Rather not be here than be this fat thing

[Dietingdon]

Ive really had enough of being fat. I try so hard, but always end up giving in. I just dont want to be here anymore. Ive been looking into gastric band surgery and I totally cant afford it, and my Dr sasy I cant have one on the NHS. My life feels not worth living being fat! I even avoid my family members because I cant bear the comments about weight 'you still not lost any weight' 'that top makes you look big.' Im at my wits end. I want it so so bad, yet I cant do it. every monday Im 'starting again' but Ive given up already, it's only 7.30pm, given into hunger. Im sick of the stares and comments, Id rather not be here anymore.

 

[Stirky7]

Big hugs, we've all been there hun. But you've already lost 21lbs which is great. Don't give up, it'll just make you feel worse in the long run, believe me I've been there and done it Maybe you need to change your plan with something that suits you more and one you can stick to. Do you do any exercise too? It really helps motivate you in the right direction, even if it's just going out for a brisk walk (walking is great!). Or get an exercise dvd and do it at home, I've got the davina super body one which is great, love doing it.

But please don't give up on your hard work coming this far and I know it's hard but try not to worry about what other people say. Sadly our own family members can be very unhelpful and make comments without really thinking about what they say.

Good luck hun x

 

[Lisamac30]

I know exactly how you feel weight loss is such a psycological thing for so many people and the hardest thing is to work out whats making you give up!

For me, it was always that I was on diets that didn't suit me, and I continually failed, putting myself under too much pressure.

What works for me is small changes that over time really make a huge difference and it's totally do-able.

I'm not on a diet, I have changed my lifestyle. I did go and see a Hypnotherapist twice who gave me some really good tips, and now I have the extra tools to go it alone. (Maybe you could try a hypnotherapist too?)

All I do is have slightly smaller meal portions, only snack on fruit oatcakes or oat bars in between IF i'm hungry - and walk everywhere!

I also visualise the slim me, and how great i'll feel. And ask myself questions like do I really want this chocolate or cream cake more than I want to lose weight, the answer is always no, but if the craving is too much I have it - everything in moderation is fine! There's no way it's sustainable for me to think i'll live the rest of my life without the food's you enjoy...you just have to be sensible.

You've done so well though, by giving up totally and gaining the weight back you'll feel even worse. My advice would be to try something else, you should never feel hungry, there are always 'free' foods you can snack on, and I can definately vouch for walking, it really does help!

Good luck there is so much support on here for you to try and find out what'll work for you, use it, and go for it!!

 

[PurpleButterfly]

A good tip is the 1% one.. When you are faced with a tough temptation you only have to want to be slim 1% more than you want that cream cake/whatever.

Is it that you don't like being hungry? if so maybe try upping your protein levels as that's slow release energy. And taking it slowly, i.e. a 1500cal a day diet but just aim for slow but steady. Increase your exercise and the weight will come off, and it'll be easier to do it than more extreme ways. I find 1500 a day still allows me some chocolate on my diet, I still lose weight and I'm content to keep on doing it. It's a winner as far as I'm concerned!

Just commit to recommit... No matter how many times it takes if you keep trying you will get there. Did you think of just taking a dieting break for a while - and maintaining your weight (but be quite strict that you maintain, not gain weight) til you're mentally ready to carry on?

Hun you can do this! you've done so well. But often people who see you the most, struggle to see the changes. Do it for you, not for your family or anyone else - if you notice the changes that's all that matters.

Good luck hun.

 

[RavenMoon]

hi ive spoke to you in pm & on the xenical forum

just want to say , if you start to hate your life then this is the time you will get motivation , sometimes we need to feel pure hatred of how we have become & it kickstarts us into action , thats what happened to me i went to doctors crying asking for operations.. and they turned me down ... the next day i snapped outta it and started walking and goin gym i never looked back. sometimes feeling down is a good thing but dont give up x

 

[CrazyBrit]

It sounds very much as though you're suffering that phenomenon: careless family members.

I suggest two strategies. You can either use them in concert, or pick the best one for you.

1: Respond to snide comments with equally snide comments. If someone who should love you for who you are says "That top makes you look fat," try "Those trousers make you look ugly." If they say "You've still not lost any weight," try "And you've still not grown any manners". It might descend into a slanging match, but they'll soon learn that you won't tolerate the constant put-downs.

2: Communicate. Sit whoever it is in your family down (I'm guessing mother, right?) and explain calmly and clearly that while they may believe they are encouraging your weight-loss, all they are doing is making you feel bad and you want to give up. Tell them that if they really want to help you out, you have a list of ways in which they can do so (I don't know if you live with the offending family member(s) or not, but it might include not keeping fatty / sugary foods in the house, not insulting your weight, etc).

Also, are the people who are putting you down overweight themselves? Often the family member is actually feeling just as bad as you are about their own weight, and are transferring their self-loathing on to you instead. Or if it's a parent they may see your weight as an everpresent visual reminder of how they personally have "failed" you by letting you get overweight in the first place.

Then there's just the fact that some people really don't understand how fat people could possibly have got so large in the first place, and they figure that there must be something "wrong" with you. Which is always charming when it's your own family doing it. Are the rest of your family naturally fit, healthy, and healthily-sized?

Realistically it is YOUR body. Nobody else's. It doesn't matter what anyone's opinion of your body is, because they don't have to live in it. YOU do. It is your responsibility to ensure you live as happy a life as you can, and if you want to lose weight, you go do it! Don't listen to your family's put-downs, don't listen to anything which doesn't help you lose weight.

If something exists in your life which has no value to you, remove it from your life. Your family's comments on your weight? No value to you. Discard them. Don't hold on to them, because they are NOT precious pearls of wisdom to be treasured. So what? You're overweight! Do they think you haven't noticed?

Seriously, you can do this. Of course you can. And no amount of anyone suggesting or saying that you can't is true, because they can't force you to eat. Only you can choose what eat, only you can decide when to exercise, and only you live in your body and have the right to choose what you'll do with it.

Sometimes you just gotta tell them to shut it

 

[RavenMoon]

great reply crazybrit x

 

[Ellie65]

Ive really had enough of being fat. I try so hard, but always end up giving in. I just dont want to be here anymore. Ive been looking into gastric band surgery and I totally cant afford it, and my Dr sasy I cant have one on the NHS. My life feels not worth living being fat! I even avoid my family members because I cant bear the comments about weight 'you still not lost any weight' 'that top makes you look big.' Im at my wits end. I want it so so bad, yet I cant do it. every monday Im 'starting again' but Ive given up already, it's only 7.30pm, given into hunger. Im sick of the stares and comments, Id rather not be here anymore.

Heya cmon hun dont be so hard on yourself youve had some great replies here Take care and good luck xx

 

[soozsb]

Ive really had enough of being fat. I try so hard, but always end up giving in. I just dont want to be here anymore. Ive been looking into gastric band surgery and I totally cant afford it, and my Dr sasy I cant have one on the NHS. My life feels not worth living being fat! I even avoid my family members because I cant bear the comments about weight 'you still not lost any weight' 'that top makes you look big.' Im at my wits end. I want it so so bad, yet I cant do it. every monday Im 'starting again' but Ive given up already, it's only 7.30pm, given into hunger. Im sick of the stares and comments, Id rather not be here anymore.

I know exactly how you feel, I have felt that way many, many times over my lifetime. I weight the same as you right now and my highest weight was also 224 pds.Please don't give in to these feelings. Have you tried the Judders diet? I am going to try it next week. It is a diet where you have days where you eat very few calories and every other day you eat a lot mre calories. It sounds like something I can do. Also I get very, very hungry and then give up just like you. Have you tried taking an appetite suppressment? I take one called Meridia. It is amazing, I feel very little hunger when taking it. I also take Xenical, but it is not an appetite suppressant, it just removes a small amount of fat from the food that you eat. You still must diet or it won't work it will just give you bad loose bowel movements, and you don't wnat that. Try the Meridia and the judders program. It is on this website, I learned about it here and it sounds good. Good luck and don't give up - dieting or your life, it is not worth it no matter what you think, really.