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Ramblings of a day dream believer.

Discussion in 'CD Weight Loss Diaries' started by Daydreambeliever, 17 May 2010 Social URL.

  1. Daydreambeliever

    Daydreambeliever Full Member

    Posts:
    83
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    23st5lb
    Current Weight:
    21st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st5lb(10.09%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    Today I start again, I lost 3 stone before Christmas, and have gained them all back, plus one and a half more!!!!! I could, yet couldn't believe it when I got on the scales this morning-I have avoided them-such denial! I 'only' went back up the one size that I had lost-but otherwise couldn't tell how much more I had gained.
    I am a little weepy at the moment, because I am so sad for myself that I have become this big ( I have a GREAT deal to lose) and this is going to be hard to write-but I have to be accountable-and even if no-one reads this, I have to come here everyday and not fall off the wagon.
    I could list all the reasons why I want to lose weight: nice clothes, etc... but the main reason, the bit that makes me weepy, and is hard to write is that my knees and ankles hurt so much. I hurt after walking just a little way, and that is because I have over 10 stone to lose-I am piggy backing a big man... metaphorically!!
    I hated writing that-I go through life pretending everything is ok, that my intelligence and charm/niceness is enough and that people should accept me for who I am, not what I look like-which is true-but I need to accept myself too-and that is not an option for me right now.
    God-I hope no-one else is reading this-it is so miserable!!! I am actually a happy person-despite the above rambles-I think the scales have knocked me for six...and I am determined to stop lying to myself, so SORRY this diary is going to be full of such tripe!! :)
    I can't wait for the big losses, I really will become hysterical with happiness-it's just a little while off yet.
    See you tomorrow. x
     
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  3. Daydreambeliever

    Daydreambeliever Full Member

    Posts:
    83
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    23st5lb
    Current Weight:
    21st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st5lb(10.09%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    Yay- I did a whole day yesterday-has taken many many weeks of failed attempts to get to this point!! Feel washed out and sleepy-hopefully this will pass as ketosis kicks in...hope so!!!
     
  4. leeds123

    leeds123 Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,481
    Likes Received:
    22
    hang in there, it will get harder, but then loads easier too!
     
  5. *Shanny*

    *Shanny* Gold Member

    Posts:
    8,481
    Likes Received:
    136
    Good luck x
     
  6. Daydreambeliever

    Daydreambeliever Full Member

    Posts:
    83
    Likes Received:
    1
    Start Weight:
    23st5lb
    Current Weight:
    21st0lb
    Goal Weight:
    10st7lb
    Lost(%):
    2st5lb(10.09%)
    Diet:
    Cambridge Diet
    Wednesday: well I'm nearly there-a few more hours 'til bedtime, and I will have done 3 days!! :) I hope ketosis kicks in properly-am not enjoying the extreme hunger, headache and wooziness-but I hope it will all pass with the magic that is ketosis.
     
  7. MrsN

    MrsN Silver Member

    Posts:
    1,024
    Likes Received:
    149
    Start Weight:
    17st13lb
    Current Weight:
    17st4lb
    Goal Weight:
    9st10lb
    Lost(%):
    0st9lb(3.59%)
    Diet:
    Exante
    HI there - fab that you've got to day 3, I nearly caved on day 2 and have had a blip in week 4 but it'll so be worth it in the long run.
    Good Luck.
     
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