Slimming World Abuse!

How have I missed this thread before?

Made me laugh so much I had to tighten my pelvic floor
 
1.COUS COUS ABUSE!

Thou shalt not grind up cous cous and use it to make cakes without synning it. 28g of ground up cous cous is 5 syns. Same goes for polenta, bulgar wheat, rice and any other grain you use to make cheaty puddings. SLIMMING WORLD LAUGHS HEARTILY AT YOUR PUDDINGS! Did you really think you could make your cake and eat it too?!


2.BLENDING YOUR FRUIT

Thou shalt not have smoothies with blended fruit because thou shalt eat twenty apples in one glass and make yourself sick and blame Slimming World because they told you fruit was free. (You can blend your veg though because as Gillian McKeith proved so many times, no one really likes carrot and cucumber smoothies)


3.EATING PEAS ON A RED DAY

Thou shalt not eat peas on a red day because you will eat soooo many of them you will pop. Plus they have loads of sugary badness in them that magically melts away when you do a green day though we won’t tell you how or why. Ditto sweetcorn.


4.NOT WEIGHING AND MEASURING HEXes

Thou shalt weigh and measure because that’s not 227g of SW chips, that’s 227KG of SW chips! Thou shalt weigh and measure because that 64g bun contains twice the fat of a 57g bun! Thou shalt weigh and measure because 250ml of semi skimmed milk will NOT be enough for a bowl of Weetabix and 6 cups of tea. Thou shalt weigh and measure because surely 42g of cheese shouldn’t be able to fill an entire ciabatta (and what are you doing eating ciabatta anyway???)


5.NOT REFERRING TO THE BIBLE FOR SYNS

The Bible states that on the first 6 days, her Ladyship Margaret Miles Bramwell made Slimming World. On the 7th day, she did nothing. It didn’t help her Body Magic but it gave her a break from obsessing over whether or not to have that final 99 flake (2.5 SYNS). The least you could do is read it.


6.CALLING SW A ‘DIET’

Thou shalt not call Slimming World a diet because it’s not. It’s a healthy way of eating for life. Call it a diet and you’ll soon be off down the chippy with the rest of the gang from your nearest Weight Watchers class. Go home and make SW burger and chips instead. Tastes nicer, and your pants fit better.


7.NOT BELIEVING IN THE POWER OF FREE FOOD

Thou shalt eat free food til it comes out of your ears, and not be scared of having an extra chicken breast and not be scared if your plate looks fuller than the Jolly Green Giant’s. EAT until you are full. But eat the right things. Yes you can eat bananas, yes you can eat eggs. No you can’t substitute them for chocolate because bananas have too much sugar and eggs raise your cholesterol. That’s all bollocks, you know!

Ha, ha, ha, ha :8855:
 
Gonna print this off - its brill & soooooooooooooooo true!
 
Omg pmsl bet my consultant would love to read this haha might copy it for group Tuesday
 
Ha ha! Love it!
 
love it thank you
 
And the latest one, thou shall not make crisps up in the microwave or bake them in the oven. You will become a proper little syner!!! ha ha
 
And the latest one, thou shall not make crisps up in the microwave or bake them in the oven. You will become a proper little syner!!! ha ha

Oh no - i've just discovered these - are they not free then :cry:
 
Oh no - i've just discovered these - are they not free then :cry:

No there is a message on Slimming World Support Facebook page stating this today. As said though, I suppose it depends how many you eat, I just dont go there with with tweatks coz I would end up stuffing my face again, and so the cravings would start. Sorry to be the bringer of bad news :(
 
And we dont want to go down that road again do we. Worked too bl****l hard to get to the point where I dont crave stuff like that anymore. :)
 
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