msblonde
a new way of living!
confused?? 
ok ok so maybe i mentioned I get gastritis a lot from my pain killers
But i had to see the funny side.
so I go there, asking for a sick note for # wrist - and he notes that I am on diclofenac, and changes me to ibuprophen, as diclofenac can cause heart attacks if used long term.
so i mention i get gastritis a lot, and he gives me lansaprole (like omeprazole for your stomach lining) and asks:
doc: 'is your weight stable?'
me: erm... no i'm dieting so have lost weight
doc: how quickly are you losing weight?
me: erm.. 26lbs in 8 weeks
doc: get on the couch
me: clamber on couch one handed
doc: (examines tummy) mmm that seems ok
me: (thinking sure is its 4.5 inches smaller)
doc: here is a sample bottle i need a stool sample from you
me: tempted to shove the leg of the stool i am sat on inside the jar but think better of it!
doc: do you know how to do a stool sample?
me: erm.. well never done one before but sure i can work it out!
doc: well take some cling film, stick it over the loo with a dip in the middle... you see there is a spoon inside sample bottle...
(sure you can work the rest out)
me: right ok, (here i was thinking of using it to mix my shales with)
doc: i may need to send you for a camera down throat
me: delightful i'll look forward to that
me: by the way, can i have that sick note please...
doc: I saw you at the cinema last week by the way. didn't want to shout hello though as you were too far away.
me: erm... lovely
so I go out eventually with a sick note, a poo bottle and a new perscription.
hoping i dont see him at cinema this week, incase he shouts over... (in chinese accent)
'oh miss parkes, have you had that sh*t yet?'....
failed to say what I should do with the cling film afterwards...
sandwich anyone.....?
ok ok so maybe i mentioned I get gastritis a lot from my pain killers
But i had to see the funny side.
so I go there, asking for a sick note for # wrist - and he notes that I am on diclofenac, and changes me to ibuprophen, as diclofenac can cause heart attacks if used long term.
so i mention i get gastritis a lot, and he gives me lansaprole (like omeprazole for your stomach lining) and asks:
doc: 'is your weight stable?'
me: erm... no i'm dieting so have lost weight
doc: how quickly are you losing weight?
me: erm.. 26lbs in 8 weeks
doc: get on the couch
me: clamber on couch one handed
doc: (examines tummy) mmm that seems ok
me: (thinking sure is its 4.5 inches smaller
)doc: here is a sample bottle i need a stool sample from you
me: tempted to shove the leg of the stool i am sat on inside the jar but think better of it!
doc: do you know how to do a stool sample?
me: erm.. well never done one before but sure i can work it out!
doc: well take some cling film, stick it over the loo with a dip in the middle... you see there is a spoon inside sample bottle...
(sure you can work the rest out)
me: right ok, (here i was thinking of using it to mix my shales with)
doc: i may need to send you for a camera down throat
me: delightful i'll look forward to that
me: by the way, can i have that sick note please...
doc: I saw you at the cinema last week by the way. didn't want to shout hello though as you were too far away.
me: erm... lovely
so I go out eventually with a sick note, a poo bottle and a new perscription.
hoping i dont see him at cinema this week, incase he shouts over... (in chinese accent)
'oh miss parkes, have you had that sh*t yet?'....
failed to say what I should do with the cling film afterwards...
sandwich anyone.....?
