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saw doc for #wrist now wants a poo sample???


a new way of living!
S: 12st11lb C: 11st8.5lb G: 8st3lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 1st2.5lb(9.22%)
confused?? :confused:

ok ok so maybe i mentioned I get gastritis a lot from my pain killers ;)

But i had to see the funny side.

so I go there, asking for a sick note for # wrist - and he notes that I am on diclofenac, and changes me to ibuprophen, as diclofenac can cause heart attacks if used long term.

so i mention i get gastritis a lot, and he gives me lansaprole (like omeprazole for your stomach lining) and asks:

doc: 'is your weight stable?'

me: erm... no i'm dieting so have lost weight

doc: how quickly are you losing weight?

me: erm.. 26lbs in 8 weeks

doc: get on the couch

me: clamber on couch one handed

doc: (examines tummy) mmm that seems ok

me: (thinking sure is its 4.5 inches smaller :D)

doc: here is a sample bottle i need a stool sample from you

me: tempted to shove the leg of the stool i am sat on inside the jar but think better of it!

doc: do you know how to do a stool sample?

me: erm.. well never done one before but sure i can work it out!

doc: well take some cling film, stick it over the loo with a dip in the middle... you see there is a spoon inside sample bottle...

(sure you can work the rest out)

me: right ok, (here i was thinking of using it to mix my shales with)

doc: i may need to send you for a camera down throat

me: delightful i'll look forward to that

me: by the way, can i have that sick note please...

doc: I saw you at the cinema last week by the way. didn't want to shout hello though as you were too far away.

me: erm... lovely

so I go out eventually with a sick note, a poo bottle and a new perscription.

hoping i dont see him at cinema this week, incase he shouts over... (in chinese accent)

'oh miss parkes, have you had that sh*t yet?'....

failed to say what I should do with the cling film afterwards...

sandwich anyone.....?
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S: 17st1.0lb G: 13st3.0lb
Just as well none of us are eating sandwiches at the moment!! Lol


Gold Member
S: 15st6lb C: 15st6lb G: 11st0lb BMI: 35.9 Loss: 0st0lb(0%)
Thanks hun! That just took the hunger right off me!!! LOL!


a new way of living!
S: 12st11lb C: 11st8.5lb G: 8st3lb BMI: 29.7 Loss: 1st2.5lb(9.22%)
LOL you know me, always take it to the gutter! ;)

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