Reflections on 2006 and Beyond...

Curvy_Chicken

Full Member
Reflections on 2006 and Beyond...

On new years eve I met up with a friend and we got talking about this blog, obesity and minimins over our yummy curry dinner... One of the things my friend asked me about was why people allowed themselves to become overweight/obese. On minimins there are many members who know exactly why and the circumstances/reasons that lead to their weight gain.

This discussion with my friend got me wondering - how did I get like this? How does one end up five stone, five pounds overweight? For me there are two reasons.

Inactivity.

Depression.

Being a very inactive teenager and then student has allowed my weight to slowly creep up over the years. I absolutely hated secondary school - was utterly miserable there and I often remember comfort eating. I can't say if my misery then was teenage angst or depression - but I know that sweet things eased the blues. Once I left school I stopped eating in this way.

In my second and final years at university, depression snuck up on me. I am an expert at avoidance - especially of my own feelings, however you can only hide from such things for so long. One of the strangest things I discovered about depression was that I felt nothing. Feeling nothing allows you to do terrible things to yourself, such as over-eating and getting involved with people that are clearly no good for you. When I finally realised what I was doing to myself, I was terrified and angry. Thankfully the person who I was involved was a natural arsehole, (I often called him a c**t - I am sure that those of you who know me, could never imagine me using such language!) so that leaving him was incredibly easy and liberating. And once again I grasped control of my eating habits.

However I did realise that I had gained a lot of weight - I felt bad so treated myself to lots of new clothes to compensate.

Occasionally I would brave the scales and see that I weighed around fourteen stone.
Things stayed that way for a long time.

I moved to Brighton in 2003 and I was still nursing my feelings of low self esteem with new clothes, I wanted to lose weight but I didn't know how to and I certainly didn't have the strength. It was only in 2004 that I realised that I really needed to and wanted to lose weight. I talked to my lovely boyfriend about it, he reassured me that I could do it if I wanted to. It seems insane in retrospect that being a healthy weight was such pipe dream to me then!

So my boyfriend suggested that he would teach me how to play squash and I discovered then, that if I am going to do exercise, it has to be fun.

Since 2005 I have been actively been trying to lose weight, but in the summer of 2006 my lack of success and failed attempts at 'healthy eating' and exercise really got to me. I was incredibly frustrated that I couldn't do enough exercise and cutting back left me feeling hungry all the time. I felt really low - just have a look at my posts on my blog during July and August.

Then one day whilst randomly searching on the web, I came across the GI Diet. A diet that stops you feeling hungry and has good results? Surely such a thing couldn't exist? And apparently it is easy follow - surely not?

One book and a week later I was four pounds lighter. I didn't get hungry, I missed sugar, but I got over that.

The first couple of months of following the diet were hard. Mentally as time has gone on I found things easier. Time, something which deterred me from dieting sooner, is no longer an issue. I feel quite okay that I am not going to meet my initial target of being at my goal weigh by May. I am shrinking and that is all that matters.

So now weighing 12.8.5 and only three and a half pounds away from having lost two stone, I feel wonderful, I really believe and have faith in myself that I can see this to the end.

2006 was wonderful year for me because I found a way of making something that seemed so unattainable real. There is still a way to go yet but I am certain that 2007 will be even better as I finally edge closer to nine stone.

I can't wait!
 
Hi Curvy Chicken,

Thank you for such a wonderful heart felt post and I can identify with so much of what you have said.

You have found a diet that works and suits you and you have taken your control back...it is a learning process for all of us and one of self discovery.

Easy does it...

Wishing you all the best for 2007:)

Love Mini xxx
 
For me 2006 was not a good year, but what is helping me is being able to draw a line under it and say ' that was last year, this year is going to be so much better'. We had so many worries last year, as I know lots of my Minimin friends know, that really by the end my weight just was irrelevant. Now, fresh start, everything looking much clearer; it's funny but when you have had REAL worry, you know, life or death stuff or potential financial ruin or worst of all something happening to one of your children you get this kind of 'priority clarification' thing and suddenly you are just so grateful that things are better. It doesn't mean that I have forgotten how being overweight can make you unhappy, it is just that I can think to myself, yeah I should be slimmer, I'll get on with that, I won't beat myself up about it or be unkind to myself , I'll just make wiser choices, eat more healthily andit will sort itself out in time. Meanwhile though my life will not be on hold. I have a family, who thankfully are fit, well and unharmed, a husband who loves and supports me and the bad stuff of 2006 is behind me.
Sorry, Barb in waffle mode!

I think you probably know what I am on about though. I think I am just saying I feel grateful at the moment and being thinner is just not the hang up it was.

Love

Barb
 
Wow Curvy Chicken,

What a fab post i identified with so much of what you said i am due to start SW on monday after reading this i will get my GI books out i have about 8 of them never really read them my mum bought them as i have pcos so have insulin resistance so i should eat the gi way although i always found it to be very confusing . Thanks for posting this made me rethink things .
I hope you have a very productive and enjoyable 2007 lotsa luv Julie xxx
 
Thanks barb - I do know what you mean - there are times in your life that really do make you appreciate what you have - xxx

Thanks Julie for your message! Sorry to hear you've found the GI diet confusing - I'd recommend Rick Gallop's book if you have got it? You are only allowed foods from the green column whilst dieting - I just try to keep it simple where I can.

Good luck with your diet be it SW or low GI and have a fab 2007.

Love CC xx xx xx
 
I might come to you for some advice re the GI Julie, I have not really read up on it but it does sound like you are a real fan. I fit gets me off the sugar/carby stuff that would be worth thinking about. I am going to have a few soupy days, then get back on the cal counting and if I feel myself slipping I will check in for more info with you!

Love Barbxx
 
I'd like to add another reason to INACTIVITY and DEPRESSION. That is .... dieting itself!

I started dieting when a size 14/16. I'd started putting on weight when I stopped swimming training (I had no idea what the connection was with sudden inactivity and weight gain!).

It was not successful and I went back to 'normal eating' and put on weight again, plus a bit more. The cycle continued for a further 29 years, (losing weight on some diet and putting it plus a bit more on each time). Each time I failed I felt worse about myself and more desperate. Despite all my efforts (some frankly dangerous) I STILL got fatter.

Doing LL has taught me that it's what is going on in my head which will dictate whether I succeed in keeping the weight off I've lost. At last for the first time I have a handle on what's been going on and have hope.
 
That would be tricky for me I suspect as I have wholewheat allergies and can not eat anything 'grainy or oaty'. Npt to worry, I am going to go with this healthy soup thing and try basically doing a fruity breakfast, soup for lunch and then low fat meat and veg dinner with a glass of wine! Need to add in a yogurt or two for the calcium and keep away from the biscuit barrel - sounds do-able doesn't it?

Going to do a week of food diary only with the above and see how well I do. With me it's all about variety so I would like to keep the full on cal counting in the background ready to go back to when I want to ring the changes.
I'll keep you posted (quite literally!).

Love Barbxx
 
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