• Upgrades have been completed! Including conversations, πŸ˜πŸ˜ŽπŸ€βšΎβš½ Emojis and more.. Read more



Sorry but hope you don't mind me having a moan

S: 28st12lb C: 22st12lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 47.3 Loss: 6st0lb(20.79%)
#1
I know I don't post a lot on here and I hope everyone on here doesn't mind me having a moan, just need to get something off my chest and I don't where else to do it.


In August my mum as taken ill, she spent a few days in hospital than they sent her home but she has been going back for tests to find out what is wrong, we knew she had something there (a lump) that might have been cancer but whatever it was she was going to need surgery to remove it. Anyway, was told about a month ago it is cancer, she surgery just over 2 weeks ago to remove it. My mum will be needing chemo, not sure when that will start but it will be lasting for 6 months. So since August I have been really, really worried about my mum. I was so scare when she had her surgery because she has a heart problem that something could have gone wrong and she could have died (thank god the surgery did go well with no problems). Anyway, my mum is home now but is still recovering from her surgery – she can't do any heavy lifting or bending over, she has to take things easy and she can't drive for six weeks. So I've been doing everything at home which I do not mind one bit because I want my mum to get well again (I just wish there was more I could do for my mum). My first and top concern at the moment is my mum. I don't really care about what happens to me at the moment as long as my mum is OK. I haven't been really sleeping well so am tried most off the time (not that I mind because I have it easy because am not the one that had to have surgery and am not the one who is going to need chemo).


Anyway, what has really upset me me is my 'friend' – I've know her for a good few years and over the years I have been there for her, listened to her when her boyfriends have really messed her about, I've taken her place – shopping, work, doctors/hospital, etc. I've picked up shopping for her and dropped it off. I've gone out off my way to do things for her which I didn't have to. When it comes to ring her up its me that has to ring her up so she doesn't rung up her phone bill. And when it comes to seeing each other its me that has to go to hers, she doesn't come over to my – she is welcome too. Over the years I've not asked her for anything or very, very little. And since August with things happening with my mum I've not asked her for anything and she knows what is going on with my mum. I've been trying to deal with everything with what is happening to my mum and still be there for my friend and all her problems. The only thing is, is at the moment I might not have as much time to see her or to do stuff for her because am looking after my mum which I would like to think anyone would understand that and also my mind has been on my mum alot. At the start off the week she asked if I wanted to go over Friday, I said any day but Friday because my mum had a hospital appointment and I wanted to be there for my mum. Anyway, she than said that I don't want to see her, which isn't the case, I just don't have as much free time at the moment than I did before because am looking after my mum, like to think anyone would understand that. Tried to text my friend, she didn't reply, tried to ring her home and mobile phones, she didn't answer. The only reason she wanted me to go over Friday is because she got paid this week and she would have wanted me to take her shopping. Anyway, she has since put on facebook (which I know is about me) that 'she had enough of so called friends, making the effect with them for them to s*** on her and some people are using t***s' – I just feel that she really can't talk and is being two face, its me that has to go her place and see her, she is the one that is always asking to be taken places or for me to do something for her, even when my mum having tests I was still taking my friend shopping and doing stuff for her. I can not think off one thing I've asked off her since my mum has been ill. She has not once rang or offered to ring to speak to me and to see how I am. But than I have felt that since my mum been ill she does not care and is not intested. I guess I thought she would be abit more understand off things than what she has been but than its all about her.


I just don't know what to do about it because I do not need this at the moment. I know it will have to be me that gets in touch with her first as it always is. Should I get in touch with her or just leave it?


Anyway, I am so sorry for moaning and going on, hope some off you will be more understand than my 'friend'.


Thank You.
 
Get Rid of this ad and join in on the conversation for free today! Tap here!
S: 21st7lb C: 9st7lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 20.2 Loss: 12st0lb(55.81%)
#2
Liz31 said:
I know I don't post a lot on here and I hope everyone on here doesn't mind me having a moan, just need to get something off my chest and I don't where else to do it.

In August my mum as taken ill, she spent a few days in hospital than they sent her home but she has been going back for tests to find out what is wrong, we knew she had something there (a lump) that might have been cancer but whatever it was she was going to need surgery to remove it. Anyway, was told about a month ago it is cancer, she surgery just over 2 weeks ago to remove it. My mum will be needing chemo, not sure when that will start but it will be lasting for 6 months. So since August I have been really, really worried about my mum. I was so scare when she had her surgery because she has a heart problem that something could have gone wrong and she could have died (thank god the surgery did go well with no problems). Anyway, my mum is home now but is still recovering from her surgery – she can't do any heavy lifting or bending over, she has to take things easy and she can't drive for six weeks. So I've been doing everything at home which I do not mind one bit because I want my mum to get well again (I just wish there was more I could do for my mum). My first and top concern at the moment is my mum. I don't really care about what happens to me at the moment as long as my mum is OK. I haven't been really sleeping well so am tried most off the time (not that I mind because I have it easy because am not the one that had to have surgery and am not the one who is going to need chemo).

Anyway, what has really upset me me is my 'friend' – I've know her for a good few years and over the years I have been there for her, listened to her when her boyfriends have really messed her about, I've taken her place – shopping, work, doctors/hospital, etc. I've picked up shopping for her and dropped it off. I've gone out off my way to do things for her which I didn't have to. When it comes to ring her up its me that has to ring her up so she doesn't rung up her phone bill. And when it comes to seeing each other its me that has to go to hers, she doesn't come over to my – she is welcome too. Over the years I've not asked her for anything or very, very little. And since August with things happening with my mum I've not asked her for anything and she knows what is going on with my mum. I've been trying to deal with everything with what is happening to my mum and still be there for my friend and all her problems. The only thing is, is at the moment I might not have as much time to see her or to do stuff for her because am looking after my mum which I would like to think anyone would understand that and also my mind has been on my mum alot. At the start off the week she asked if I wanted to go over Friday, I said any day but Friday because my mum had a hospital appointment and I wanted to be there for my mum. Anyway, she than said that I don't want to see her, which isn't the case, I just don't have as much free time at the moment than I did before because am looking after my mum, like to think anyone would understand that. Tried to text my friend, she didn't reply, tried to ring her home and mobile phones, she didn't answer. The only reason she wanted me to go over Friday is because she got paid this week and she would have wanted me to take her shopping. Anyway, she has since put on facebook (which I know is about me) that 'she had enough of so called friends, making the effect with them for them to s*** on her and some people are using t***s' – I just feel that she really can't talk and is being two face, its me that has to go her place and see her, she is the one that is always asking to be taken places or for me to do something for her, even when my mum having tests I was still taking my friend shopping and doing stuff for her. I can not think off one thing I've asked off her since my mum has been ill. She has not once rang or offered to ring to speak to me and to see how I am. But than I have felt that since my mum been ill she does not care and is not intested. I guess I thought she would be abit more understand off things than what she has been but than its all about her.

I just don't know what to do about it because I do not need this at the moment. I know it will have to be me that gets in touch with her first as it always is. Should I get in touch with her or just leave it?

Anyway, I am so sorry for moaning and going on, hope some off you will be more understand than my 'friend'.

Thank You.
Well for a start I think I would stop referring to this person as a "friend", because from what you've said she clearly isn't. She sounds like a user, and all the real friendship seems to have come from your side. My advice, personally, would be not to contact her at all, delete her from Facebook and any other social media, and just get on with looking after your Mum and yourself. I know these things aren't easy, if you have a long history with someone, but it doesn't sound to me as though this person enhances your life experience, they're just a drain on it. Obviously I don't know her circumstances, or the history of your friendship, but based solely on what you've said that would be my advice. And I hope your Mum is doing ok. :) xx
 
S: 18st12lb C: 10st2lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 22.2 Loss: 8st10lb(46.21%)
#3
I can only second what Tracy said! You really don't need this 'friend' in your life. What exactly do you get out of your friendship with her? She seems to do all the taking while you do all the giving. My advice? Cut her off!
 
S: 28st12lb C: 22st12lb G: 12st0lb BMI: 47.3 Loss: 6st0lb(20.79%)
#4
Thank you Tracey and lardylady - I really have tried to think what she has done for me since my mum first got ill in August and I can't think off one thing. I feel that if I don't take her places or do stuff for her she will turn around and say I don't want to be her friend, which isn't true but at the moment I have other things on my mind (mainly my mum of course and am also worried about my dad as he is having some health problems too). I guess its my own fault for thinking she would be more caring and understanding than what she has been. I guess if am not friends with her anymore she will miss me more than I will miss her because she won't be getting take places and stuff done for her.

And my mum is doing OK, but still has to take things easy for awhile. Am just really worry about how and what the chemo will leave her feeling like (how sick she will be from it) but if she needs to to make sure all the cancer is go than she has to have it.

Thank you again.
 
S: 21st7lb C: 9st7lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 20.2 Loss: 12st0lb(55.81%)
#5
I hope your Mum gets on well with her treatment, and that you can resolve things with your friend in whatever way makes you happiest - just put yourself and your parents first in the situation, hon. :) xx
 


Similar threads



Top