Sophie's Slimming World and Cinema critiques!

[Tetris]

Oh boy, I was BAD in Saudi ate so much crap on the flight days I was pretty bad (drank 3 glasses of wine on the flight home) and at the shoot I gorged on these AMAZING nutella like truffles that the waiters were bringing around on trays (they kept bringing them to me because they saw how much I appreciated it LOL dammit ) buuut on my day off/non flight day I was good as gold and stuck to plan AND carb free and even skipped dinner as I woke up really late and then had to have an early night for my flight, so hoping I redeemed some of the day before there anyway, food wise sucked but have been very good on plan since back and hopefully by thurs I can even out with an STS :/ hopefully!

On my day off in Saudi I was alone but decided to go out anyway, went to the sea side where there was a pretty pathetic beach (and I had to be covered head to toe in an abayah- have never been so hot in my life, the humidity was INSANE!) and there were so many stray cats it was quite heart breaking... I saw some really really baby kittens hiding in this mini cave under some rocks, they looked so poorly I saw maybe 50 cats in a 500m radius... They were all scrawny and scared of humans
Wasn't a very eventful day but I was glad to get out and take some pictures, felt very independent and courageous then I decided that I would indeed go and explore Qatar during my 5hr layover- it was equally boiling! I didn't have to cover up though... I went to a souq which was pretty dead as everything is closed between noon-4pm there, but was still nice to mooch around and I went to a bay full of ships and kinda just wandered about a bit. I was so knackered by the time I got home (8hr flight) and missed the last direct train from heathrow by about 10 seconds ;( had to wait 25 mins for the next underground train as it was so late, and that terminated in South London so had to get a taxi home as it was 1am and I was pretty stranded! I hope my company will reimburse that, they get a bit funny about cabs and such... But they should do!

I spent yesterday writing a lot reading it out to G has been quite bonding and has inspired me to write more and re-work bits that are coming up, etc... He got bored of 50 shades lol! We hadn't even got to the kinky stuff yet!
Summer- I used to publish bits online (fan fiction!) in my mid teens but not anymore!

I'm determined to do some exercise soon, at least some arm toning stuff, but feeling pretty lazy and have the writing bug besides, have editing to do for a short deadline project... I like to go all out and do like 2hr bursts of exercise rather than just ten mins here and there, so it's quite time consuming when I do!
Hope everyone's doing well! x

 

[Charleybarley]

Hey Hun

Welcome home!

I loved your pice on FB of you with the nose ring, it really suited you! I always wanted a loop nose ring but I have always had office jobs where I have to wear safe sensible shiiiit!

Sounds like your journey back home was a nightmare - still you are home now and no doubt you will claw back any Middle Eastern type naughtiness - plus, if its in a different continent, it doesn't count right?!

xx

 

[Tetris]

Haha totally doesn't count if it's another continent
That nose ring was fake actually- just a magnet thing I got in a market out there to play a joke on G as he HATES that sort of thing (he is phobic of peas and said "IT LOOKS LIKE A PEA ON YOUR FACE!" lol!) I thought it would be funny but it ended up making him feel ill even hours after I'd told him it was a joke (almost instantly!) and gave him HEART PALPITATIONS :| felt awful lol! He REALLY hates tattoos and piercings (!!?) lol

Man, am so hungry today :S

 

[Cheese Thief]

Haha totally doesn't count if it's another continent
That nose ring was fake actually- just a magnet thing I got in a market out there to play a joke on G as he HATES that sort of thing (he is phobic of peas and said "IT LOOKS LIKE A PEA ON YOUR FACE!" lol!) I thought it would be funny but it ended up making him feel ill even hours after I'd told him it was a joke (almost instantly!) and gave him HEART PALPITATIONS :| felt awful lol! He REALLY hates tattoos and piercings (!!?) lol

Man, am so hungry today :S

OMG, poor G! Who'd have thought that'd happen! When I first read it I nearly LOLed (at the strangeness of it!) but getting heart palpitations must have been horrendous, bless him!
At least you know in future not to wind him up like that, I saw the pic on FB and thought it looked cute!

Hope you had fun in Saudi, though it sounded pretty hectic. Those stray cats would have broke my heart, but good on ya for going out and about exploring, it' be such a shame just to sit in the hotel but I can imagine it's a pretty intimidating place for a female traveller to explore alone. Hope you got some good pics

Good luck for WI, try not to worry if the scales go up after your trip, you've done brilliantly since you got back home from travels and I'm sure it won't be long til you reach your target xxx

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Gosh, that is a proper phobia G has isn't it?! Bloody hell!! See if I met a bloke who didn't like/couldn't stand tattoo's there'd be no chance I'm "eeepy" about piercings, but only the idea of me being pierced. On saying that, I could never take someone's piercings out for them. Rachelle had to do this for Mum the other day coz she couldn't do it herself. I'd have thrown up on her Yet I can assist in surgery....! I know lol

The stray kitties are so sad It's awful seeing stray animals abroad! We think we have an issue in the country, but when you go anywhere else it's a million times worse isn't it? So sad!

Well done for jumping straight back on plan. But now I want Nutella wafer things x

 

[Tetris]

+2!! DAMNIT! I've been so good since I've been back but am definitely regretting all those truffles and the wine :/ did I really have 7000 calories more than normal to GAIN 2lbs in 3 days? *****...

Tomorrow I'm having my broken molar extracted and have to be gassed for it :/ I broke two molars in the space of a week in Japan- this one's nerve has been so destroyed that it can't be fixed, but there's a wisdom tooth just waiting to fill the gap, phew. Anyway- DREADING it, and apparently the gas will have me out of it half the day.
I've been so damn hungry this past couple of days :S really annoying! And stuck at home editing so not distracted enough to stay away from the fridge have been carb free but a noshy monster.

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Sorry about the gain mate I know it's disappointing, but I'm sure it'll be gone soon. Hopefully anyway

Muchos good luck tomorrow. Enjoy the drugs!! And i really hope it goes well and that you're ok.xx

 

[Tetris]

Tooth extraction sucked! Had a cheeky Chinese that eve as I needed a treat... Nothing over syns or crazy, but still feel guilty as I've been over-treating a bit at home have been so snacky this week and it doesnt help that we have been low on supplies but waiting for a voucher to activate, grr.

Plans to go to India with girlfriends are looking more likely now! Especially as I have been offered video shoots in Saudi either side of the trip so could get returns from there and have flights essentially covered by the company I work for :O just waiting for one shoot to be confirmed. I really want to have lost a fair chunk more by then, at least half a stone- will be going Oct 17th, should be motivation to exercise and eat good but my will power is so tested at the mo and that bloody gain is going to linger, I can tell :'( really wanna be a healthy BMI before I go!

Depression has flared up this week, shame travel plans dont snap me out of it am in a lot of pain from the dental surgery still too *sigh* what a whingey update! Sorry guys lol. X

 

[cheekychinchilla]

I think you have every right to be whingy. Whinge away *hug*

Exciting about more adventure plans!! I reckon you could lose half a stone by then if you do what you always do It's horrible when things are stressy and you can't get eating habits under control or you have no will power. But you know you can do it if you try

Hope you feel a bit better soon.xx

ps. There's a cute puppy pic on my diary if you want a smile!

 

[Tetris]

OK so haters gonna hate but I decided to do a mid week WI after all LOL, just a week after saying I'd stop. The Saudi gain had been eating at my confidence and I just wanted some relief- and that I now have!

The 2lb gain is off! PHEW.

You know how logic tells you one thing ("It'll come off fast!") but that pesky irrational voice in your head goes into overdrive anyway? I really thought this gain would linger, so I'm really glad I did the extra WI especially as I have been eating too many extra sweet syns this weekend- maybe 5 syns extra a day, so feared the worst. Not that I am going to let that continue now!

Back to 13st 12lbs

Kelly- before I went away in March, the last 6lbs to 'normal' BMI were killing me, I have never struggled so much and it was so up and down from xmas to March despite me being on plan. I think it is getting to the point where I need to crack down on my free food as I am eating too many calories for my current weight to get the right defecit for a loss- every 70cal pot of 'free' yoghurt or banana as a snack is adding up and I need to be a little less relaxed about stuff lile that now I think. I'd love to be bang on 13st when I go away, but so unlikely

I think imma start upping my veg and having smaller meat portions for meals. Oh, and making more conscious effort to count syns! Had kinda just been watching generally how much I was eating but I did get a bit naughty with a spoom and jar of PB last night :S not good. X

 

[cheekychinchilla]

YAY! So glad the 2lbs is off. It's insane how much a couple of pounds can destroy your confidence. I really do understand. But glad they've gone

I also really do understand where you're coming from on the losses closer to target. Getting to the 11st mark for me was exactly the same. You know my losses are generally slow and up or down, but I remember those last few pounds were killers and I don't think I broke the 11st mark - can't remember off the top of my head! But sure I was around 11st when I went to Sweden.

All's you can do is try! But try not to put too much pressure on yourself or you'll crumble or end up miserable. xx

 

[Tetris]

Thanks love! Totally agree... I always knew it got harder nearer target but I though that it wouldnt be this slow until nearer middle of the healthy bmi range!

Off to Saudi again tomorrow, a last minute confirmation of something I agreed to a few weeks back but it was only tentative and I didnt think it was still happening I am going to try harder to be on plan this time, but the flights will suck sleep wise and I tend to eat more when exhausted (when sleep deprived the chemical released is oftem confused for hunger apparently!)
Have to be up at like 4am tomorrow to go to heathrow, then my flight home will only give me like 3hrs sleep after the 10hr shoot :'( I NEVER sleep on planes and will be exhausted from shoot- so that'll suck! Also I doubt the fligt films will have been changed in 2 weeks and saw all the ones I wanted to last time- Argghhh.

My tooth extraction is agony still, have a dentist appointment in an hour, think it is infected :'( smells really bad too (?!) but hopefully antibiotics will help- dreading them poking about at such a painful area though!!

Had a panic attack yesterday because of stress my depression is so bad too. The project I have been working on has dragged with all these issues and a tense deadline, I had to cancel my theatre trip with friends tonight because I wouldnt have been back until midnight and have to be up at 4, had to confirm the awful flights and get the company to sort me an early taxi and had been trying to burn these DVDs that were being technically difficult because of the edit being a weird file- and drop them off before I went out to an India travels meeting. Basically all this happened in about ten minutes and I just couldnt take it cancelled the meeting/theatre, pushed through amd sorted the dvds which G thankfully delivered and just spent the evening trying to calm down, but I feel tense still even the next day! Ick.
My emotions just wont listen to logic right now and it's scary.
I keep telling myself that the Saudi trip will be over after the weekend amd it'll just result in a few moody days catching up on sleep (no commitments next week luckily), but sleep is a big deal thing to me as I never sleep well anyway and am really sensitive if I dont get enough- so am DREADING that 14hrs of traveling home (2hrs from the airport, layover, 8hrs flying, 2hrs pre flight getting to airport, all adds up)
And this time I refuse to let myself binge on chocolate!!

Glad I did that naught mid week WI on Mon as cant do my regular thurs WI (6hrs early will change water levels and things too much so f*ck it) and that way can weigh next Mon when I've had 24hrs to let the flying bloating go down (though will be due on!)
Just rambling now, jeeze I hope I can have some damn fun soon, the past 3 weeks have been CRAP and I havent seen friends or had a fun social evening since... July? :/

 

[cheekychinchilla]

I fully agree on the tiredness = hunger!! I know that very well, unfortunately, and you have my sympathy. It does feel like you have no control over it and want to eat ALL THE THINGS to fuel your body.
Good luck with the job though. Sounds very hectic! But think of the pennies

Oh no mate, sounds like you do have an infection. Fairly common tho. To be fair, our mouths are FULL of germs and I'm really surprised they didn't cover you with AB's anyway. Bizarre!! Hope you're ok and they didn't poke too much.

Sounds like you're under an awful lot of pressure at the moment You very, very much deserve some fun!! Hopefully some will be coming up soon.
Muchos love mate.xx

 

[Charleybarley]

Aw Soph, sorry to hear you are feeling rubbish at the moment, I wished there was a cure to banish dark days from people who suffer from depression. My bestie suffers too, she sent me a really good you tube clip about it called the Black Dog - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc . Its really interesting for people who don't 'get' what depression is all about... My friend was trying to explain her feelings to her brother once and he said "can't you just stop feeling sad and feel happy!" - she said "oh, that's what I need to do, I wished you could have said that sooner.." or something equally sarcastic. But the thing is some people will never understand it - I said to her next time he says something like that you should tell him to try and not feel happy, at all, all day long. Just stop being happy, you are not allowed to let any happiness in, and see how hard he finds that to do. I understand it, mainly because my nanny was poorly with manic depression, but I will never fully be able to empathise because I haven't got the darkness. Anyway, enough of that, I didn't mean to go on as much as I have, but I thought, if you haven't already seen the clip, that I would send it to you.

I hope the trip goes well, I know you weren't looking forward to it, so I hope it whizzes by for you and I hope you get your gob sorted out! It defo sounds like an injection.

xxxxxxx

 

[Tetris]

Thanks for the pep talks guys
Was indeed an infection, seems like they almost expect it to get infected- da fuq?? Thry put medicine in and told me not to take antibiotics unless it was sill bothering me in 24hrs- is has been awful today on the flights so have started taking them

I had about a weeks worth of syns while flying today and feel so ashamed I felt so crap in the morning from the 4am start and basically no sleep due to stress, so treated myself to a PB kitkat chunky as they are AMAZING! But on the flight he breakfast was WAFFLES (ok I chose them of a selecion of options :'( smelt too good!) and there were croissants and later they gave me a full size twix bar when I had already noshed through a pack of milk buttons and a couple of cereal bars and arrghghh it got worse! They brought a mini cake and hot wrap for lunch before landing and ate that too- but was starving during layover so ate some biryani rice, then a frozen yoghurt, then dinner on the short flight was a hot doughy sandwih thing and a small pastry. Basically the worst food day I have had in AGES and I feel crap about it at least the second half of the day I didnt really eat much- the rice and small sandwich/pastry werent much, but breakfast to lunch time was AWFUL.

Will try and be better tomorrow but cant really see it happening on the shoot lol, and the return flight I will have not slept and will be reaching for food comfort :'(

 

[cheekychinchilla]

Of course it got infected. I really don't know why they didn't cover you pre and post-op with antibiotics. Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!!! Eeejits!
Be careful with alcohol while taking them, it can make you very very sick. I learned that one the hard way. SO MUCH VOMIT!!!

Oh yeah, PB Chunky Kit Kats are awesome!!

Totally not surprised you are after comfort food considering all that is going on. How about you take it easy on yourself, get through this shoot and the horrible flights, and then get back to healthy eating once you're settled back home. Don't feel guilty, you'll only make it worse. Get through it and then fix it. You know you can fix it

Muchos love and a big hug.xx

 

[Tetris]

Annnnnd the 2lbs is back on... Lol.
Basically it's been on and off the past month- I rock the diet at home but as soon as I'm away on a work trip I get naughty it's just too tempting having all that cake and chocolate and crap around!
I wasn't even THAT bad at the wedding this time, but the flight there was awful...
Yesterday I had a really low calorie day too so hoped that would help, but alas! I took my last pill on Sat so am due on in the next few days, might be to do with it... Sigh!

2 NSVs though first- I went out on a social doobrey yesterday (first time in AGES!) and everyone went for a Chinese and I was starving but I decided to avoid it! Left and grabbed a Subway salad on the way home felt really good about that.
Second one- I fit into my boyfriends' jeans! LOL! He's still a stone and a half lighter than me and they're loose on him but they fit- ha! I'm nearly the same size as him, hurrah!

Jeeze that top makes me look butch... Partly because the camera is higher than mid-level so upper body is made to look bigger/legs shorter but eww my arms!
Jeans are not for me, lol.

Work trip is over, nasty editing project is over- invoices sent! I am a free bird for a bit now, ahhh x

 

[cheekychinchilla]

I have to disagree with you on the pic. you look incredible!! Look how small and smooth your waist is?!! Super jealous! I can only get a look like that with my waist nipper on lol. Otherwise it's a muffin top party

I think you look great anyway. But we're our own worst critics aren't we and you have to feel comfortable and happy and now matter how much we all go "ZOMG Tetris, yo're gorgeous!" I think you need to believe it yourself. But, you are xx

 

[Tetris]

Haha thanks dude! For some reason compliments just don't register with me half of the time, even when people say nice things I just glare at the mirror lol. I think my tummy was so sucked in by those high waist jeans that it looks flat! It isn't normally haha! I think that's why I usually like dresses/skirts that pinch at the waist and then the bump and hips are kinda merged into one

I'm feeling better today I had a 5hr Skype convo with the girls I'm going to India with and I'm STARTING to feel excited lol! I got quite productive sorting the itinerary in a document after- we've done about half of it now and it so far includes (in the first 10 days) the Taj Mahal (I mean, you just have to, right? ), a camel trek through the desert and night under the stars, a temple covered in pornographic carvings, a tiger safari and celebrating Diwali by the Ganges in this INCREDIBLE place! Check it out:


Wowowowow photographers paradise so excited for Diwali on October 23rd!

Also have plans to go to a rock club with an interesting mix of people on Friday, which excites me as I've wanted to go to a rock club since I got back from travels- it's been ages!
So overall in a better mood today. Oh, and the poo fairy visited so that's surely part of the gain might re-weigh in the morning LOL.
Off to pizza express tomorrow in central London with G's mum and sister, will either get a salad or a leggera pizza (where they cut the middle out of the pizza to reduce the calories, and replace it with salad)

Tooth extraction site is starting to feel a bit better but not 100%, and tonight is my last of the course of antibiotics :/ still taking pain killers.
x

 

[Tetris]

Gosh, am so up and down these days. Yesterday I opted for a salad at pizza express- it was really nice! Had some cheeky mozzarella and avocado etc, but was under 340 calories. However- the lunch really dragged (with G's mum and sister) and I was really tired and bored of the small talk and drained by it- I had to watch his mum eat pizza for over an hour and a half as she didn't like her first one so the second one arrived just as I finished my salad and she ate SO SLOW as she was talking so much- then she only ate about a slice and was offering it around and it just sat on the table for AGES and I frankly was still hungry
2.5hrs after meeting me left and I had a bit of a hysterical break down just from feeling so ****, pre-menstrual, hungry, tired and depressed, I really struggled in that scenario, unable to get away from both the food in front of me and the conversation that was killing me. I really suck at the moment at pushing myself to do things I really don't want to when depressed, it can make things so much worse :/
I went to Yo Sushi and had a few bits of sushi and a chirashi cheap box, then we went to the Bond Street Disney store which really cheered me up I bought a Jack Skellington mug to add to my collection of Disney mugs- lol! Then I spent a couple of hours shopping, mainly in Forever 21 which was pretty cheap and nicer than primark (more like New Look quality but nearer Primark prices) and a bloody MASSIVE shop. Got a couple of dresses on sale and a couple of skirts and some tie-die leggingy-trouser things. Felt so drained again after shopping and G was exhausted too from doing other bits but we decided to pop to the cinema on the way home. Going to the cinema has been quite difficult for me recently, my ADHD has been ripe (I think it flares extra when I am having a strong depressive bout) and last time when we went to see 'Lucy' I felt ridiculously uncomfortable having to sit still the whole time without something to mentally occupy me more than the film. It's weird but I can read books fine- I guess that involves more mental work to read the words and imagine it all- but just staring at a screen isn't enough at all to keep me busy, and I start to go insane and eat loads to feel better lol. It's pretty sad but I just can't watch films at home anymore and I'm in the bloody film industry!
We saw Guardians of the Galaxy yesterday which was great FANTASTIC CHARACTERS! OMG! Grood! Drax! Ahhhh it was so funny! I cried quite a bit too. I loved it and I had things to nosh on (it was dinner time so I had a snack dinner- an onigiri (sushi wrap triangle seaweed thing), shared a punnet of grapes and raspberries from Morrisons and had two small cookies and cream kitkats (oops 10 syns) but ate them really slowly and really enjoyed them! That was my dinner, didn't eat anything after as got home late, so not too bad really.

Woke up at 8am today- super early for me! It's so beautiful in the lounge right now with the morning light and it was a weird nostalgia to look out of the window and see clouds of breath in front of people's faces as they walked to work; I find winter mornings quite beautiful and it reminds me of going to art school (since I've never had a 9-5 and that was the last time I was regularly traveling early in winter).
When G wakes up I'm going to have an exercise day, then have another Skype call planned to sort more India stuff later.

Today I'm going to eat clean- no carbs. Yesterday I had quite a bit of rice in the end and the day before was a bit of a cereal binge (not a binge but... had lile 2.5 bowls ) since I don't have another work trip planned for a while, I'm going to detox out the carbs again because life was way easier when I didn't crave them!
x