Starting Over...Nervous

[angeljaide]

Hi everyone. My name is Angel and I am starting over and I am nervous.

I restarted ww yesterday and weighed in at 232lbs. My goal is to reach 149lb by the end of August next year, my 32nd birthday.

I've been fat since I was about 7 years old. My brother died and I was bullied at school and my family always used food to make things feel better. My treats were always sweet and calorie laden but I don't blame my family because they only ever tried to make me happy. Now aged 30, I continue that trend myself - using food to make the emptiness and sadness and insecurity go away. It's a learned behaviour and I know it's a hard one to change, but that is, I know, what I have to do.

I originally started ww back in Feb 2008 weighing in at my heaviest - 250lb and I lost 54lbs which took me down to 196lb - half way to goal. Then, and I have no idea what changed, I just stopped. And in the past year I have gained back 38lb.

I'm starting again because I want to wake up and think that today is the heaviest I will ever be again, and I want to do that everyday until I wake up one day and I where I want to be. It's going to be hard. My headspace isn't great to be honest but I want thos so much. I;ve come here hoping to find people like me, make new friends and find support to help me change my life and myself for the better.

I hate that I hate myself so much. I am ruining the most important relationship I will ever have - the one I have with myself, not to mention ruining every other romantic relationship because of my own issues with myself. I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. Maybe I never will - but I do know that I;d rather be looking at the 149lb version of me.

I can do this. I hope...

 

[Faustina]

Angeljaide, how have you been getting on? It sounds like you're finally at the end of your tether, you sound like me a year ago. My weight loss has been low and in fits and starts but this is the first year in ten years I've been a lower weight than the year before. It's a wonderful feeling and it can only get better for you when you feel this exasperated. I hope the last fortnight since you posted this has been positive for you.

 

[Jadeymoss2]

hey hunni, its good that you have got to the stage where you want change, beacuse your head has top be in the right place!!! you will do hunni, we are all here to support each other xx

 

[angeljaide]

Thank you very much for your posts - it means an awful lot. I've lost 5lbs in total over the 3 weeks. I am taking it slow and steady in the hope that it will mean longer lasting results. I'm not after a quick fix or massive losses - just to lose it all!!

 

[fatbunny]

Thank you very much for your posts - it means an awful lot. I've lost 5lbs in total over the 3 weeks. I am taking it slow and steady in the hope that it will mean longer lasting results. I'm not after a quick fix or massive losses - just to lose it all!!

it is a slow process to loss weight and we all have good and bad days and weeks but you just have to put it behind you and start again and not dwell on mistakes.

 

[1974rach]

Hi Angeljade - you are right - slow and steady wins the race!

take it a pound at a time, because if you are battling with other issues that's the only way it will work for you.

How did your weigh in go this week?

xxx

 

[Billie-x]

Hi hope your doing okay good luck xx