Self image

Serena A

Serena A

Can't think of a title
I started off my CD journey at a size 18-20. A few weeks later at a size 16 I felt on top of the world and was starting to get my confidence back. A few weeks on and I'm now in a size 14 but every time I look in the mirror I see an ugly lumpy person reflected back at me. :sigh:

I had a think and I reckon that when I got to a 16 I compared myself to the way I looked when I started and felt good. Now I'm feeling a bit jaded with the diet so now when I look in the mirror I compare myself to the size 10 I think I ought to be instead of remembering how far I've come.

I find the food part of CD relatively easy so why is my brain being so dumb? Why is it so psychologically hard coming to terms with the way I look? I worry that now I am over the initial euphoria of "wow this diet really works!" I am going to beat myself up mentally no matter what I weigh.

Has anyone else felt this way and how did you deal with it?

Someone please help me snap out of it before I sabotage myself :( Thanks xx
 
i went through this, got to one stage where i freaked everytime i looked in the mirror cause i didnt recognise myself. I decided in myself that i had to be happy with myself. If i didnt then i would have never have been happy with myself regardless of what size i was or was going to end up as. Your weight isnt what makes you... its what you are inside. Sounds a bit 'Dad' like but you need to find a love for who you are inside not what is on the outside..

becki x
 
I don't like myself inside much, maybe that's the problem :( I no longer have so much excess weight to shield me from how I really feel about life so I'm paying too much attention to what I now see in the mirror. Hmmn that's food for thought.

Thanks Becki x
 
Now its time to work out why to prehaps comfort ate? this is deep ennit

You will do it x

keep your head up x
 
I felt all the things you are now going through, initial eurphoria as I started to shrink, then a bit lost as I didn't recognise myself anymore, feeling that I still looked big (let you into a secret, I still have days when I feel fat and lumpy). Given time I did adjust, takes the mind a little time to catch up and am now comfortable with who I am inside and out.

It did however make me focus on other aspects of my life. When I was bigger that was the single thing I focussed on as the cause of my unhappiness. When that was gone I was forced to face up to other things in life that possibly weren't was I would like as my weight was no longer an issue.

Give yourself time xxx
 
The head stuff has been my down fall every time and I talk myself out of my diet.

For I found it very difficult most of the time to see myself slim except in photos side by side.

In the last few weeks something has clicked and I have experienced a mind shift and seem to been able to look at myself objectively and accept the changes as positive and actually like what I see in the mirror for a change and I have stopped being over critical of myself and my appearance. My expectations are more realistic.

I have discovered a new appreciation for myself and I like where I am now and hope I can stay in this state of mind...it has taken three years for me to get here, as I have been on and off the diet and up and down with my weight.

Throwing my achievements away because I did not fit some ideal I had in my head of myself, finding myself almost back to square one last March...which was a huge shock.:sigh:

I know some break through this head stuff and get to this place a lot quicker as I lagged behind and I began to think it was beyond my reach which added to my own self doubt at times.

It is literally about being comfortable in your own skin and accepting and appreciating yourself where you are now.

You have worked very hard to get here, you have earned the right to wear that size 14...don't let the negative head stuff take it away from you...I know it is easier said than done but look at your trigger points...what sets you off thinking like this?

Along with clearing out the old big sizes from the wardrobe we also have to clear out the old baggage from our past that no longer serves who we are today or want to be.


Love Mini xxx
 
I sometimes get this too, I see the photo's that I've put on here, I am wearing smaller clothes, I *know* that I am a lot smaller than I was, and yet when I look in the mirror, I struggle to see what I know to be true.

I think the mind really does need time to adjust to how different your body becomes, and because we se ourselves all day every day, it is harder for us to notice changes (both good and bad) quickly.

If you could stand next to your old self, and actually see for real how you used to look, then it'd be so so apparant how different you are now.

Just remember, you are wearing a size 14, you ARE a size 14, and you HAVE to be slimmer to have dropped 4 dress sizes (and what an achivement!)

Keep going, stay strong, you'll see youself as you really are soon enough :)
 
I want to be slim again, and I won't give up on this diet it means too much to me.
At the moment while I am larger, I just see the fat as the problem, that everything will be ok when I am slim again.
But I remember when I have been 8 stone and 9.5 stone (a size 6/8 and size 10) I didn't feel slim, as I haven't had the most supportive family, they have always called me fat. When I looked in the mirror then, size wise I thought I was fairly ok/ a bit chubby - but I used to focus on other stuff. Are my eyes big enough? Are they too close together? Are all my features in proportion? Is my nose too big or too small? Is my top lip too small in comparison with my bottom lip? etc etc etc
That in itself made me paranoid & depressed. I have never been 100% happy with my body. I don't think anyone is, but I am worried as at the moment I just feel horrible because of how big I am, but as the weight stops to come off and I become happier with my body, I am so worried I am going to start becoming paranoid about my face again. The weight I can change, but my face I can't. I don't think I'm ugly when I'm slim, I just don't think I'm pretty enough.

I know everyone says beauty is on the inside, but how can you be beautiful on the inside if you don't love yourself for what you are?
 
i think we all need to re love ourselves and re discover ourselves, we were hiding behind the rolls as comfort now that is going its like a blanket being lifted off x
 
RIGHT SERENA, what do you think your playing at, being in a size 14 before me, sulking like you wouldnt believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darling, you were beautiful inside and out before you lost weight, and what I would like to say, is that Iam PROUD to call you my friend!!!
You know that I had the same thing happen to me a while back and it was you and the others in the group that helped me so much.
The cd diet will get the weight off, but for me thats only been half the battle, less than half actually, my head is mean to me, and tells me horrible, negative thoughts all the time, and its sooooo hard not listening to those thoughts, some days I give into them and hide away at home, other days I ignore them and make a real effect to feel well and happy in mind and body, I have to make that happen, because failure has always been easier for me.
Like many have said, it will take time for your head to catch up, but take it from me, your lovely,and you SHOULD like yourself inside and out, theres only one of you,and your amazing,a friend who has helped me and inspired me no end.
You know how to get hold of me anytime!!!!!!!!!!
Finally could I just say, when you have with finished with your size 14, please can I have them, I can wear them as shorts, running and hiding now,lol.
Huggles beautiful one!!!!Excited to see you tonight!!!!!!!!
 
Thanks everyone, I needed someone to metaphorically shake me by the shoulders and talk some sense at me. I'm having to face up to issues that I could (unfairly) blame on my weight before and now I'm feeling like someone has pressed a self-destruct button in my head :(

Penny you can have my jeans as hotpants anyday you gorgeous leggy lady xx
 
Hey luvvy, I had a similar conversation with Penny the other week and you're not alone, I think we all have struggles with body image and how we look in our heads (or in our magic mirrors that still show us as a size 18!) as opposed to how we actually look to others. You are such a star to be in a 14 and when Penny is finished with your size 14 "hotpants", i'll have them for a wee shot too!!!

You're an inspiration to all your sisters and I am sooooo looking forward to meeting you all in the future - hopefully by that time we will all be in a better head place.

xx
 
It was 6 stone till I started to think I was looking better although I had tonnes to lose and tend to think the first few stone dont make that much image difference when I was that much overweight.
Its a fact that you will get used to seeing yourself and this does take a while. I still sometimes have to remind myself and have scared myself in the mirror a few times.
You are nearly there now and stick at it you will start to see the differences soon, and as im finding out the lower stone make far more difference, you are on the last 3 stone so I promise each stone now will make a far bigger difference than those youve lost so far. I'm taller and carry weight fairly well but from 5stone to lose the last 2 1/2stone have made a huge difference where before that there wasnt that obvious difference stone by stone.
Stick in there and before you know it you will be seeing Kylie in the mirror.
 
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Hi serena,I hope everyone has talked some sense into you on this one....hey girl what you see in the mirror is definatley not what we see you look fantastic..blimey I made you get up and twirl for us last week as I couldnt believe what I was seeing,now you wear your figure hugging clothes which look blinking fab...see ya later
xx
 
I know how it feels - I am approaching the midway point (have about 3 stone to lose after losing 2st 7lb). I felt like I was happier/better grounded and stronger at my fattest weight, prolly because I had been that weight for about a decade and had bought into the 'big beautiful doll' image - which is ok.

However I came off track for a day - ate some food from hubby's 45th b'day and boy did I regret it!!! My stomach ballooned and I was uncomfortable and I felt that I had put 2 stone back on, whereas the scales the next day hadnt budged an inch. But it made me realise that actually I WAS happier at my new weight and I was super keen to get back on track. I also started to wear a bit of make up to stop myself looking pale and moisturised more - bingo, I felt, for the first time, like a million dollars.

I think part of it is the season too - more temptations etc. The plus side is, we are all in this together and lets look towards looking fab this crimbletide :-D
 
Hi Serena, I hope you don't mind my chipping in. I felt similar to you as I have always hated my stomach but when I got really large it was the least of my problems! As I moved down through the dress sizes I went from feeling pretty chuffed with myself at 16 to starting to fret about my stomach again when in a 14.

It seemed nuts to be more negative at a smaller size but thats how I felt. Then I started thinking about how I had always been too critical about myself when I was slim and I felt a bit panicky that I would end up not being satisfied with myself and pile the weight back on again.

I carried on with LT anyway, and I have gradually calmed down. As you get nearer to your goal the difference does get a lot more noticeable as peeps have said. As I have adjusted to that I have started to feel that it is ok to just be the best me, and that I don't have to be perfect cos nobody is. I've even started to accept my stomach is always gonna be there, a bit bigger than I like, no matter how much I fret about it.

I think these are normal feelings as it takes time to adjust to such big changes, and it is clear from the posts that even if you are crazy, you are not on your own x
 
Tara you're stats are amazing - well done :clap: You must be overjoyed :)
 
Thanks Katie, I am pretty chuffed but wouldn't have managed it without minis x
 
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