dietgirl24
Full Member
I'd like some constructive feedback on this, thanks! 
(Word Count:404)
***
Sally strode confidently down the street. She kept telling herself that she was "the ****". She caught sight of a handsome guy out of the corner of her eye. He appeared to be lost. He glanced up at her, checking her out. Sally felt flustered but tried to hide it. The last thing she would want is for her cheeks to start blushing in front of this attractive stranger.
Meanwhile, the stranger started walking towards her. He looked her up and down and finally said "have you got the time?" Sally resisted the inclination to laugh. She looked down at her bare, slim wrist and looked him squarely in his blue eyes, saying "no sorry, I don't have a watch".
She continued striding down the street, shopping bag in toe, cornetto in hand; when loe and behind, the man appeared again. He started making chit-chat with her. She wondered whether encounters like this actually happened in real life. Then again, she remembered the old taxi-driver who asked her out at the end of the journey, the old man who walked across the street, picked flowers for her off someone's garden and handed to her at a bus stop... Indeed, Sally noted, life is stranger than fiction.
Sally smiled to herself, secretly pleased with the attention but not wanting to aquiesce to this young man's wishes. Besides, she thought, there's plenty more with that came from. I don't need to start talking to strangers.
Sally nodded and smiled, not interested in what the young man was saying. He was nervous. Sally liked that she made him nervous. He rambled on and on..wasn't the weather lovely..wasn't she lucky to have a day off and be able to eat a cornetto..On and on the drivel went.
Finally, he came to the point. Would Sally like to meet him for a drink. No, she said she was too busy. She again struggled to suppress a laugh. Was she too mean, she wondered, or was she just secretly attracted to alpha males who treated her badly?
He kept asking, and as he went on, Sally's patience wore thin. She started walking faster down the street, seeing her house nearby. She breathed a sigh of relief and finally ended the conversation by saying "no I'm busy this weekend but have fun yourself".
He looked rather dejected but that couldn't be helped. It was just one of those things, Sally figured.
(Word Count:404)
***
Sally strode confidently down the street. She kept telling herself that she was "the ****". She caught sight of a handsome guy out of the corner of her eye. He appeared to be lost. He glanced up at her, checking her out. Sally felt flustered but tried to hide it. The last thing she would want is for her cheeks to start blushing in front of this attractive stranger.
Meanwhile, the stranger started walking towards her. He looked her up and down and finally said "have you got the time?" Sally resisted the inclination to laugh. She looked down at her bare, slim wrist and looked him squarely in his blue eyes, saying "no sorry, I don't have a watch".
She continued striding down the street, shopping bag in toe, cornetto in hand; when loe and behind, the man appeared again. He started making chit-chat with her. She wondered whether encounters like this actually happened in real life. Then again, she remembered the old taxi-driver who asked her out at the end of the journey, the old man who walked across the street, picked flowers for her off someone's garden and handed to her at a bus stop... Indeed, Sally noted, life is stranger than fiction.
Sally smiled to herself, secretly pleased with the attention but not wanting to aquiesce to this young man's wishes. Besides, she thought, there's plenty more with that came from. I don't need to start talking to strangers.
Sally nodded and smiled, not interested in what the young man was saying. He was nervous. Sally liked that she made him nervous. He rambled on and on..wasn't the weather lovely..wasn't she lucky to have a day off and be able to eat a cornetto..On and on the drivel went.
Finally, he came to the point. Would Sally like to meet him for a drink. No, she said she was too busy. She again struggled to suppress a laugh. Was she too mean, she wondered, or was she just secretly attracted to alpha males who treated her badly?
He kept asking, and as he went on, Sally's patience wore thin. She started walking faster down the street, seeing her house nearby. She breathed a sigh of relief and finally ended the conversation by saying "no I'm busy this weekend but have fun yourself".
He looked rather dejected but that couldn't be helped. It was just one of those things, Sally figured.
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