River's LL Diary

[River]

Thanks Catthin! I had a lovely jelly with blueberries in and my vanilla pack as a sauce last night and oh my!

Aww thank you Slenda, i just cant look at my first week ones.. i just feel nauseous and slightly weird light headed? I met a lady from my second week of LL who dropped out christmas time and returned last week on the stairs and she walked past me and i called out her name and she hadnt even recognised me! I honestly never knew i had cheek bones underneath or as big as eyes as i do now lol! Its deffinatly difficult to get use to these things more than you think isnt it? x

Still strong and not touching my veggy snack because im still remarkably not hungry.. I think ive more or less beaten the emotional eating out of me but im still on my toes with it just incase.

Although im getting a lot of critisim about this from my mother (of all people ) saying im getting anorexic as im not eating enough and i even got told to eat when my belly was so full it hurt. I really didnt appreciate it and got slightly emotional why would i do that? I dont get it.. its like they want me to go back to the way i was because thats in essence how i got to my heaviest weight. Im not sure if its jealousy but it really hurt me and im not going to include them in on my journey anymore.

Hope everyone has a fab weekend! I unfortunatly have to take my sister home and will be seeing my mother so im hoping i dont get anymore pressure. xx

 

[gracielou09]

Hope the weekend went well hun.

How you doing?

xx

 

[River]

Hi Jules huni, im fine thank you my darling! Just been a bit preoccupied with food. I hope your doing well this week and have to say loved your red dress and your shoes were fab miss! You looked stunning .

 

[River]

Thought id do my long winded week post and bore you all before bed hehe! Well i lost a 1lb and a half! Its amazing as some of these losses i was lucky to get on LL total. I remember a month ago i had 1/2 and i was slightly gutted but im just happy to maintain really but you cant but help welcome those losses!

So this week towards the weekend really was a bit challenging.. Ive got no job currently and im desperate to do something, i want to goto uni and not be uprooted as we want to move home to my family and our wedding next year is where we want to be (the OH is looking but theres nothing really in what he does here in england ). So i decided as theres no jobs around here, to volunteer with the local child and women services as ive worked for Home start in the past so ive asked them and Action for children .

This has come about as all i do is sit at home and focus on this damn diet and whens my next meal ect.. ive stopped this come yesterday because i noticed but i need to get out of these four walls as reading and knitting isnt cutting it lol!

Anyway fruit weeks been good.. i dont really getting starving hungry and want food.. I suppose its been the 10 months of eating so little, so im setting meal times currently like my bar for breakfast, meal at 5pmish and then pack at night before 9pm!! (this is a struggle as again im not hungry most days for it) with some fruit and jelly. I have once or twice done 30g-50g of my dairy ration of fromage frais (love this why didnt i try it before?!) with some fruit portion but again i feel weird eating it and its been a only if i get blackout fuzzy heads and migranes.
I guess as ive just ate before whenever it pleased me and never really listened to my body when it was satisfied and when it wasnt and most of the time im satisfied i find. Its now a case of listening and its quite interesting how often i dont need food?!
Ive started cheekly looking at week 5 in the bible and i did the card exercise that says "are you thirsty, emotional, tired, bored ect) and did a few of my own with amusing pics on the back lol and keep them on hand to help in times of confusion. So if Im in doubt i drink a pint of water and strangely i find it fills me till i slightly hurt lol.. and i question are you really hungry now because you certainly dont feel it! Amazingly insane feelings.

I would say to anyone who does this to do RTM most deffinatly now, its changed my whole outlook in 4 weeks! Yes ive become slightly obsessed with calorie counting and weighing lol but this helps me know whats going in and where if in future if i make mistakes i can fix. I never thought i was this mentally strong, its made me such a stronger person and for the better! I honestly thought id be eating all my snacks and 5 a day but i remind myself just because its there you dont need it, foods nourishment not a crutch, a friend or a healer.

Anyway sorry to bore you all to death lol! Ive just come to a big realisation this past week. Im in control and noone else, not even you food!

I also dont know wether this is a good or bad thing but ive been testing boundaries of my control area.. i smoke a cigarette a day because i was scared of eating and stressed and wanted to replace i guess.. but i stopped this week and replaced it with sugar free chewing gum and my LLC said itll make you hungry cause of stomach acids and ive always known that and well it hasnt.. so i dont know wether this is good or bad for now? Im treating it as mind over matter and its stopped me smoking so i guess its positive.

Soo im allowed to cook my veggys this week so im happy but its not that exciting really! Oh and i was crowned my LLC biggest loser and stayer and bless her i got a free magazine, so i got treated by the OH with 3 new tops too hehe.

I hope everyone has a fab week! Keep those pounds dropping! Night night xxx

 

[gracielou09]

Hi Jules huni, im fine thank you my darling! Just been a bit preoccupied with food. I hope your doing well this week and have to say loved your red dress and your shoes were fab miss! You looked stunning .

Thank you, You are such a little sweetheart. Big hugs

 

[gracielou09]

Thought id do my long winded week post and bore you all before bed hehe! Well i lost a 1lb and a half! Its amazing as some of these losses i was lucky to get on LL total. I remember a month ago i had 1/2 and i was slightly gutted but im just happy to maintain really but you cant but help welcome those losses!

So this week towards the weekend really was a bit challenging.. Ive got no job currently and im desperate to do something, i want to goto uni and not be uprooted as we want to move home to my family and our wedding next year is where we want to be (the OH is looking but theres nothing really in what he does here in england ). So i decided as theres no jobs around here, to volunteer with the local child and women services as ive worked for Home start in the past so ive asked them and Action for children .

This has come about as all i do is sit at home and focus on this damn diet and whens my next meal ect.. ive stopped this come yesterday because i noticed but i need to get out of these four walls as reading and knitting isnt cutting it lol!

Anyway fruit weeks been good.. i dont really getting starving hungry and want food.. I suppose its been the 10 months of eating so little, so im setting meal times currently like my bar for breakfast, meal at 5pmish and then pack at night before 9pm!! (this is a struggle as again im not hungry most days for it) with some fruit and jelly. I have once or twice done 30g-50g of my dairy ration of fromage frais (love this why didnt i try it before?!) with some fruit portion but again i feel weird eating it and its been a only if i get blackout fuzzy heads and migranes.
I guess as ive just ate before whenever it pleased me and never really listened to my body when it was satisfied and when it wasnt and most of the time im satisfied i find. Its now a case of listening and its quite interesting how often i dont need food?!
Ive started cheekly looking at week 5 in the bible and i did the card exercise that says "are you thirsty, emotional, tired, bored ect) and did a few of my own with amusing pics on the back lol and keep them on hand to help in times of confusion. So if Im in doubt i drink a pint of water and strangely i find it fills me till i slightly hurt lol.. and i question are you really hungry now because you certainly dont feel it! Amazingly insane feelings.

I would say to anyone who does this to do RTM most deffinatly now, its changed my whole outlook in 4 weeks! Yes ive become slightly obsessed with calorie counting and weighing lol but this helps me know whats going in and where if in future if i make mistakes i can fix. I never thought i was this mentally strong, its made me such a stronger person and for the better! I honestly thought id be eating all my snacks and 5 a day but i remind myself just because its there you dont need it, foods nourishment not a crutch, a friend or a healer.

Anyway sorry to bore you all to death lol! Ive just come to a big realisation this past week. Im in control and noone else, not even you food!

I also dont know wether this is a good or bad thing but ive been testing boundaries of my control area.. i smoke a cigarette a day because i was scared of eating and stressed and wanted to replace i guess.. but i stopped this week and replaced it with sugar free chewing gum and my LLC said itll make you hungry cause of stomach acids and ive always known that and well it hasnt.. so i dont know wether this is good or bad for now? Im treating it as mind over matter and its stopped me smoking so i guess its positive.

Soo im allowed to cook my veggys this week so im happy but its not that exciting really! Oh and i was crowned my LLC biggest loser and stayer and bless her i got a free magazine, so i got treated by the OH with 3 new tops too hehe.

I hope everyone has a fab week! Keep those pounds dropping! Night night xxx

Now missey, I've said this to you before ...stop excusing yourself saying your boring or your posts are boring. Read and absorb what I say next ....YOU are not boring. Right? lol

Loved reading this post, lightbulb moments galore huni. If I could, I'd give you the biggest hug ever. You are an inspiration to us, you've come such a long way and to read this was great. Smiling to myself as I read it.

Health wise I hope you are feeling lots better now your eating huni.

Admire you for volunteering like you are. Shows what a lovely person you are too. Keep looking for that illusive job though...it will come. I'm a great believer in whats meant to be will be. Even though you may not understand why at the moment all will eventually be revealed. You'll look back and say "ah thats why"

Your beautiful inside and out.

Big hugs
xx

 

[Borris]

I love reading your posts !

 

[River]

Aww Jules thank you my darling made me smile hehe xx! I hope i am helping and can help others through this crazy process hehe! Its amazing and i cant stop thinking about it, the changes and its like who are you woman?! I will say this until im blue in the face i think lol but i was the least likely person to do this (i thought diets for someone like me didnt work and it was in my genes to be like this and overweight) so im so proud ive achieved it.

Im feeling 100% better now hun i think i needed this, my tension headaches are gone and i feel so full of energy now. I loved working with Home Start before its such a rewarding and lovely experience helping out and fund raising. Id reccomend it to anyone! Had so much fun sitting in the sun and playing with the children i cant wait to do it again now . Some jobs did come up haha (it was your positivity boost for me im sure!) and im not crossing anything but im going to drop CVs in tomorrow.

Thanks Matt and good luck for Saturday my lovely! Keep strong and if you need an ear im always here x

Just a quicky for today but its been so much better. Strangely after yesterday im coping better with meals.. im not thinking about it and its getting harder to actually eat my evening and pack. Im a little bit more at easy with my measuring and calorie tracking, i mean i still do it but its more of a dont panic if i eat 200 calories more a day.

Night everyone xxx

 

[Clarabow]

Thrilled to hear ur news. Ur posting helps loads xx

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[LastEverDiet]

Hey River
Just popping over from the Exante forum to let you know what an inspiration you are! When I was first thinking about starting a VLCD a few weeks ago I came across your diary and read the whole thing, and pretty much decided then that it was time for me to take control and do something to lose the weight!
Congratulations on your huge success and thank you x

 

[River]

Thank you clarabow huni, Keep the pounds dropping chick your doing fab xx

Ah thank you Lasteverdiet, im so happy my ramblings help hehe! Good luck hun have all the confidence that youll do it! and those are fab losses youll be there in no time ! xx

 

[preshnit]

7 stone down!!

WOW WEEEEEEEEEE!

That is amazing.

IN AWE!

 

[gracielou09]

Aww Jules thank you my darling made me smile hehe xx! I hope i am helping and can help others through this crazy process hehe! Its amazing and i cant stop thinking about it, the changes and its like who are you woman?! I will say this until im blue in the face i think lol but i was the least likely person to do this (i thought diets for someone like me didnt work and it was in my genes to be like this and overweight) so im so proud ive achieved it.

Im feeling 100% better now hun i think i needed this, my tension headaches are gone and i feel so full of energy now. I loved working with Home Start before its such a rewarding and lovely experience helping out and fund raising. Id reccomend it to anyone! Had so much fun sitting in the sun and playing with the children i cant wait to do it again now . Some jobs did come up haha (it was your positivity boost for me im sure!) and im not crossing anything but im going to drop CVs in tomorrow.

Thanks Matt and good luck for Saturday my lovely! Keep strong and if you need an ear im always here x

Just a quicky for today but its been so much better. Strangely after yesterday im coping better with meals.. im not thinking about it and its getting harder to actually eat my evening and pack. Im a little bit more at easy with my measuring and calorie tracking, i mean i still do it but its more of a dont panic if i eat 200 calories more a day.

Night everyone xxx

You've achieved so much gorgeous, you should be proud of yourself.

So glad your feeling better and your symptoms have subsided.

Fingers legs and arms crossed on the job front huni

Big hugs
xxxxxx

 

[River]

7 stone down!!

WOW WEEEEEEEEEE!

That is amazing.

IN AWE!

Lol thanks preshnit, i sat down with the other half today and it comes to a round total of 8stone 9lbs.. im slightly proud but embarressed to say the least! How i got to that place ill never know. xx


Thank you Jules your doing fab too my lovely proud of you! xx

 

[Borris]

Lol thanks preshnit, i sat down with the other half today and it comes to a round total of 8stone 9lbs.. im slightly proud but embarressed to say the least! How i got to that place ill never know. xx

Thank you Jules your doing fab too my lovely proud of you! xx

Where are your before pics ? Xx

 

[River]

Where are your before pics ? Xx

If you click on my profile theres photos to the right xx

 

[Borris]

If you click on my profile theres photos to the right xx

Beautiful xxx

 

[River]

Aww thank you hehe , I am ashamed of my first week photographs though so your all lucky lol because the only person to see them was my mum and dad lol! x

 

[Clarabow]

Can't see pics. Bah humbug ! Over 8 stone lost. Ur my new pin up xx Keep living the new you and maintaining x

Sent from my iPhone using MiniMins

 

[River]

Oh you have to friend me chick, ill do it now x