So i've been through a heck of a lot this year and i'm just about at the end of my tether. I successfully lost 5 and 1/2 stone from September to Jan this year on SS/SS+ only to find out about the dreaded gall stones Since my operation to remove my gallbladder in June (and subsequent 12 week break from Cambridge) I've managed to put on about a 1st 7lbs, which takes my total weight loss needed before my big day next May of around 7 stone
Myself and my partner who are both fit and normally healthly albeit very overweight have been through the mill this year with various illnesses and hospital/doctors trips. I quite proudly said at the beginning of the year that the only time i've been into hospital has been to visit others...since jan i've had 8 trips to the hopistal from and including new years eve....IT'S ONLY SEPTEMBER! I came down with a simple cold last week (when i was supposed to be into my second week on SS) and low and behold i've now got a full blown chest infection and been given a 5 day plan of antibiotics and an inhaler....an inhaler!!!! I'm 28 and i sound like my great grandmother of 74 before she passed away (rip nanny h) after she used to smoke 20 park drive a day!! What the hell is wrong with me??
I've been massively sabotaging my re-start. I lost 3lbs after 2 days of being back on SS and since then i've eaten. My excuses will be my cold/chest infection, pressure/stress, lack of support from hubby to be blah blah blah...do you ever wonder why we do it? Why we hold onto the desperate dream of fitting back into a size whatever and then watch yourself hammer 7 maryland cookies (the big ones at 125cals each). I do...i'm convinced i love the drama it creates...the excitment of doing something in private that no-one else witnessed, telling a white lie to someone close hoping that the scales may lie...the breaking of the rules..but i sit there with that smirk that can only come from enjoying something truly scrumptious not realising conciously that the only one I've are hurting is ourselves.
I've got my weigh in scheduled for Thurs and i know i'm going to have put on...however...I've been doing some research on inspirational quotes to try and keep me motivated for the next couple of days to 'minimise the damage'. I have to stop playing the victim with excuses and everything else. I will not be a fat bride...i simply don't have the height to carry it off lol . I cannot travel all the way to disneyworld in florida and be the porky princess in a white dress...it's not going to happen, and although i know this i still eat I will no longer let food or my mind destroy my dream...i have cupcakes for my wedding party when we return to the UK and i'm going to eat one knowing that everyone isn't looking at me thinking 'should she really be eating that'.
I've decided to keep my own sanity...that i'm going to be doing a diary of my journey...day by day..here (including one of the said quotes) so that everyone else can have a read or a laugh as the case may be as i try to keep myself on track for my beautiful wedding next year. Plus i expect the readers to be giving me some stick along the way if i let myself down
So i wanna hear from you if you've ever had gall stones, have a wedding coming up and are stressing about planning or 'the dress' or if you have discovered those Maryland cookies generally anyone who feels deep down some of what i have just ranted on about or even if you don't...I'm here to share...because i've discovered it's no good trying to do it on your own even with the most wonderful counsellors as mine is. The laptop/PC/Netbook are always there whereas i'm not sure my counsellor would appreciate a conversation at 1am when i'm thinking about eating a tub of ice cream .
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Day 1 of re-starting the re-start begins at 6:30am tomorrow...update tomorrow evenings as my man Thomas Edison states...theres no harm in trying just one more time....
Myself and my partner who are both fit and normally healthly albeit very overweight have been through the mill this year with various illnesses and hospital/doctors trips. I quite proudly said at the beginning of the year that the only time i've been into hospital has been to visit others...since jan i've had 8 trips to the hopistal from and including new years eve....IT'S ONLY SEPTEMBER! I came down with a simple cold last week (when i was supposed to be into my second week on SS) and low and behold i've now got a full blown chest infection and been given a 5 day plan of antibiotics and an inhaler....an inhaler!!!! I'm 28 and i sound like my great grandmother of 74 before she passed away (rip nanny h) after she used to smoke 20 park drive a day!! What the hell is wrong with me??
I've been massively sabotaging my re-start. I lost 3lbs after 2 days of being back on SS and since then i've eaten. My excuses will be my cold/chest infection, pressure/stress, lack of support from hubby to be blah blah blah...do you ever wonder why we do it? Why we hold onto the desperate dream of fitting back into a size whatever and then watch yourself hammer 7 maryland cookies (the big ones at 125cals each). I do...i'm convinced i love the drama it creates...the excitment of doing something in private that no-one else witnessed, telling a white lie to someone close hoping that the scales may lie...the breaking of the rules..but i sit there with that smirk that can only come from enjoying something truly scrumptious not realising conciously that the only one I've are hurting is ourselves.
I've got my weigh in scheduled for Thurs and i know i'm going to have put on...however...I've been doing some research on inspirational quotes to try and keep me motivated for the next couple of days to 'minimise the damage'. I have to stop playing the victim with excuses and everything else. I will not be a fat bride...i simply don't have the height to carry it off lol . I cannot travel all the way to disneyworld in florida and be the porky princess in a white dress...it's not going to happen, and although i know this i still eat I will no longer let food or my mind destroy my dream...i have cupcakes for my wedding party when we return to the UK and i'm going to eat one knowing that everyone isn't looking at me thinking 'should she really be eating that'.
I've decided to keep my own sanity...that i'm going to be doing a diary of my journey...day by day..here (including one of the said quotes) so that everyone else can have a read or a laugh as the case may be as i try to keep myself on track for my beautiful wedding next year. Plus i expect the readers to be giving me some stick along the way if i let myself down
So i wanna hear from you if you've ever had gall stones, have a wedding coming up and are stressing about planning or 'the dress' or if you have discovered those Maryland cookies generally anyone who feels deep down some of what i have just ranted on about or even if you don't...I'm here to share...because i've discovered it's no good trying to do it on your own even with the most wonderful counsellors as mine is. The laptop/PC/Netbook are always there whereas i'm not sure my counsellor would appreciate a conversation at 1am when i'm thinking about eating a tub of ice cream .
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Day 1 of re-starting the re-start begins at 6:30am tomorrow...update tomorrow evenings as my man Thomas Edison states...theres no harm in trying just one more time....
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain
way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison
way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison
