even these 3 stone have made it easier. No, I can't yet do all the things I'd love to but I know that it will happen because I've some how found the determination to do it. If we knew what gave us the 'lightbulb' moment we'd be rich, it's different for everyone. Mine was being in hospital, I needed an operation on my foot and was more terrified than I've ever been because I knew the GA could kill me. I was very lucky that they managed to do a spinal so I didn't have to go through it but it was enough for me to send me over the edge. I couldn't go on as I was, it took me over 2 months to decide what to do and I joined slimming world like a few people who have replied. I'm not saying it's the perfect diet, we all have our own opinions about what's best for us but it's working wonderfully for me. I've lasted on the diet far longer than ever before. Will this tiny amount of willpower I've somehow discovered last? I don't know and it's scary to think it might not so I am doing everything I can to lose weight now while I have it.

You have to want it for you, you have a wonderful new man who you say loves you regardless of the way you feel about yourself but you can't use him as the reason to lose weight. You can only do it for you. Yes it will happily effect others around you but you must need it.

Anyway, after all this waffling I just wanted to assure you that you aren't alone, we understand your desperation but know that there are ways to help. Have a look at some diets (cupasoup won't work or be healthy, you'll crack oneday and gorge and feel worse I think) there are diets out there where you can eat 8 chicken thighs if you feel the need, you can eat the foods you love. Rather than worrying about portion size some diets work without that control. In the long run you might find your portion control improves but don't take everything on all at once.

 

[Tamzy1989]

hi hun, could you not try counting calorie and give yourself 1500 or so per day and see how you get on, theirs a lovely bunch over their ( me aswell) and you'll get so much support.

goodluck xx