Amonius
Full Member
hey all,
be prepared this is going to be a rant.....I slipped up again yesterday. Things just don't seem to be going well, I had the fire incident which shuck me up, now my father is very very sick, my mother who is a chronic alcoholic (she nearly died from the drink about a year ago) is back to drinking and vomiting and hurling abuse at me over the phone, my sister is having to go to rehab and my partner is struggling with depression and is constantly snapping and sniping at me. I want to do this and yet again I am starting again today, I am really starting to think that God just wants me to eat myself to death whilst watching those I love around me fall apart whilst they shout at me to sort their lives out for them. The whole reason I started this programme is because a had a breakdown a few years back, and after loosing 10 stone in uni put all the weight back on due to medication and stress; now I have finally been able to get a much prized place on a MA degree course for social work and need/want to loose the weight so I am healthier and better equipped to help people in the world. So..............Ill get back on my horse and start again today, get on the exercise bike and try to burn of yesterdays binge..........but I am really starting to wonder if there really is a point in bothering at all....maybe I should just quit the idea of going back to uni, order 50 buckets of KFC and see if I can eat enough fried chicken so my stomach bursts and I die, or my heart. I dont know, feeling so down....rant over, much love to you all x :wave_cry:
be prepared this is going to be a rant.....I slipped up again yesterday. Things just don't seem to be going well, I had the fire incident which shuck me up, now my father is very very sick, my mother who is a chronic alcoholic (she nearly died from the drink about a year ago) is back to drinking and vomiting and hurling abuse at me over the phone, my sister is having to go to rehab and my partner is struggling with depression and is constantly snapping and sniping at me. I want to do this and yet again I am starting again today, I am really starting to think that God just wants me to eat myself to death whilst watching those I love around me fall apart whilst they shout at me to sort their lives out for them. The whole reason I started this programme is because a had a breakdown a few years back, and after loosing 10 stone in uni put all the weight back on due to medication and stress; now I have finally been able to get a much prized place on a MA degree course for social work and need/want to loose the weight so I am healthier and better equipped to help people in the world. So..............Ill get back on my horse and start again today, get on the exercise bike and try to burn of yesterdays binge..........but I am really starting to wonder if there really is a point in bothering at all....maybe I should just quit the idea of going back to uni, order 50 buckets of KFC and see if I can eat enough fried chicken so my stomach bursts and I die, or my heart. I dont know, feeling so down....rant over, much love to you all x :wave_cry: