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Poll: Hard Vs Soft

Which approach do you prefer to receive?

  • Tough love

    Votes: 17 65.4%
  • Soft touch

    Votes: 9 34.6%

  • Total voters
Okay, so here's the deal. Today I was informed that there was a debate going on on here whilst I was away that I should find and read. This thread was Scaz's cheating thread, and I'm sorely disappointed that it was shut before I got a chance to chuck in my 2 cents as I certainly have an opinion on the matter myself but that is neither here nor there as I don't wish to reopen that can of worms.

What I do want to know is...

Do you prefer the tough love approach or the soft touch approach? I'm not talking about which you prefer to dole out or which you think works best - which do you prefer to receive and why? I'm curious as the group seems to be split on this issue.

Me, I'm a tough love gal - Gaz (fattothin) sent me a PM using that approach once and I can honestly say that if he hadn't I don't think I would have stuck to LT back in my first week. For that I thank him. xx

So what about you?
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on the up lol
gotta be ............. Tough luv ;)
being to soft, nah if i was delt that card i would never do nowt, i like to be told straight, and even tell people straight, im harsh lol :p
Defintely tough love, I prefer people to be honest and tell it how it is and vice versa


Is thinking positive!
Tough love for me also, The soft approach for me does not work at all...If I slip up I expect a good hard tough love talking to :D
Tough love for me to but I do like soft every now and then:)


nearly there!! :)
ive not honestly needed either but do no if i do feel free to give me tough love ill appreciate it after lol xxx
I think that each situation needs to be dealt with differently .I do think tough love is a good tool and telling someone that its alright to have cheated at whatever they are attemting to do (give up smoking drugs diet ect )is not the right thing ,but neither is calling them a failiure .
So thats me on the fence on this subject .There is a middle ground somewhere .
I only had 1 tough love response to a thread and have to say my first reaction was anger at them but I went back to re read what I put and there reply and well I went on to lose more than half my body weight so ...
i'm on anti-depressants because i already know i'm the worst excuse for a human being on the planet and a complete waste of good carbon (Shyness and Social Phobia), so softly, softly catchy monkey for me. 'tough-love' only reiterates my knowledge that i don't deserve oxygen...

It is for this reason that I think that sometimes ppl should adapt a more moderate stance. For me its a bit of both. Sometimes I just need to be told to wise up. Other times I need a gentle nudge into thinking properly. Tough Love can be patronising at times as it can usually be platitudes and works under the assumption that the person hasn't thought about things. But I definitely agree that sometimes it necessary.

My prob with Scaz's thread wasn't that he was wrong, it was that it was so generalising. When ppl read threads they automatically look for what is relevant to them in it. Thats human nature. Some ppl were hurt and took it personally -whether that was rational or not isn't the issue.
No, I was counting on the title reeling in those with the dirty minds lol xx
is it just me with the dirty mind?

Its just you. Seek help. ;) ;)

(and dont tell anyone that as I was clicking on it I was already thinking 'Hard of course' lol)
It must be those dreams I'm having because I'm a virgin -I dont even know what else 'hard or soft' could possibly be referring to.

Even though I have two kids ...I rolled over onto a damp patch your honour! (uh-oh is that too much for minis?)


Is thinking positive!


Is thinking positive!
i can't BELIEVE that sentence came from you. OF ALL PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I don't know what you are trying to imply Vickie..But you need sex addiction therapy, You have a problem :D:D

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