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Shos - getting real....

S: 18st1lb G: 13st1lb
So I am two weeks into this diet and i have already lost 11lb and put 4lb back on!! a big part of me thinks it was worth every pound as i had the best weekend ever... another part of me is wondering how good i would be feeling if id managed to stay 100% and actually loose....

But this diary is about getting real so there is no point in thinking like that.

I really want to loose this weight - 63lbs of it to be exact!! The reality is i know i would never be able to be 100% every day... food and alcohol are part of every celebration and social event and i know myself - i would feel deprived of enjoyment and give up if i did not allow myself a day off when i have something on - im not talking a drink after work, i am just meaning weddings and partys and er weekends away!! In reality though, i was actually pretty tame this weekend - well not with alcohol... but with food i was much more restrained and did not go mad - i really just did not need to, but wine will always be my downfall....

so I have a friends birthday drinks to go to on Friday, but i have chosen to drive and stick to my fizzy water - i managed it a few weeks ago and it was actually fine - not a struggle at all and i still had loads of fun. BUT i have wedding on Saturday and i know fine well there is no way i wont eat... so I am offering to drive so at least i wont drink as well.

I dont know if im doing this right - in fact i suspect that i am going into this with completely the wrong mindset but having regular cheat days, but i find the diet so blergh that i could not manage it without knowing i have stuff to look forward to and a break to have....
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If your unconventional approach works, if you are losing weight and finding you can stick to your plan, then fine. We all need to find our own way and you seem to be happy with the way you are going about it.

Don't let guilt, or fear that your losses won't match another's, put you off. If you can 'cheat' now and then without losing the plot, then just carry on!

Good luck x
S: 18st1lb G: 13st1lb
Struggling today... nearly opened a pack of biscuits at work but managed to put them down and choke down my bar with a cup of tea instead. Then I had to go to the local indian resturant to book food for a party.... that was HARD i could smell the food and i was very very close to saying "bugger it" having a takeaway.... but i resisted so the one fish finger i nicked from my sons tea should be ok!!!!

If I can just focus on sticking it out until Saturday I know I will loose this week - Though you are right Girlygirl, my approach is unconventional and I dont expect to get the big losses that other people get - but 3 -5lb a week is fine for me, I dont mind slow and I dont mind sticking to TS for 6 days a week, as long as i dont go mad on the day off. Alcohol is my downfall though - i find if i drink, i drink LOADS and then i will end up eating LOADS even though im not hungry, just drunk!!!! But oddly I'm not missing the drink at all really, which i guess is good.. x
S: 18st1lb G: 13st1lb
Yep it was a challenging day but today feels like a big FAIL - all day at work - no problems staying 100% but the same old story... i get home, i cook kids tea..... i ended up eating 3 sausages .... dont even know why because it was not hunger - it was the smell.

I am so dissappointed in myself and lack of willpower - i need to get on top of this .... i wish i could have held on to the wedding at the weekend where i had planned to have a day off, now i just feel terrible... im not going to have my soup this evening but 3 sausages is definitely way more than 200 calories let alone the fat content.... arggghhhh!!!!!! I am sooooo bloody annoyed with myself.

What is wrong with me? Why cant i just not eat stuff when i get home? I resisted cakes, biscuits and lovely creamy coffee at work today with absolutely not problem - but the minute i get in its all down the pan.... ah well, back on the saddle tomorrow and see how i get on with my night out............. wish me luck!!!

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