Starzz Cambridge Diary

[Starzz]

I have decided to give the VLCD thing a go ONE last time. When I told my Mom she said the last time you gave up smoking was the best one !! I decided then that she was right. It took me many attempts to give up smoking but I did it in the end.

I did lighterlife initially in 2008. I started at 16st 2lbs and lost exactly 5stone. I didn't quite reach goal but felt great! I had a whole new wardrobe of clothes went on a beach holiday and felt fabulous. I cant really give any excuses as to why the weight crept back on I think I just didn't learn any lessons about healthy eating. I've tried Lighterlife again a couple of times since but have not quite managed to get the motivation of the first time.

So basically over the last few years I have varied in clothes size from a 16 to now realistically a 22. It seems every time I have something to go to I have to worry about getting something to fit, its an absolute nightmare. I dream of a capsule wardrobe in a normal size that fits season after season!

Anyways I have just spent a lovely week in Portugal which, if im honest was ruined by my weight. Firstly because I had to take a suitcase of hastily brought 22 clothes, all elasticated waists and loose tops-yuk. It was lovely and hot but all I could think about was my legs rubbing together and getting so out of breath. As I sat on the beach i promised myself that I would give it 100% and make this the last time.

I decided to give Cambridge for financial reasons also they seem to have a wider choice of shakes. I went to see my councillor yesterday and she seemed very nice, very enthusiastic as she has done it herself and is a maintainer.

So at 16st 6lbs I start again at my heaviest, I am going to try and focus on one day at a time not worry about things coming up in the future. I'm going to try and remember those painful feelings in Portugal and get it done!!

 

[Starzz]

Day one is nearly at a close and all in all it hasn't been too bad. A couple of things happened that would normally see me reaching for some food for comfort.
Firstly I managed to leave the freezer door open last night and all the stuff defrosted. if it was my food it wouldn't be so bad but at the moment im lodging with my brother and sister in law and it was all their food !!!! They were very nice about it- too nice to be honest. i've spent all day feeling awful about that.
Then this afternoon went dog walking with my mom who informed me she has been on a couple of dates with a guy and is thinking of going on a date with another guy who has asked her out ( we lost my dad 4 years ago).
Im really happy for her and hope she finds someone special however the whole conversation had me beating myself up because at 37 Im still single and childless. Ive been single for ages because my weight mainly has stopped me putting myself out there. So I have been mulling that over all afternoon. Normally things like this would see me reaching for a glass of wine which would then be followed by food.
So I feel quite positive at the moment. I have felt hungry this evening but nothing too bad. Gotta make an effort to drink more tomorrow though.

 

[Mini]

Well done for getting through today with all that went on. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier going...

When I told my Mom she said the last time you gave up smoking was the best one !! I decided then that she was right. It took me many attempts to give up smoking but I did it in the end.

Well done on not smoking:clap::clap::clap:

I dream of a capsule wardrobe in a normal size that fits season after season!

I dream of this as well and hopefully this time it will come true for me and for you

 

[LeaE]

Good luck love x

 

[Starzz]

Thanks ladies i will check in later after I see how day 2 goes xxx

 

[Starzz]

I'm starting to get a bit worried about tomorrow and figured there are lots of lovely folks on here who have probably had similar experiences and can give advice.

I start back at work tomorrow after a 2 week break, im new to the job and really want people to like me. I work as a nurse on intensive care and work long days so from 8am till 8pm. We get 4 breaks a day 20 minutes in the morning and afternoon and 30 mins for lunch and tea. So when we are at our patient stations we are pretty much stuck there because we have to have a constant eye on our patient. I'm worried for a couple of reasons, firstly I cannot really be drinking lots of water whilst im on the unit because I cant be ducking out to the loo all the time. Secondly the long days can be very draining physically so not sure how its gonna go.
My plan is this:
Before work :shake
Break: Coffee and water
Lunch: tetra and water
Break: Coffee and water
Tea: Soup and water
Home: shake

I'm doing the stage of the plan with 4 shakes and 200mls of milk cause bmi over 40.
I guess what im worried about is throughout the day im not going to be able to consume enough water to keep me going. Does anyone else have a job where this is a problem??

I'm also not looking forward to my colleagues finding out that i'm doing CD for I expect they will not approve. Im new ,they dont't know me etc etc. I promised myself I would take it one day at a time and try not to overthink things as this has been where i went wrong in the past.

Any advice, similar experiences would be appreciated xx

 

[Starzz]

Day 2 nearly over and again it hasnt been to bad. Its definately helping to focus on one day at a time rather than worrying about upcoming events. As stated in my earlier post im worried about work tomorrow but gonna just try and stay focused and remeber why im doing this. The family had a pork dinner which smelled heavenly and red wine ouch but I got through it. Think Im going to have an early night, put a film on an read some of the inspiring diaries on here xxx

 

[Starzz]

Day 3 - Work wasnt as bad as I thought it was gonna be in terms of getting to drink the water. I managed to have a bottle each break time without running to the loo ! just felt really yuky with a sore throat and cold but i cant blame that on the diet!

 

[Mini]

Well done for getting to day 3, you are doing good.

I hope you feel better tomorrow!

 

[Starzz]

Thanks Mini xx

 

[Em_Butterfly]

Hi Starzz

You've made a great start, your initial loss on LL was amazing and there's no doubt you can do it again.

I'm a teacher so literally can't go to the toilet when I'm teaching, I try and drink water about 30 mins before break or lunch as I know I can nip to the loo then. You'll find a way that suits you : )

X

Start: 17.12 Current: 16.2 Target: 10.7

 

[xSinead]

Well done for making the BIG decision to come back & try again..
To me 16stone 6lb or whatever it is you currently weigh, seems not much to me, maybe because the lowest i ever got down to on Cambridge in 2008 was 16st 4lb lol, can't wait to get there again in a couple of weeks
Good luck on your journey x x

 

[Starzz]

Thanks girls, your losses have been brilliant and inspiring, we can all get there together. I think the diary process will really help in the long run and reading others. Im currently wading through LeaE and Spangles both very inspiring.:girlpower:

 

[Starzz]

I thought i would add a couple of photos of myself to the diary to remind myself why I'm doing this.


This was taken on holiday with my Mom 2009. I'd just finished Lighterlife and felt great. I know I can achieve this again. I was about 10.7 here.


This is us again this March. I was between 15.7 and 16. i remember feeling awful, the skirt was only just fitting me, can't believe I let myself get to this point again.
Ive got to do it till the end this time xxx

 

[Starzz]

Apologies for duplication of the second pic!!

 

[Monky]

You are not not alone, I am in a very similar position but the switch has now flicked and it is time for me to take control of my life. When I saw my mum who is in her 50's manage to lose 3 and half stone and look like a whole new person I decided it was time for me to follow suit. Today is day one on Cambridge....

As for the water, I manged to get the water intake in because I walk around with a 500ml bottle and make sure that I have it full to empty at least 5 times a day. I have also invested in a tea mug that is huge and holds about 400ml of tea so I drink 4 of those a day as well..... Good luck,

 

[Starzz]

Thanks Monky and good luck with your journey.

So this is day1 again for me boo hoo!!

I fell off the wagon on Tuesday. I was invited to a Diamond Jubilee party, I had been totally undecided what to do but deep down i knew I was going to eat. My original plan was to start yesterday so that the party would have been ok.
While I was there though I think It has just strengthened my resolve because I felt so big and uncomfortable. i had a lovely tea-dress to wear but because I've put more weight on It just didn't look right so I ended up wearing jeans and a long top. Bah it was awful.
I went to see CDC yesterday and weighed and I've lost 3 so far so all is not lost!!
xxx

 

[Starzz]

Good morning all!!
On day 4 now, just got up and pee'd on a ketostix that my CDC gave me which came up a lovely shade of pink. Im starting to feel a bit exited and positive that i can do this. Its lovely to feel less bloated and weighed down.
Ive just done 2 long days at work which weren't too bad but i made a decision whilst there.
As Im on the step 2 part of the plan I can have a small meal of precise amounts. i work three long days a week so have decided on these days to take a meal for my lunch. For example I was thinking of a green chicken salad with balsamic vinegar or something like that. For the rest of my week I will have my 4 foodpacks. This may go horribly wrong but I thought I would try and dont think that small meal will take me out of ketosis. I figure I can always switch back if it doesn't work out.
Im going to have to be on this plan for at least 6 months and think that this may be a good way to do it if I stay on the 810 the whole way through. Obviously that all depends on how much weight I'm going to loose as it would be nice to loose a stone a month.
Hope that all made sense! xxxxx

 

[Starzz]

Day 5- its the end of my 5th day and im shattered. had a long and busy day at work but the plan went well. I took my chicken salad -had it at lunch got to say it was lovely. It didnt trigger off a massive binge or any hunger so im very optimistic that this could work however im aware that this is only day one of the 'one meal at work plan'.
Going to see CDC tomorrow to get some more packs and get weighed so hopefully will have a good result, keeping everything crossed. I think the early weights are really important to keep us motivated.
Got an invite from a friend today for a girlie night with wine and pizza sometime at the end of the month. I havent told ant friends so far that Im doing this. The reason for that is that they have had to put up with me faffing around at diets for years now so i guess i wanna get down the road abit before I break it to them that Im doing it again!! I'm trying to remember that I've got to take this one day at a time.
trying to take my mind off food by watching the box sets of One Tree Hill- so far,so good!.

xx

 

[MEGS37]

Hi Starzz, just been reading your diary and its really motivational. Im going to see my CDC tomorrow night so will soon be starting my journey. I have over 4 stone to lose. So this site looks a great tool to help us with along our way. Good luck with your weigh in tomorrow. xx