Socialising

Discussion in 'Lipotrim Forum' started by rachelh, 1 October 2008 Social URL.

  1. rachelh

    rachelh is loving the soup?!

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    I have pretty much stopped socialising at the moment due to LT.
    My friends go out for a meal every Wednesday, they just texted me to ask why I'm not coming tonight.
    I haven't told them I'm on LT, I shall tell them in a few weeks when I have the losses to back it up. I've just said I'm not well.
    But at the moment I just don't feel strong enough to go and watch them wolf down 3 courses plus wine. I couldn't handle the pressure of 'why aren't you eating? Not another diet! Just have a bit.' I suspect I'd have some protein just to shut them up, and for me, I want this to be TOTAL food replacement.
    Have you stopped socialising?
     
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  3. princess-of-power

    princess-of-power this is SPARTA!

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    Yep, I have to.

    My friends have been meeting up every weekend recently. Ive told them all Im on LT and some of them still seem to think I can either a) have a drink or b) eat salad and be fine.

    It comes to the point where Im so annoyed with them I just refuse to go out. I feel that if they dont support me enough to either understand what Im doing or at least pay attention to the fact I cant eat or drink then Im just going to wait until Im thin.

    When I was on CD last year I stopped socialising too. But I did go out occasionally and just had water, it was fine. But my friends werent all that supportive then.

    Even my best friend, who lost a similar amount of weight to me last year and more, so you'd think she'd understand what im going through is getting really angry with me because I refuse to come out. She keeps on saying how boring I am because I have felt so fat in the past months Ive not been a party animal. That girl's life revolves around going out every weekend and mine doesnt, she just doesnt get it. It gets me down quite a lot actually.

    Sorry, didnt mean to moan!
     
  4. rachelh

    rachelh is loving the soup?!

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    That's OK! I think there will be a certain amount of negative reaction from my friends as well- certainly to the diet because it's a VLCD, and also because many of them are also overweight. I can imagine a couple of them saying 'don't be a spoilsport' whatever I do because they are feeling guilty that I am losing and they are not.
     
  5. MorbidBubblewrap

    MorbidBubblewrap Is thinking positive!

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    The first 3 weeks I didn't socialize either, My family sometimes all go out for a meal together in Didsbury near where I live, And I could not face watching them eat huge plate fulls of my fave foods, So I totally understand what you mean..But now I can happily sit there and watch people eat..Sounds weird but I enjoy watching people enjoy there food as I know one day I will be able to also (Healthy foods that is :p) and also in moderation...You tell them in you're own time..And when you next decide to go out with them you will be a lot stronger by then and it won't bother you as much hopefully! :):)
     
  6. princess-of-power

    princess-of-power this is SPARTA!

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    Yeah, friends do get like that.

    The BF I was talking about started her diet a few weeks after mine as she admitted she was so jealous I was thinner than her.

    She lost her weight over a year and lost 5 stone...which was too much for her height and looks awful. However, I put 2 stone back on and again, look awful.

    Ive been so depressed seeing her because she looks so smug every time she sees me and I can almost hear he laughing at me in her head!

    Well, Im seeing her for the first time on friday so she can try on her bridesmaid's dress (she's still thinking she needs a size 14 at 9st 7lbs and 5'6''...she's got a distorted perception of herself) and I'll feel better as Im only 1 stone now away from what I was last year.

    Its awful being in competition with your friend...I didnt want to be but its just turned out that way.
     
  7. rachelh

    rachelh is loving the soup?!

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    Laura, thanks for that. I can identify with those feelings of looking forward to eating from when I feed my hubby so hopefully I'll be in the same boat soon.

    Other Laura lol...whoops...Princessofpower...TBH it sounds like your friend is being more competitive than you. I know what it's like to feel jealous over mate's weights but I know it's really myself I have to worry about, and from the way you post it looks like you do too. I too am 5 6 and aiming for 9 7....people still guess me as a 12 then even though I'm an 8 so I expect I am fine at that weight! But I have gone too far in the past so I am always wary of that too now.
     
  8. phishfood

    phishfood Full Member

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    quote from previous post
    "It comes to the point where Im so annoyed with them I just refuse to go out. I feel that if they dont support me enough to either understand what Im doing or at least pay attention to the fact I cant eat or drink then Im just going to wait until Im thin."


    I just don't think people understand! Honestly, even people who think that they do usually don't. I do S.W and could't do what you guys do, I don't like butter, it makes me sick - but even after 15 years of knowing some people they still make stuff with butter in it! I'm sure they don't mean it - they simply just don't understand.

    Don't be cross with them - I'm sure they don't mean it. XXX
     
  9. BlackRose

    BlackRose Gold Member

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    I am the same but have managed to squeeze in acouple of coffee with friends -I've just told them I'm being 'as good as possible' so they dont even question why I dont have milk anymore. NO one has suspected yet and as I dont go out too often anyways I've primed ppl by telling them that I'm not drinking anymore so they are well prepared by the time I eventually do brave a night out. I'm the same, waiting til I've lost at least 3 stone before I tell ppl. Then they'll know I'm serious.
     
  10. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Can you persuade them to socialise elsewhere some weeks? Tell them you fancy a change?
     
  11. rachelh

    rachelh is loving the soup?!

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    I will try, and we do do other things...it's just we've done the Wednesday night meal for about 18 months! I don't want to change everyone around just for me.
    TBH I've wanted to stop it for a long time because of the cost and also...if I am going to eat out, I'd rather it be with my husband most of the time. Even for me eating out every week is a bit much health wise as well.
    Your post has made me wonder if perhaps some of the other girls don't feel the same. Thanks KD!
     
  12. KD

    KD Gone fishing

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    Cool. You may well be getting heaps of "thanks" from your friends who have been dying to suggest it for the last 16 months :D
     
  13. msblonde

    msblonde a new way of living!

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    I still go out, but i tend to suggest places like pubs, without eating, cinema, coffee bars, shopping etc...

    I enjoy the smell of popcorn at the cinema, and know that it would taste like packaging still, so i just inhale! and have a black coffee with a sweetner.

    for the pub, coffee and water. went out shopping (took a flapjack) and friends have eaten, I was surrounded by mackdonalds the other week, and didn't even bother about it.

    so there are ways to go out, but both you and your friends have to be flexible. if they cant be, maybe its time to widen your social group and make some new friends, you may find the old ones dropping away as time goes on.

    if there is a meal - then i arrange to meet afterwards for a drink (of water/coffee!) and then i dont have to take up a seat at a restaurant and not eat, you can incur cover charges at some places.

    the important thing about still going out, is that you learn how to handle situations that arise, if you become a hermit, when you 'can' go out again, then you will revert to old habits, and guess what!?!?! over indulge on the wrong food, get the taste for it again, start eating more of it, and re gain the weight!

    I will always (99%) stick to coffee in the cinema, a) i like it, b) the food is expensive c) it doesnt taste that great for the cost d) its fattening, and e) i can save up the cash for a nice meal out.

    just an example that can apply to most situations. think it through logically from a maintainers point of view too, use this time as an opportunity to spot your triggers and change old habbits for new ones.

    good luck

    Helen x
     
  14. princess-of-power

    princess-of-power this is SPARTA!

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    All good points made, and something to think about.

    However, I dont feel that Im hiding away and therefore I wont be able to unlearn my bad habits. I do still go out, its just I get really tired of people's negative attitudes towards my new lifestyle and I cant do this diet without support otherwise I'd crack!
     
  15. msblonde

    msblonde a new way of living!

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    totally agree, the last thing we need is people raining on our parade when we are doing well.

    the point i made was from personal experience, as i too lost weight before and regained it, well regained double what I lost! and I am so determined to not make the same mistake again.

    they say that life keeps teaching you the same lesson till you learn it, and some people never learn it. i think my lessons are to balance my weight and my cheque book! ;) (she says after a blow out at bicester shopping village!)

    so i will also add, stay well away from all negative people, not just when you are dieting, but preferably all together, but i know as well as everyone else, that there is no totally avoiding them! espec if they are family! :D

    but within reason, re educating ourselves during a diet will help us in the long term. no one wants to regain weight, yet so many of us do and have. i'm determined to find a way to prevent that regain ever happening again.

    when i work it out i'll write a book and inevitably become a millionaire overnight :D:D free copy to all mini menbers of course though! hehehe

    here's to cinema's and pubs continuing to sell coffee!

    Helen
     
  16. princess-of-power

    princess-of-power this is SPARTA!

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    Well Im placing an order for a copy of that book msblonde!!
     
  17. msblonde

    msblonde a new way of living!

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    lol, my fan base is building already :D note to self: ring publishers ;)
     
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  19. Angie44

    Angie44 Silver Member

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    I have been selective about socialising party last week I used my flapjack as nibbles as I knew there would be food..Have avoided a meal this weekend as a mixed bunch and I don't want to face the explanation. I am likely to have to sit through one on 12th Nov and even the xmas meal from work. 3 of the people know I am on it and know they will get my food shared onto their plate while I will use a flapjack again and drive...but I have xmas to focus on and then a glorious trip to Paris and my 45th birthday in August to celebrate finally having a healthy BMI
     
  20. Madferret

    Madferret Mad as a Hatter

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    I agree with all the points mentioned above... and think that we shouldn't hide until we are at target. I for one will be the designated driver from now on and also switch meeting places to more than just pubs....
    We LTrs will take over the world !!!!
     
  21. canireallydothis!!

    canireallydothis!! Gold Member

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    Hey Madferret, the world is a small place! Im very near you!!
     
  22. Jillian

    Jillian Full Member

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    Not really cos I don't really go out that much.espically since the regulation on smoking.I dont smoke but people I would know dont seem to go out that much anymore.does'nt really bother me. but I've always loved going out and havin a laugh and a good time. God it must be my age 37.:eek: how are you feeling now ?
     
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