Starting out again, this time for the last time

[Caz]

Today's the day. I'm starting out, again. I've used Minimins before and actually met my husband through here, it was the time I was most focused and successful so I'm hoping maybe it'll help again.

I've weighed this morning and I've surprisingly lost 4lb in the past week. We've been away to Butlins and had the dining plan so breakfast and dinner all included but I did try and be sensible and we walked a lot, Mon-Fri I hit 69k steps. Plus we went swimming and on a bike ride.

I've got half a lb short of 7 stone to lose. 7 stone. It's almost unimaginable and really I'm rather disappointed in myself but I can't live a life of guilt and blame, I just need to move forward as best I can and do something about it.

There are only two things that have ever really worked for me - slimming world and calorie counting. I've been faffing about on SW the past 10 months since we went on holiday (regaining the weight I lost before holiday) so I'm coming back to CC. I did it very successfully around the time I met my husband 8 years ago. I lost 3.5/4 stone, was motivated by a healthy diet and exercise and was at a point where I was feeling really good in myself. Then we moved in together, kids, all that and life somehow has taken over. But it's time to do this.

So I'm going to set myself 1400 calories a day and will be using My Fitness Pal to track everything. Even on a bad day, I'm going to challenge myself to track it all. I've got my fitbit and am going to try and consistently hit 10k steps a day. Family walk at the weekends. Try to do some form of exercise 3 times a week, even if it's just a walk on my lunch break. No food is off limits, it's all just going to be about burn more than I take in. No pressure. No weekly targets. Just take it day by day and do the best I can.

When I think about the reasons not to do this properly, it's really only because I bloody love food. But that feeling is short term. Any stress relief, any enjoyment, it lasts a couple of minutes. My reasons to lose weight, they last a life time and that's what I need to focus on.

I'm really going to try and focus on what those reasons are:

My children.
To be the role model they need
To be a mum they can be proud of
To be free to do anything they ever want me to do with them
My health.
To be free from worrying about the future
To never be held back from anything I want to do because of my weight.
My confidence and self esteem.
My clothes, my choice of clothes.
My marriage, my relationships with other people, my social life.
Ultimately, my happiness.

I've learnt to try and be happy as I am (although I wouldn't say I've managed that) because I can't spend my life waiting to be a magic number before I be happy but I want to just live the life I want, how I want and not dictated to by my weight, without fear of anything.

So that's me. I know this is a long post so if you've made it this far, I'm impressed. Writing this was more for me, about making it concrete. If that makes sense! I've always been a bit funny about a diary and had an attack of confidence if people weren't commenting but actually this is about me recording my own journey for my own benefit. So if anyone wants to tag along that's great but otherwise, more room for me

 

[SammyanthaG]

Dear Caz, well done for making the commitment. I am on a similar journey. I've had a bumpy start but am making progress. I am sure you will do too. Best wishes, S

 

[Caz]

Thanks Sammy, it's hard work but we just need to keep pushing forward. I hope this year is a successful one for both of us.

 

[Failedatdietsfor15years!]

Hi Caz, I'm also a repeat offender . . . or should I say repeat, repeat, repeat offender

I started again in February, because my daughter started uni in September last year, and she put on 3 stone!!
After living a life where I've been overweight the majority of her life (and a bit more!) and been on every diet or eating plan you can think of (including SW), I really didn't want that life for her.

Yes, I get on with it, full time job, great partner, friends and social life etc, but it bothers me and I'm unhappy with the way I look - this spills out into my life, especially when everything is documented for facebook these days!!! I cringe every time I look at pics of me.

So with my daughter's health and happy life at stake, we started together. I've never felt so comfortable doing it - maybe because I followed a keto plan for the majority of last year (result was one stone on by the end of the year ) but I think it might have taught me sticking power because by now, I've usually lapsed a fair few times!! or maybe because this wasn't just for my benefit???? My daughter is doing well and has lost 1 stone and a couple of lbs too but she has nowhere the amount I need (want) to lose.

Starting weight 21 stone 3.5 lbs (I'd been weighing myself at home and my scales were wrong by more than a stone, so it was genuine surprise when I stepped on!!!) Very unhappy and a bit disgusted with myself to be honest.

I don't know why I was surprised, we went on an important holiday at the end of October last year to Portugal (my brother was given a terminal diagnosis and we had an extended family holiday together), the plane seatbelt didn't go round me, but too embarrassed (in front of my child and partner) to ask for an extension, I just held it to look as though it was fastened!! I still did nothing about it until February . . .

Anyhow, I'm two stone and a bit down, and am consistently losing each week. thought I'd have a gain this week because of hen party last weekend, but a 1.5lb loss showed (but now nervous about next week in case it goes on and I've got the wedding to attend).

So with a similar amount as you to lose, how would you feel about teaming up to encourage each other? (which will make me post a bit more and come on here more often).

And for the record, I bet your kids are well proud of you anyway - its unconditional

xx