Daydreambeliever
Full Member
Today I start again, I lost 3 stone before Christmas, and have gained them all back, plus one and a half more!!!!! I could, yet couldn't believe it when I got on the scales this morning-I have avoided them-such denial! I 'only' went back up the one size that I had lost-but otherwise couldn't tell how much more I had gained.
I am a little weepy at the moment, because I am so sad for myself that I have become this big ( I have a GREAT deal to lose) and this is going to be hard to write-but I have to be accountable-and even if no-one reads this, I have to come here everyday and not fall off the wagon.
I could list all the reasons why I want to lose weight: nice clothes, etc... but the main reason, the bit that makes me weepy, and is hard to write is that my knees and ankles hurt so much. I hurt after walking just a little way, and that is because I have over 10 stone to lose-I am piggy backing a big man... metaphorically!!
I hated writing that-I go through life pretending everything is ok, that my intelligence and charm/niceness is enough and that people should accept me for who I am, not what I look like-which is true-but I need to accept myself too-and that is not an option for me right now.
God-I hope no-one else is reading this-it is so miserable!!! I am actually a happy person-despite the above rambles-I think the scales have knocked me for six...and I am determined to stop lying to myself, so SORRY this diary is going to be full of such tripe!!
I can't wait for the big losses, I really will become hysterical with happiness-it's just a little while off yet.
See you tomorrow. x
I am a little weepy at the moment, because I am so sad for myself that I have become this big ( I have a GREAT deal to lose) and this is going to be hard to write-but I have to be accountable-and even if no-one reads this, I have to come here everyday and not fall off the wagon.
I could list all the reasons why I want to lose weight: nice clothes, etc... but the main reason, the bit that makes me weepy, and is hard to write is that my knees and ankles hurt so much. I hurt after walking just a little way, and that is because I have over 10 stone to lose-I am piggy backing a big man... metaphorically!!
I hated writing that-I go through life pretending everything is ok, that my intelligence and charm/niceness is enough and that people should accept me for who I am, not what I look like-which is true-but I need to accept myself too-and that is not an option for me right now.
God-I hope no-one else is reading this-it is so miserable!!! I am actually a happy person-despite the above rambles-I think the scales have knocked me for six...and I am determined to stop lying to myself, so SORRY this diary is going to be full of such tripe!!
I can't wait for the big losses, I really will become hysterical with happiness-it's just a little while off yet.
See you tomorrow. x
