liz0703
Silver Member
Today I went for my weigh in, as I chickened out last week. And was absolutely gutted to find I had gained 2lbs!!! I was so devastated, but realise I am really going off track and everything is just going to pot.
Confession time!! I am so disgusted with myself for getting myself into this mess, after doing so well and being so strong. I went through 6 months of LT, not cheating once, going through a split with my hubby, moving house etc. Started re feed 5 weeks ago, permanently split with my hubby after we couldn't get past the affair he was having (and still is!!), I got my new job etc.... the past few months have been such a roller coaster, but despite all this, I stayed on track! Up until last week. Everyday since then I have been binging on rubbish at night time, chocolate, crisps, cakes, biscuits and so on. And then throwing it up! I haven't told a soul this, as I am too embarrassed, and just do not know how to get out of the cycle on my own. I was so proud of myself with how much I had achieved, not just with the weight, but the house, the new job, trying to keep everything together for my boys, but now feel I am letting it crumble around myself and just don't know where to turn to get back on track.
I know counselling/ dietitian would be a step in the right direction, but this takes time. I do not want to put on any more weight, or make myself ill.
I have been doing loads of extra exercising to try and compensate for the binging, started using orlistat, have been eating what I have posted (but didn't mention the extra's!!), and to top it all I started totm today, my first in months. I am on the implant and do not normally have periods. Had 2, for the first time in 3 years, when i first started the shakes, then they stopped, but strangly started again today, not sure what has brought that on again.
Where do I go from here? Tempted to go back on the shakes again full time, but I have a 50th party next week that I have been looking forward to for months, so there wont be much point doing the shakes for just under 2wks, will have no time to re feed. Or do I do 2 shakes/1 meal a day?? Just have no idea what to do or where to turn to. All I know is am very disappointed with myself, to the point of disgust.
Sorry for waffling, thanks for taking the time to listen to me, not admitted by binging to anyone!
Confession time!! I am so disgusted with myself for getting myself into this mess, after doing so well and being so strong. I went through 6 months of LT, not cheating once, going through a split with my hubby, moving house etc. Started re feed 5 weeks ago, permanently split with my hubby after we couldn't get past the affair he was having (and still is!!), I got my new job etc.... the past few months have been such a roller coaster, but despite all this, I stayed on track! Up until last week. Everyday since then I have been binging on rubbish at night time, chocolate, crisps, cakes, biscuits and so on. And then throwing it up! I haven't told a soul this, as I am too embarrassed, and just do not know how to get out of the cycle on my own. I was so proud of myself with how much I had achieved, not just with the weight, but the house, the new job, trying to keep everything together for my boys, but now feel I am letting it crumble around myself and just don't know where to turn to get back on track.
I know counselling/ dietitian would be a step in the right direction, but this takes time. I do not want to put on any more weight, or make myself ill.
I have been doing loads of extra exercising to try and compensate for the binging, started using orlistat, have been eating what I have posted (but didn't mention the extra's!!), and to top it all I started totm today, my first in months. I am on the implant and do not normally have periods. Had 2, for the first time in 3 years, when i first started the shakes, then they stopped, but strangly started again today, not sure what has brought that on again.
Where do I go from here? Tempted to go back on the shakes again full time, but I have a 50th party next week that I have been looking forward to for months, so there wont be much point doing the shakes for just under 2wks, will have no time to re feed. Or do I do 2 shakes/1 meal a day?? Just have no idea what to do or where to turn to. All I know is am very disappointed with myself, to the point of disgust.
Sorry for waffling, thanks for taking the time to listen to me, not admitted by binging to anyone!