Redpam
Living the Life
This may be a long rant so I wont mind if you switch off but I think I may feel better if I write it all down.
As some of you know My DH and I have had a very rocky time culminating in a visit to a Relate Counsellor 6 weeks ago. She was awful and told us she thought we had left it too late -" thats £40 thank you, the hour is up" My DH was very angry after the meeting although I said nothing that I had not said to him before. He took himself off to a solicitor in the morning and she told him he could get more from me than my Solcitor had told me. She said something to him that he would not tell me. It was to my detriment and it made him really angry. He came home and said he could not stand the thought of being away from me. Since then he has really tried hard to be a better husband and it is more like old times - really good. He has been more helpful in the house too.
On the other hand my DS who is 17 is making our lives hell. He got together with his girlfriend in February and they live in each others pockets. He has to take tablets for his condition and she has told him she does not like him taking them as they make him tired at night (her words). So he has stopped taking them and his temper knows no bounds.
I bought him a car and insured it last month on the condition that he paid for his driving lessons from his part time job. He has taken so much time off because he wants to be with her that he has lost the job and now expects me to pay for them. I have said no way!
Anyway to cut a long story a bit short, while browsing the internet I found a lovely house for sale in Portugal. It is really cute. My DH loved it too. So last Thursday DH, my lovely Mum (90) and I flew to Portugal to see it and it lived up to our expectations. DS stayed with his girlfriend.. We have agreed to buy it and the wheels are in motion although it will take some time.
Every reason to feel on top of the world (apart from sons behaviour) you would think.
We arrived home at 1am on Sunday morning to find we had been burgled. The thieves had broken into our bedroom window and taken lots of valuable things from the room including my CD money which had been well hidden. All the clients I had seen on Wednesday evening had paid me in cash although some of them usually pay by cheque - sod's law!
When the police arrived they thought it looked suspicious and staged as they had taken some things but left others. For example they had taken DH's laptop but left his brand new £300 IPod that was beside it. Altogether we have lost about £5000s worth of goods and cash. I now find out I am only covered for £300 cash and that the CD money cannot be covered by that. Take note CDCs.
The suspicion is resting on my son that he was either involved or that he told someone we would be away. Our bungalow is very unusual and a stranger would not know which room was which especially as all the curtains were drawn. So it must be someone who has been in our home.
The shock really only came out yesterday and I have had a stinking headache that is not eased by painkillers and cant think straight. If I am speaking and someone goes to say something I immediately forget what I am saying. I should be the happiest woman alive but I am sitting here crying my eyes out. My DH has been very understanding and has even cooked the dinner for me the last couple of nights. He has been dealling with DS's terrible behaviour too.
To cap it all, because the GF's mother has said they can only stay at each others houses at the weekends and not during the week when they are at college my son has quit college and got a temporary labouring job so that he can rent a caravan for the two of them on a local Travellers site.
It is so sad. So many people are saying the GF is responsible for most of it and is bad news. She is also adopted and lives with quite a snobby family and went to private school although you would never believe it.
At the moment the Police are trying to keep an open mind as we are but it all seems to point to these 2.
I feel such a failure and my DH gets cross with me about this. I suppose I must put myself first now and if we want to move out to Portugal full time I should do so because my son has made it quite clear that he does want us in his life anymore.
If you have managed to read to the end I thank you. It has been quite cathartic to write it all down and I hope things will only get better.:wave_cry:
As some of you know My DH and I have had a very rocky time culminating in a visit to a Relate Counsellor 6 weeks ago. She was awful and told us she thought we had left it too late -" thats £40 thank you, the hour is up" My DH was very angry after the meeting although I said nothing that I had not said to him before. He took himself off to a solicitor in the morning and she told him he could get more from me than my Solcitor had told me. She said something to him that he would not tell me. It was to my detriment and it made him really angry. He came home and said he could not stand the thought of being away from me. Since then he has really tried hard to be a better husband and it is more like old times - really good. He has been more helpful in the house too.
On the other hand my DS who is 17 is making our lives hell. He got together with his girlfriend in February and they live in each others pockets. He has to take tablets for his condition and she has told him she does not like him taking them as they make him tired at night (her words). So he has stopped taking them and his temper knows no bounds.
I bought him a car and insured it last month on the condition that he paid for his driving lessons from his part time job. He has taken so much time off because he wants to be with her that he has lost the job and now expects me to pay for them. I have said no way!
Anyway to cut a long story a bit short, while browsing the internet I found a lovely house for sale in Portugal. It is really cute. My DH loved it too. So last Thursday DH, my lovely Mum (90) and I flew to Portugal to see it and it lived up to our expectations. DS stayed with his girlfriend.. We have agreed to buy it and the wheels are in motion although it will take some time.
Every reason to feel on top of the world (apart from sons behaviour) you would think.
We arrived home at 1am on Sunday morning to find we had been burgled. The thieves had broken into our bedroom window and taken lots of valuable things from the room including my CD money which had been well hidden. All the clients I had seen on Wednesday evening had paid me in cash although some of them usually pay by cheque - sod's law!
When the police arrived they thought it looked suspicious and staged as they had taken some things but left others. For example they had taken DH's laptop but left his brand new £300 IPod that was beside it. Altogether we have lost about £5000s worth of goods and cash. I now find out I am only covered for £300 cash and that the CD money cannot be covered by that. Take note CDCs.
The suspicion is resting on my son that he was either involved or that he told someone we would be away. Our bungalow is very unusual and a stranger would not know which room was which especially as all the curtains were drawn. So it must be someone who has been in our home.
The shock really only came out yesterday and I have had a stinking headache that is not eased by painkillers and cant think straight. If I am speaking and someone goes to say something I immediately forget what I am saying. I should be the happiest woman alive but I am sitting here crying my eyes out. My DH has been very understanding and has even cooked the dinner for me the last couple of nights. He has been dealling with DS's terrible behaviour too.
To cap it all, because the GF's mother has said they can only stay at each others houses at the weekends and not during the week when they are at college my son has quit college and got a temporary labouring job so that he can rent a caravan for the two of them on a local Travellers site.
It is so sad. So many people are saying the GF is responsible for most of it and is bad news. She is also adopted and lives with quite a snobby family and went to private school although you would never believe it.
At the moment the Police are trying to keep an open mind as we are but it all seems to point to these 2.
I feel such a failure and my DH gets cross with me about this. I suppose I must put myself first now and if we want to move out to Portugal full time I should do so because my son has made it quite clear that he does want us in his life anymore.
If you have managed to read to the end I thank you. It has been quite cathartic to write it all down and I hope things will only get better.:wave_cry: