Laura - I have so many questions! One (or two...or three!) things I would like to ask you - based on your experience as a LL locum - why do you think people struggle so much after RtM? And do you know how many people do RtM and then jump ship, thinking they are done?
And in your experience, if people to RtM to the letter, do they have better success?
I just typed the most massive reply to your post and lost it ... is there anything more annoying in this world???? grrrrr! I really must remember to copy my post to the clipboard before I attempt to post in future.
Ok I will try to remember what I wrote (although it is very early in the morning for my poor remaining brain cell!)
There are various reasons for why people struggle after RTM. But I think I have managed to whittle it down to my top 3 most common reasons:
1. Not using the CBT/TA and especially thought records
2. Not taking responsibility and allowing support networks to crumble
3. Mentally adjusting to new lifestyle
1. I see so many clients who tell me that they haven't ever tried to do a thought record. They covered it in foundation and understood it - but never tried to actually do one. OR same as above but when the time came to try to do one, and it really mattered, it didn't seem to have much impact so they wrote it off as usless.
I can't stress enough how getting thought records down to a fine art will save your ass time and time again. The problem is that is does take practice to get them right. If you can't identify your "true" hot thought then you will not get to the bottom of what is bothering you. IF you are doing a thought record correctly then identifying the hot thought should make you feel uncomfortable as you should be digging around where your emotions and feelings are most raw or unpleasant. The first thought that jumps into your head is NEVER the real reason you are feeling tempted/sad/lonely/bored etc etc etc. Practice makes perfect and the more you do them the more triggers to eating you can identify and work on to stop them bothering you again in future.
2. How many times have I heard clients (and myself) saying "Its just NOT FAIR!" - I was truly alarmed when I realised how much of my life I spent in a jealous, nasty child state of mind. Grumbling to myself about how everyone's life was so much easier than mine etc etc etc. Where did that get me???? Absolutely nowhere, it just wasted time I could have been using to make my life better.
You need to be able to REALLY take responsibility for your own weight. This is the absolute crux to maintainence. No matter what has happened in your week, everything you put in your mouth was your own responsibility. Like it or not that is the truth of it. When I say this to people they look at me like I am cruel. But I am really trying to help them. Life happens whether you are on a diet or not, whether you are maintaining a huge weight loss or not, people you care about get sick and die, kids get in trouble at school, your car breaks down outside McDonalds etc etc etc. Life gets in the way. I am not saying that you should all be soldiers of will power and self restraint and never, ever turn to food in a crisis again (that would be totally unrealistic) but - when it comes to evaulating "why" (which you should always be doing) you have a gain or have lapsed completely.... then the answer should always come from your adult - the only response is "I chose to". NOT that "well my dog ate all my foodpacks and I didn't have the car so I couldn't get into the office to get any - so I HAD TO have a pizza".
If you don't take responsibility for your own actions in EVERY situation then the big bad world is not going to be nice to you forever, something will come up and give you the perfect "excuse" to break out and eat eat eat.
3. It takes TIME to adjust to your new lifestyle. And you will have to accept that your lifestyle is going to be significantly different than it was pre-LL. If you always do what you always did - you will always get what you always got. Portion sizes are a classic example of this. You finish RTM and you are watching what you are eating like a hawk, but as time goes on, they start to creep up and up and up until you are eating similar mountains of rice and potatoes that you were before. This is not just greediness, it is because you haven't accepted the most basic truth of the programme (and it is not as simple as it sounds) you don't need very much food to keep the new smaller version of yourself ticking over.
I liken it to cars, If you have a big ass land rover and you fill it up at a petrol station it will cost approx £55 and take you about 300 miles before it runs out of fuel and needs filling up again.
If you then part-ex your land rover for a mini - that same 300 miles will only need 1/2 that petrol and cost you 1/2 as much at the petrol station.
Sounds so easy doesn't it - but until you accept that as a core belief and stop feeling deprived that you can't eat the way you did before without putting weight on - then you will either struggle, feeling resentment at every corner, or you will lapse.
I think my first post was better but I hope that all makes sense to you.
Right better go and do some work for a living
Hope you all have a great day
Kisses
Laura
