Self sabotage - why bother

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by evilpenguin, 29 April 2010 Social URL.

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  1. evilpenguin

    evilpenguin Not evil at all

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    Hi guys

    Bit of a rant I guess. At my class last night, and every other night I've been there's been a few people who either maintained or gained but then they'll laugh and say things like "oh I had a chippy, then a wee bar of chocolate" and I just think why?? It's as if they come to class just to meet their friends. I think it sets a bad example for new members. Does anyone else have people like this at their class? Funnily enough it seems to be the same people who can't shut up and let the C talk that do this!

    Don't get me wrong, I know how easy it is to go off track and have a bad week, but I would never laugh about it and act like I didn't even care at class. I have started thinking really positively about SW and whenever I have a craving for something I don't just give in, cos I don't see the point anymore - I'm not going to lose weight by cheating myself and the plan. Wish I could understand these people who seem to cheat themselves every week and think it's funny!
     
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  3. Going2be*fab*at40

    Going2be*fab*at40 Silver Member

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    Think that there must be a group of similar people in every class!
    I used to struggle to understand, but for some, I think it is a social event.
    I let it wash over me now - after all, it's their life and money,and not mine :-D
    (I do hate the laughing about how bad they've been though!)
     
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  4. judimac

    judimac Mad old Bat with Attitude

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    Same here! Can't understand why they aren't losing weight, but go out for meals 2-3 times a week, and drink like fishes!
     
  5. alwyn

    alwyn Silver Member

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    I must admit, I do use the evening at class as a social event as well. I only see these people once a week and it's nice to catch up and see how their week's been.

    But I know I'm personally serious about the plan and want to see it work for me! I must be quite lucky with my group, because we all try our best each week and we don't seem to have a group like EP describes.
     
  6. devotchka

    devotchka Full Member

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    It annoys me too.
    But I think it can be difficult to have the willpower, and it's probably a way to stop themselves feeling utterly crap about themselves. Which they shouldn't. Everyone has a hard time with it occasionally, and they shouldn't be made to feel awful about it. Not everyone has the same dieting experience. I think those are the people that need help and empathy most.
     
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  7. carrick

    carrick Full Member

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    HI,
    I think all classes have people like this as was said earlier, its annoying but its only themselves they are letting down and wasting their money! I know its easy to have a bad couple of weeks, we have all been there but if you're not gonna stick to it dont bother coming to class.
     
  8. Sally_Cinnamon

    Sally_Cinnamon doesn't have a witty name

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    Hmmm, this is a tricky one.

    It's quite possible that by *seeming* not to take their diet seriously, these people are trying to laugh off their own struggle with willpower. Some people find it quite easy to tap into their willpower, and to draw on other people in the group as a support system. But there are lots of people who really struggle with sticking to a plan, for all sorts of reasons, but then find that "laughing it off" is an easier way of dealing with it than facing it head on and dealing with the demons it brings--you know, the "I'm alright" mentality, when really, inwardly, they're anything but alright. Maybe they did have chippie and chocolate, and maybe they are a bit laissez faire with the plan, but kudos to them for still going to the group. There's probably something much deeper going on inside, and whilst I hate to make assumptions about an individual's motivations (especially when I don't know them) I think it's quite likely that they have (like a lot of us) some real issues with self esteem and with a fear of success. It's much easier to be publicly blase about maintaining or gaining weight if you openly admit that you've not followed the plan. And if you're not really trying then you don't have to deal with the possibility of really failing.

    Not sure if that makes sense...
     
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  9. ShweetThang

    ShweetThang Full Member

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    I agree with 'Sally_Cinnamon', good on people for even turning up when they have had a bad week. People cope with things in different ways.
     
  10. evilpenguin

    evilpenguin Not evil at all

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    Thanks for your opinions guys! Glad to hear my group isn't the only one with people who do this. Sally - your comments make a lot of sense. I was meaning more the people who every week will be cheeky to the C about what they've done that week and laugh at how many Mars bars they ate and not give a toss about the C's advice, not the people who genuinely follow the plan 100% and have small blips then laugh them off and move on for the next week. Hope that makes sense!
     
  11. mumtheshopper

    mumtheshopper Silver Member

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    They may well be struggling, may well publicly laugh it off, then go home and cry their eyes outr. I know I've done this on occasion. When esteem is low, publicly laughing at yourself, and picking on your own faults are a way of dealing with it. It's easier than tackling it head on.

    Lynda
     
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  12. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    Everyone's journey is different and fair play to them for going.
    I've been going for 3 years and I go each week whether I've been good or bad. As a target member I could quite easily not bother going if I've had a bad week but I do go and I face the music. I have eaten rubbish this week and I'll be honest about it and I'll probably laugh about it. I don't need the consultant's advice, I know what to do - she doesn't need to tell me.

    There are a fair few people at my group who have gained and lost the same stone in the years I've been going. They go for social but also they go for themselves. If they didn't go they would be 4 or 5 stone heavier because the gained stone would never be lost again.

    They are not wasting their money if they want to be there, it's up to them. Agreed, not everyone takes it seriously but surely that's their choice?
     
  13. evilpenguin

    evilpenguin Not evil at all

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    Yep it's definitely their choice! I just felt as a relatively new member to the class it was kind of off putting seeing people who have been there for ages and never lost any weight. What kind of advert is that? A lot of new members are already suspicious of being able to eat all the free foods and do extra easy and still lose weight, it could be the wrong kind of message to send to them when people are doing whatever they please.
     
  14. jaylou

    jaylou Gold Member

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    Fair comment - but what do you suggest? The consultant asks them to leave?!
    Just being flippant but I'm sure there are a lot of inspirational members at your group. If people are suspicious of being able to eat all the food they should be reassured by the consultant and the members who do take it seriously. We have about 50 in my group and I'd say there are only 4 or 5 who are "social" members.
     
  15. evilpenguin

    evilpenguin Not evil at all

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    No of course not!! I just wish I could tell them how amazing it is to follow the plan and get the losses you want, even after a bad day! Rather than it turn into a bad week, then a bad month etc etc. Yep there are loads of members who are inspirational, and a few target members too. Think I feel this way because I see people who ruin it for themselves, just like I used to, and I think "one day they'll be my size and have to go through what I'm going through". Do you know what I mean? It's Mars bars that I didn't care about that got me here in the first place.
     
  16. Going2be*fab*at40

    Going2be*fab*at40 Silver Member

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    I think that its something you get used to in time.
    As a new member in January, I found it incredibly off-putting and debated returning to group. It just felt wrong.
    However, over the last few months, as I've got to know everyone, I can see that there is much more to it and just let it wash over me.
    Perhaps, when there are new people in the group, the consultant could find a way of explaining it (I'm no expert, so please don't shoot me down), perhaps at the new members talk or something??

    I think that this is what you were referring to in the 1st place EP?
     
  17. ilovelife

    ilovelife Wishing and hoping!

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    why worry about what others are doing, as long as your doing the best, **** it!
     
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