Slinks back in with tail between legs

[AmandaJayne]

Mornin' Laura,

I loved this post. Absolutely spot on in every respect. I just wanted to reiterate what you said about thought records.

quote "I can't stress enough how getting thought records down to a fine art will save your ass time and time again"

I know this because for a while I did them assidiously and they DID help. I typed out my own form and printed of copies when I needed them. I took them on holiday (when SSing) and filled them in about four times over the week, usually when having a pity party about not being able to eat when the rest of the family did. Then, I guess I must have become complacent and gradually they played less of a role.

BIG MISTAKE

If there is one bit of adivce I would give LLers (or CDers come to that), is it try to do the thought records. It will be difficult and arkward at first, but they do become easier. You may not understand the point of them for a while, but actually they come into their own when off the packs and back onto food. I am certain that had I done thought records after returning to food full-time I would not be in the sad position I am today.

Please learn from my mistakes:sigh:.

I'm just off to do a thought record...

Before I go, I'll just mention another good point you made, Laura

quote "I was truly alarmed when I realised how much of my life I spent in a jealous, nasty child state of mind"

Oh boy, that strikes a chord with me. I still struggle with my 'child' persona. The transactional analysis really showed me how I refuse to take responsibility for my actions, around food. It did take a while to understand the TA concept and it was quite a while before it began to sink in for me.

[quoteYou need to be able to REALLY take responsibility for your own weight. This is the absolute crux to maintainence=chunkychicken;584932]

Oh boy Laura, you ain't kidding. This is why I know that returning to SSing is not the answer for me. I have gone beyond that point and now have to use the tools at my disposal to change my attidudes. I loved SSing, it was so easy for me for most of the time.

quote "If you always do what you always did - you will always get what you always got"

I love this quote, Laura. It does what it says on the tin.

So, when doing LL you will receive the tools to use when you get to your goal weight to help you stay there.

BUT YOU HAVE TO USE THEM OR LOSE THEM! It really is that simple.

I hope that this clarifies things for anyone who is on the early stages of LL and wonders what happens afterward. If you don't learn the lesson, you'll soon be back to square one...it's really up to you. It's your responsibility, no-one elses.

Have a great day Laura, and everyone else. I'm feeling much better after the migraine yesterday!

AJ

 

[sun]

I've coming singing loudly for you Laura, you are one lovely inspirational intelligent beautiful lady x

Good to see you posting again AJ and Mrs Lard

sun xxx

 

[MsJMC]

Hi Laura , sorry you didn't get the Job , but i'm sure you will get another good one ! Hows SS going ?

 

[chunkychicken]

Mi MrsJMC

Thanks for the nice message I am ok thank you.
Managed to get through the weekend - although I find weekends so much more difficult that weekdays. My OH is a big piggy (no nice way to say it) and although he is a real skinny ribs - he goes on a bender at the weekend. In two days he has demolished (baring in mind he is 10 stone wet through)... a family sized pack of doritios, 5 kit kat senses, a cinema sized bag of minstrels, same sized bag of M&M's, several bowls of cereal (as a snack).... the list goes on and on.

Oh well, there is no point crying about it - that is the sad fact of my "journey" my OH will always eat like that at the weekend and I will always have to abstain from that kind of eating if I want to maintain my weight. Its no good sitting there saying "its not fair" - the fact is I have a choice...

1. choose to eat like my OH and gain weight.
2. choose to find healthier alternatives to graze on while he is in binge mode and maintain weight.
3. (ideal) stop thinking I have to eat every time someone else does and learn to stick to 3 meals a day with perhaps 1 planned snack.

Before I went back on abstinence I sometimes could manage number 2 but I still felt very hard done to. Hopefully I can make it to number 3 one day!!!

Treated myself to some "how to look good naked" magic underwear this weekend - its called a miraclesuit - good lord it does the business. Its like a soft corset - bloomin great it is!! I have to pull some funny faces whilst trying to get into it though I can tell you"!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weighed again on Sat am before my RTM group and weightloss totals 10.4lb already so really, really pleased with that. Won't be able to do an official "week 1" weigh in as it should be tonight and I am not working at LL again until Wednesday - hoping to have reached a stone by then (fingers crossed).

Have a great day all
Laura
x

 

[DramaQueen]

Hello there CC,

I don't know if you remember me, I was starting out as you were coming to the end of your journey, you were a source of great inspiration to me. Well, nearly 8 months on I am 7 stones lighter. Up until 10 days ago I was feeling FANTASTIC. Have maintained abstinance (really struggled some days) but it is well worth the fight.

I have just come back from a planned holiday and can't believe how much i struggled being back in the world of food. I realy thought I would be fine, but it is so bloody hard, the old ways and temptations seem to come back in a flash. the old "greed devil" was waiting for me. I have literally struggled with temptaion for 10 days. Some days i won and some days I lost! I appreciate that I have not done RTM and in some ways I think my holiday was a mistake, just to be thrown back into the world of food - scary.

I am back from holiday and back on the packs today. I could not believe it when I logged in and saw your thread - truly sent from heaven above. You make so much sense. Thank you for all your VERY WISE WORDS. I am more determind than ever to complete my journey - about 1 and 1/2 stone to go. I never thought I would say this but I am delighted to be back in abstinance!

Wonderful to hear from the old gang, You, Mrs L, & Sun especially.

Good luck on your journey, you know you can and will do it.

Much love

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[chunkychicken]

Hi DramaQueen

Of course I remember you (but there is so much less of you to remember now!!)
Way to go with your weightloss that is incredible progress! I can't stress enough how important RTM is and how much of a culture shock returning to the world of food is. From the sound of things you have done really well solo and should be proud that without any support whatsoever that you put up a fair fight with your chatterbox.
It can be a welcome relief (has been for me this past week) to have all food choices removed and be back in abstinence again - I am glad you are feeling that way. With a positive attitude like that you will have that stone off in no time at all and be raring to go with RTM.
I would definitely use the battles you lost whilst on holiday as learning experiences and see if there is a pattern to be found - if you already have already identified some of your weak times around food when you start RTM - you will have a great head-start!

Good luck with the rest of your journey - it was really lovely to hear from you and I am touched that my post helped you.
Take care
Laura

 

[DramaQueen]

Your post helped more than you could ever know, it was so timely. I have cut and pasted all your quotes and knowledge into my " read when struggling page" My chatterbox is such a force but my will to be slim is stronger!!!! In a werid way I now think, my time in the food world will have helped me, not only because when you are in abstinance you really glamourize food, you think it is going to taste so heavenly and make you feel so good and the cold hard truth is it does not do any of those things it is only food (fuel). but also beacuse I know that temptaion is never far away and you have to be on guard constantly. So at least for the last part of my journey I can remember that and finish the job!!!

Thank you once again & keep us posted on your progress

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

[AmandaJayne]

DramaQueen!

Many congratulations, you must be thrilled to bits. Please, please, please do not do what I did (and many others) and allow the 'crooked thoughts' to let you believe that 'a bit here' and 'a bit there' won't really make a difference. The difference is in your head, and one thing will lead to another. There is no quick or easy fix I'm sad to say. Question every thought you have, write it down if you can (thought record).

If you are not careful the weight will creep back on, and one day you will realise that you've been had - the crooked thoughts have won, and you've got another battle ahead. Older and now, wiser!

AJ

 

[sun]

here here AJ!, I couldnt have written exactly that, well I did lol!, it certainly will come back and bite you on ya bum.

Loat 2lbs on WW this week, am very pleased.

How are you Laura?

sun xx

 

[chunkychicken]

Hi AJ & Sun

You are both so lovely to be so open and pass on your experiences on for others to learn from. AJ - you know how I feel about thought records - they really are an essential bit of kit on your maintenance toolkit. I also drifted from using them as often as I should have - with similar consequences to yourself. I don't intend to make that mistake again. I definitely got into the mindset of "maintenance should just take care of itself" especially as I felt I "deserved" a rest after all the hard work of abstinence and RTM. I can now see clearly the crooked thinking involved in those statements and hope I have learned my lesson for good this time.

Hi Sun - congratualtions on losing 2lb this week - am I right in thinking you are doing WW now? How are you finding it?

Feeling a bit weary today so looking forward to going home for my 5pm bar (how sad is that) and a glass of LL champagne (fizzy water and fruits of the forest) and a well earned evening off from my second job. I feel I "should" be doing more and getting some additional exercise this evening - but I am trying to listen to my body and it is screaming at me to rest. So sofa and duvet and DVD it is for me!!

Have a nice afternoon/evening all !
Kisses
Laura

 

[MsJMC]

Hi Laura , hows it going today ? what day are you on ? day 12 for me today . Still hanging in there

 

[cassiopeia]

Hi Laura you're doing fantastically! I can share your job woes with you - I just got a double whammy of rejections this morning for a post grad course I really wanted to do; am trying to see it as an excellent opportunity not to comfort eat to make myself feel better! I've also been having some quality duvet time - was your DVD any good? I need inspiration for my lovefilm wanted list! XXXXX

 

[chunkychicken]

Hi Cassiopea

Thanks for the message - it can be hard to see the bright side when you don't get the news you want with any opportunity, but I am trying, like you, to take a fatalistic view that there must be a reason and there is something better around the corner!
Comfort eating will not get you on the course or me a better job and that is the truth of it. Must keep reminding myself that the only problem that eating solves is genuine hunger!
I watched the cheesiest of cheesy films to cheer myself up though - Disney's enchanted. I didn't think I would enjoy it after watching the first 5 mins - (very disney and OTT) but I gave it a chance and really enjoyed it - funny and lovely ending.... awwwwww.
Other than that I am a bit of a DVD boxset fan and currently making my way though Without a Trace season 4 and also Waking the Dead season 3. Really enjoying both. guess I am a bit of a collector at heart, owning every episode of a series makes me happy (sad eh?). My prized possession is seasons 1-5 of 24 - awesome!
Quality duvet time rocks!
Having a tough time with my chatterbox today who keeps telling me that I can come of abstinence now and just "eat salad" to lose the rest. I always crave such healthy food when I am on foodpacks and my evil chatterbox plays on this to convince me that "I am cured" and I won't go back to eating crud. It would be so easy to cave in..... but I can't this time. Must stay strong.

Have a great day all
Laura

 

[x-Katie-x]

Sorry to hear your chatterbox is playing up - it's a real struggle that one isn't it ... mine went on and on last Saturday, drove me potty. Hopefully the rest of today won't be as bad for you --- can't blame you for liking box sets, I could quite go for those too, especially Waking the Dead - brilliant series, cant' wait to watch last nights

Ms JMC well done for getting to day 12 of it

 

[cassiopeia]

Interesting - my number one ss food craving is salad too - oh for a raw spinach leaf! If only our minds/bodies felt the same when in management! Am struggling with similar thoughts, but I think if we set out to do ss for the time we intended to, it honours our integrity and self discipline and makes it stronger.

Oh Enchanted is a wonderful film and you have no reason to feel embarrassed! I hadn't realised it'd come out yet on DVD - I reckon it could stand at least 3 more watchings - Amy Adams is fantastic, and I thought the songs were really high quality too. And the cleaning scene!

 

[chunkychicken]

Hi everyone

Well it is day 10 for me today and I am happy to report that after a particularly long and protracted battle that involved lots of expletives and grumbling - my chatterbox has shut up! HURRAY!
Feeling much better today and feeling significantly smaller to boot. Put on my work trousers this morning (which I last had on Wed last week) and I can't believe the difference in the fit. So have been swooshing around my office enjoying the fact that instead of them being sprayed on to my bum, tum and thighs, they are wafting pleasantly and barely touching my skin!!

I have so missed this feeling - it was exactly what I needed and has really spurred me on. Looking forward to standing on the scales tonight at work and seeing how I am doing - will report tomorrow.

Downing the water as usual (sometimes I swear I can hear yself sloshing as I walk!) and generally just getting on with it today - so not much else to report. Other than the fact that I want to kidnap Gok Wan from How to look good naked!! I watched it last night and that man is my hero!! Can't wait to go shopping (with his book in hand so I don't go wrong!) and feel like I look great everyday (currently I have about 2 outfits that I like myself in and everything else was a case of "that will do" from a charity shop or a hand me down. Its about time I spent some dosh on myself I think! (once I am done of course!).

Hope you are all having a great day and are enjoying the swooshy trousers feeling.
kisses
Laura

 

[MsJMC]

Yes i watched a bit of that last night Laura , fancy doing that in the shop window ARRRR i would die lol He does wear some way out stuff that bloke lol hes the only one that would get away with it . hey seeing a difference in clothes already thats great , 10 days already , wow time goes fast . Ok well better go , catch up later all

 

[chunkychicken]

Hello folks

Just a quick update to say that I weighed in last night and have now lost 14.6lbs!
I am so pleased it is untrue.

Not much else to say other than it is a lovely sunny day here in Manchester for once (still freezing though - although not sure if that isn't due to the ketosis!) so feeling happy to not be wet with scraggy hair for the first time in weeks.

Glad to hear that all is going well for you as well MrsJMC - keep on truckin'

Have a nice day all!
Love Laura
xx

 

[Eileen]

WOW well done Laura im following your thread too see how you do.

 

[x-Katie-x]

Laura that really is excellent, really happy that you've made such a good start xx