Really need someone to talk to

Discussion in 'Lighter Life Forum' started by Donnalou86, 2 May 2008 Social URL.

  1. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Hello all, am really struggling. I've just been feeling so so down the last couple of days and I really cant explain why. It just all came to a head when I was at my OH parents house and his mam made a totally innocent comment about me not being a 'girly girl' type. I went straight home and I've cried my eyes out in the shower. Then phoned my OH and cried my eyes out to him. This sounds ridiculous even as I'm writing it becasue I cant pinpoint what's wrong with me. I feel ugly and still fat but I am struggling so much with this diet now I'm miserable. I dont know why that is either because I've found it so easy for the whole 16 weeks I've been doing it. Havent been tempted to cheat once, have cooked food for family and for my job. Have felt grat about myself. But I dont know, since I started development and its up to me when I finish I've been dying for the end, dying to start RTM. This week particularly I've been so tempted to cheat, and a lack of the packs I like from my LLC has made things even harder. I've been snapping at my OH, my family, been so tired all the time not wanting to leave my room and not wanting to go to work, go to see people. Only sitting with my laptop on here, have even mad emy best friend angry at me cos I snapped at her when she came to visit and I had to come downstairs to see her.
    I've also found out that LL got my height wrong, when I got measured by the nurse this week she said I am actually 5'6 not 5'5. I worked it out that this meant I would be just in my healthy BMI at 11st 0 and its tempted me to make my goal weight higher again! I feel guilty doing it, like I'm copping out and not sticking it as far as I could but I'm so desperate I have to do something. I'm such a happy person normally and I've never felt this low. Sorry if I'm rambling on :cry::cry:
     
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  3. kellybelly

    kellybelly too hot to handle!!

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    i bet you feel better now that you have wrote it all down,,we all get days like this,,really depressing,,but chin up and you will be fine in no time,,but you really need to get out of the room and house,,i know it's hard but you have to make yourself do it,,
     
  4. mikey

    mikey Silver Member

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    Hey DL,
    Chin up!

    It is juts a temporary glitch - believe me. I have been through the same thing and had my 16 week weigh-in yesterday and only 1.98 lbs loss (again). I feel much better now though and today my scales showed me at below 16 stone - so although I missed by BMI mini goal (not quite 30 yet) I have hit another the very next day.

    Please focus on the positives. It is great that you are taller as that means that you are not as fat as you thought!

    Also - you look great in your pics - you are far from being ugly! and you don't look fat.

    You know this is just a temporary thing and you will feel better - I hope you do.

    Take care
     
  5. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Thanks for your kind words guys,just hope I can pull myself out of this slump soon
     
  6. SafcGirl31

    SafcGirl31 Full Member

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    Big hugs :hug99:
    LL is great but it puts you thru the ringer a bit, normal life revolves around food and drink so much, more than it should and I suppose after all this time it might feel like lifes on hold. Development is a difficult time, its less focused in class than foundation, that coupled with comments from the locum and then from in laws is challenging your resolve but don't let it. Try to do something for yourself, go for a walk or buy yourself something nice and pretty. Play on the Wii, boxing is always good for venting I find!!!! Its lovely and sunny up here, summer is nearly here, you're going to get to goal at such a great time. Not far to go, its so much harder if you lapse, I've never managed to get back into the 'zone', don't do it to yourself, chin up, deep breathes and steely resolve!! Keep Posting & Take Care x
     
  7. Mini

    Mini Administrator Staff Member

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    I would take this to mean that you are a very strong sensible minded woman:)

    You are the woman your husband married and he obviously seen something very special about you...

    Of course there is the possibility your MIL might be feeling inadequate in some way and sees you achieving and changing over the last few months and this has caused her to look at herself and she may not like what she sees thus she does transference onto you. People who are unhappy with themselves do this all the time.

    Don't let her push your buttons...

    Losing weight is very emotional and as you near goal the emotions do seem to go all over the place as so many things go on in the head...

    All the energy goes into losing the weight and this energy gets you this far and then it seems to leave...

    It helps to refocus on why you wanted to lose weight...the changes you have found with yourself that have taken place and those around you.


    Go over your goals and ask yourself what goals you have now for the future.

    At 5' 6" and 11 stone you are in the normal range and perhaps it is worth looking at doing RTM. This is not coping out by anymeans...working through RTM you will probably lose some more weight which is very often the case.

    Love Mini xxx
     
  8. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    hey you - so sorry that ur feeling so low.....:( you must do what feels right for YOU.....sounds to me like you have done really really well....maybe it's takin your brain a wee while to catch up with the new you ????

    pick the weight that feels right for you.....try to remember how far you have come and how much better you feel about yourself - you have done really well :) be proud of who you are.......

    love

    Debz xx
     
  9. Blonde Logic

    Blonde Logic Yes. You can.

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    There there Donnalou....I do hope you feel better getting that all off your chest. You are not alone sweetheart - we all feel like that at one time or another! I felt a bit like that earlier today! I got a new camera yesterday and was playing around taking pics tonight! I still hate my pic! I feel so good mentally, and so much better physicially, in terms of physical health, but when I saw those pictures, it drove home to me how much further I have to go. It was good to see them, because the head does start playing tricks with you with its crooked thinking sometimes!

    You have done so well, and you have so little left to go - you are nearly there, whether it is your original goal, or you move it up to 11 stones. Don't get hung up on that being cheating....there are no rules.....I think many of us tweak our goal as we approach the end as we know what we are comfortable with by then where we were really stabbing in the dark at the onset of the diet, and just looking at BMI numbers. I definately plan to tweak mine....I have left myself some room to play with - I fully expect that if I go all the way to original goal, I will no doubt settle back up to about 11 stone myself - I am also 5'6. I mostly want to get to 10 stone - just to prove to myself I can do it. But I don't want to be a slave to maintain - so I believe 11 stone is a more naturally sustainable weight for my height, age and frame. And when I get to 11 stone, if I am happy, and the desire to prove to myself something has changed - then I could stop at 11. Its all such a personal choice, and you can't be faulted for whatever you choose.

    So honey - you make whatever decision is best for you.

    Do try not to take it out on others if you can though. I only say this, because I sense you are quite sensitive, and this will only make you feel bad about it later. That's all. :). We all, and they all know you don;t meant to - but I know from my own experience, who it really hurts in the end is you because once the mood passes you will feel bad for taking it out on them. And you don't want to feel bad either. Maybe try talking to them all - tell them how you are feeling, and apologise if you feel you were out of order....it will make you feel better. :) And they will understand where you are coming from. Just be open and honest. Just something to think about. :)

    Try not to focus so much on the 16 weeks being over. I think that trips up a lot of people. Just try to get back to realising your are still in the process, and soon you will be done. Thats really all you need to know - you don't need to know what week it is, and whether its called foundation or development or anything at all.

    Just look after you, get out in the sunshine - a few deeeeep breaths - have a stroll and see the new flowers all opening at last....and things can look brighter in the morning!

    xx
     
    Last edited: 2 May 2008
  10. misscheeky

    misscheeky Gold Member

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    Hi Donna,

    Just wanted to say chin up :) i think mini is right there in what she says about other people having a look at themselves when they see other people close to them achieving something good. Just look at the amount you have lost so far, you should be so proud of yourself.

    becky xx
     
  11. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Thanks everyone, BL you're right I already feel bad about taking it out on people. Have just had a long bath, still feel not so good am going to go to bed for an hour before work cos dont want to go to work in a modd like this. Cant wait for the weekend, Chris gloing to take me out for the day after my WI to make me feel better
     
  12. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Hva ejust changed my ticker goal to 11 stone, with hopes of losing a little bit more in RTM. Might change it back though after speaking to my LLC tommorow, dunno
     
  13. debz32

    debz32 Gold Member

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    Great !! do what's right for YOU :) that's the most important !!!!

    Debz xx
     
  14. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    Firstly, you are gorgeous! You were when you started and you are more gorgeous now you're slimmer.

    I can understand how you're feeling, I think after a while we all start to think about when is the right time for RTM. I know I haven't stopped debating things with myself.

    Maybe try some exercise? A brisk walk in the sunshine? It'll get the endorphins flowing and help you feel a bit better.

    How about a brisk walk around the shops? Treat yourself to something nice? Maybe buy something a size smaller than you that you can fit into will keep you motivated and something to aim for?

    As for goal, I'm just going to keep going until I feel happy, I don't know what weight that will be yet.
     
  15. toller-girl

    toller-girl constantly confused

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    Posted at the same time as BL , sorry I've repeated!

    Was trying to type at work hence taking ages.

    Also Donna, remember you've got a lot on your plate, loads of change and that's terrifying.

    Has your Wii got any boxing type games? That would make you fel better! :p
     
  16. snowmum

    snowmum Full Member

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    Hi keep it up you are doing so well. It is hard though. interestingly they may not have got your height wrong as you lose weight the pressure all over from the flab and especially on your arches(feet) is released and therefore your arches can spring back and you can 'grow' taller!
     
  17. stillnocake

    stillnocake New Member

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    Hi, I've been reading Minimins since I started LL in January, but haven't posted here before. I read your post tonight and wanted to tell you that I'm also in my 16th week and also feeling inexplicably fed up. I've been absolutely thrilled with the weightloss so far and that's really kept me going, but this last week I've been feeling absolutely miserable and trying to work out when I can expect to come off it.

    All I can put it down to is that in Foundation, I had the hundred days to work towards ( even though I knew it wouldn't be the end for me.) This open-ended lark seems much tougher. I'm just trying to keep finding things I'm pleased about and hanging onto them. This week I fit into the size 20 jeans I bought weeks ago. That helps a lot.
     
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  19. Donnalou86

    Donnalou86 Striving for slimness

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    Thanks loads for your reply stillnocake, and congrats on fitting into your jeans!! I think it is just the open endedness of it that's the problem, think we just need to remember how good this diet is, and we're going to be at our goals still in a very reletavely short time. If I'd been doing ww or something this long I'd probably only lost about a stone, stone and a half by now!
     
  20. Slimseaa

    Slimseaa Silver Member

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    Hey Donna, im glad you have let it out hun! You have done so well and have been there for everyone else on here, now it's our turn! You have come to the right place! LL diet does play with emotions, it can be a rollercoaster to some of us! You are not far from you're goal thats why you're feeling like this. If you can stick to it for another 1-2 weeks, then start RTM!

    At the end of the day, don't ignore what you're body tells you! You know that I am 11 st something and need to be at least 10st 6 to be within my BMI, that I will be doing over time now with healthy eating and exercise!

    I am very suprised with my reactions towards food, avoiding cakes and all sugary things! You have such gr8 willpower staying totally focused for the last 16 weeks. I went through all emtions during my LL journey and was not myself at all! I went from being a BIG Bubbly person to a slimmer quiet, miserable person at times, who used to cry most of the time!

    Plenty of hugs from me :hug99:, take care, love Shalini xx
     
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