Starzz Cambridge Diary
- Thread starter Starzz
- Start date
Starzz
Full Member
Feeling motivated this evening, hope I can keep up the momentum.
I think one of the only problems with this diet ( and probably any) is that it makes me grumpy sometimes. I was really mean to my brother earlier on, for no good reason and about stuff that really doesn't concern me. He's good natured lol so didn't really take any notice but i felt guilty for ages. I'm really gonna have to keep that in check and remember that it was me that got myself into this pickle so its no point taking it out on those around me!!
I think that VLCD give me more time to ponder on things because I'm not continually obsessing about food.
I'm thinking about adding some exercise into the mix perhaps zumba or something upbeat.
Anyways gotta long day @ work tomorrow
ps...why are all TV ads about food or wine grrr...
I think one of the only problems with this diet ( and probably any) is that it makes me grumpy sometimes. I was really mean to my brother earlier on, for no good reason and about stuff that really doesn't concern me. He's good natured lol so didn't really take any notice but i felt guilty for ages. I'm really gonna have to keep that in check and remember that it was me that got myself into this pickle so its no point taking it out on those around me!!
I think that VLCD give me more time to ponder on things because I'm not continually obsessing about food.
I'm thinking about adding some exercise into the mix perhaps zumba or something upbeat.
Anyways gotta long day @ work tomorrow
ps...why are all TV ads about food or wine grrr...
Skinny Sia
Silver Member
Here to follow Starzz. You've done it before and will do it again! Good luck hunny xx
Starzz
Full Member
Thanks Sia! I really feel different about things this time.I'm not sure If its because I felt so awful on holiday thats its finally given me the motivation to stick to it. I'm very aware its only early days though.
Had a looong tiring day at work. I think because my mind is so taken up with my new job when Im there that Im not thinking of food much. Because its ICU I'm fully focused on that so I guess thats helping. I took a small meal for lunch as per plan, today I had tuna, egg and 80g salad veg. It really filled me up and the beauty is that no-one has noticed what I'm doing which is good because I'm not ready to share yet.
Im knackered off to bed xxx
Had a looong tiring day at work. I think because my mind is so taken up with my new job when Im there that Im not thinking of food much. Because its ICU I'm fully focused on that so I guess thats helping. I took a small meal for lunch as per plan, today I had tuna, egg and 80g salad veg. It really filled me up and the beauty is that no-one has noticed what I'm doing which is good because I'm not ready to share yet.
Im knackered off to bed xxx
Starzz
Full Member
Well learned a lesson today. After a course I was doing finished today went to see a friend on my old ward who had a letter and parcel that had been delivered to my old flat. I had some really bad habits in my old job! After work I used to go to McDonald's and pig out basically, this happened more and more often towards the end, especially after a nite shift. When i was there all the old feelings resurfaced,i saw my old manager who managed to put me down subtly in about 30 seconds flat.It was really really hard not to slip back into that old behaviour as I left almost like it was a psychological learned response. So I battled this hunger and I knew it was false and got through it. I think Im going to have to be mindful about going into situations where I would usually eat or drink something crappy.
When I opened the letter it was from Northen Rock telling me they would refund my PPI I had applied for and would get £1,300!!!! The parcel was a free cook book from weight watchers:happy036:
I couldn't believe it lol I never and i mean NEVER have good luck so am really happy. xxxx
When I opened the letter it was from Northen Rock telling me they would refund my PPI I had applied for and would get £1,300!!!! The parcel was a free cook book from weight watchers:happy036:
I couldn't believe it lol I never and i mean NEVER have good luck so am really happy. xxxx
Starzz
Full Member
Thanks ladies Im really pleased with losses so far. Currently on nites which are going better than I expected. I thought I would be senseless with hunger as this is my usual state of affairs on nites. I think it must be the lovely ketosis in action. I snack terribly on nites normally.
As for reading trashy novels to take my mind of things i have certainly be doing that lol. Since reading 50 shades of Grey my tastes have changed somewhat!!! I have been trying out more of the romance genre. So far Ive read:
Gabriel's Inferno-Sylvain Reynard. 1st of a two parter about a college lecturer who falls for his student.
At the moment Im reading Bared to You- Sylvia Day. This makes 50 shades look like a kids book as its very saucy. Its certainly darker than 50 shades but still as entertaining all the same.
Im really hoping for a 2 pound loss this week to make my first stone, weigh in seems such a long way off. xx
As for reading trashy novels to take my mind of things i have certainly be doing that lol. Since reading 50 shades of Grey my tastes have changed somewhat!!! I have been trying out more of the romance genre. So far Ive read:
Im really hoping for a 2 pound loss this week to make my first stone, weigh in seems such a long way off. xx
Starzz
Full Member
It's going to be a loong nite shift, just eaten my bar ( choc orange) which was lovely but there is a big tin of cupcakes on the desk!! What is it with this new craze for cupcakes?? It's like they are calling me, the more colourful the more they are calling lol!!??
I have a tetra left to go and a soup so will be fine and off course will not have a cake but sometimes I gets me. It also gets me that everyone around me is having a cake and they are all SLIM !
I also have my trashy literature to keep me going on my kindle. That's the beauty of having a kindle, no-one can see saucy nature of my trashy books!!
I have a tetra left to go and a soup so will be fine and off course will not have a cake but sometimes I gets me. It also gets me that everyone around me is having a cake and they are all SLIM !
I also have my trashy literature to keep me going on my kindle. That's the beauty of having a kindle, no-one can see saucy nature of my trashy books!!
Starzz
Full Member
I love my job, was getting ready to haul my sorry ass out of bed for my last nite shift when they rang and offered me annual leave because the unit is quiet. i jumped at the chance. Was really not feeling motivated to go. So im in bed nibbling on my bar with a black coffee wondering what to do with my free evening.
Im starting to think of this diet in the long term. Every aspect of my life has been on an all or nothing basis which has shaped my binge like nature. It has been the same with everything, food, alcohol, smoking. When i first started Lighterlife in '08 i very much adopted that attitude, did very well for 5 straight months and then as soon as I broke it that was it. All my subsequent attempts at this diet have been the same. Ive either been ON it or OFF there has been no in-between so really havent been very succseful.
I think that this time my attitude has changed. Looking back at my dieting history this type of diet has been the only one that has been succesful. I find a day of CD so much easier than a ww day or sw.
So this is how I'm going to get to goal, If I **** up along the way so be it, it will just take a bit longer, I accept that I will maybe not get that momentum back of the first time but that doesnt mean its hopeless.
Im not saying that I think its healthy to be on and off VLCD and I hope that this is the last time, however I think its not the end of the world if it takes me a little longer than a stone a month, as long as I reach the end goal.
I think if I can address the all or nothing aspect of my personality then i have a better chance of keeping it off and living a healthy life because that is when i know its going to get tough, real tough. I dont think ive ever found an eating plan that has suited me that I could fit into everyday life so im going to start looking into that. Everyone seems to like the Dukan plan so i think i might look into that.I'm also gonna have to think long and hard about if there is a place for alcohol in my new life but that is a worry for another day xx
Im starting to think of this diet in the long term. Every aspect of my life has been on an all or nothing basis which has shaped my binge like nature. It has been the same with everything, food, alcohol, smoking. When i first started Lighterlife in '08 i very much adopted that attitude, did very well for 5 straight months and then as soon as I broke it that was it. All my subsequent attempts at this diet have been the same. Ive either been ON it or OFF there has been no in-between so really havent been very succseful.
I think that this time my attitude has changed. Looking back at my dieting history this type of diet has been the only one that has been succesful. I find a day of CD so much easier than a ww day or sw.
So this is how I'm going to get to goal, If I **** up along the way so be it, it will just take a bit longer, I accept that I will maybe not get that momentum back of the first time but that doesnt mean its hopeless.
Im not saying that I think its healthy to be on and off VLCD and I hope that this is the last time, however I think its not the end of the world if it takes me a little longer than a stone a month, as long as I reach the end goal.
I think if I can address the all or nothing aspect of my personality then i have a better chance of keeping it off and living a healthy life because that is when i know its going to get tough, real tough. I dont think ive ever found an eating plan that has suited me that I could fit into everyday life so im going to start looking into that. Everyone seems to like the Dukan plan so i think i might look into that.I'm also gonna have to think long and hard about if there is a place for alcohol in my new life but that is a worry for another day xx
Starzz
Full Member
Grrrr had (having) a blip today. Not my first blip on this journey but still annoying. Why is it when we do this its never..oohh Im really craving a salad im gonna go off and eat one!! Oh no its always something worse. Im not going to go on a long road of self loathing just gonna jump back on the wagon tomorrow and try to think of the long term like I said in yesterdays post. When I posted my entry yesterday however i wasnt planning on having a mini binge so soon was thinking i would be a bit more relaxed with myself around special occasions and such..oh well lol.
i do need to get to grips with these mini binges however because they have undone all the good work in the past Ive done and will again unless I address the issue. Not quite sure yet how Im going to do that but one thing is for sure Im not giving up CD for anything. Got to keep going one day one pound at a time.
xx
i do need to get to grips with these mini binges however because they have undone all the good work in the past Ive done and will again unless I address the issue. Not quite sure yet how Im going to do that but one thing is for sure Im not giving up CD for anything. Got to keep going one day one pound at a time.
xx
WillpowerWoman
Gold Member
Starzz said:
Hi starzz
Am reading through your diary and relate to u so much, I to am an all or nothing girl and vlcds r Thr only diets that work for me. Ivdid LL successfully 5yrs ago nut since have put it all back on and more! I'm finding it harder this time round on CD as last time I lived alone and was smoking, I have since given up smoking and live with bf although very much unmarried and childless as he seems to be dragging his heels somewhat
I am only telling the absolute minimum amount of people, mum, bf and best friend. As I don't want The inevitable judgement. My dad died 14 years ago and my mum and I r very close also. She is The only person who 100% gets this diet because she knows it's right for me.
Best of luck with your CD journey just jeep focusing on y u want to do this and u will be fine
xx
WillpowerWoman
Gold Member
Starzz said:
Yes - we will do this!!!
xx
Starzz
Full Member
Day 1
Had my weigh in yesterday and it wasn't pretty. I was totally honest with CDC telling her that my little blip ended up with me falling off the wagon for a couple of days!! She was dissapointed to say the least! she is lovely though and was very supportive. So we had a long chat about stuff boundaries and crossing lines etc etc. So I have done some experimenting with the plan since I started with step2 and such and I guess it hasn't worked. So we decided that i'd give SS a go, so from now on thats it- 3 packs a day until further notice! No little breaks.
Im really scared by this and i think its because Im used to doing Lighterlife which is 4 packs a day. its silly though because this site is full of success of people who have had 3 packs a day and not withered away lol!!
So its back to basics, just one day at a time, ive done it before i can do it again!
xx
Had my weigh in yesterday and it wasn't pretty. I was totally honest with CDC telling her that my little blip ended up with me falling off the wagon for a couple of days!! She was dissapointed to say the least! she is lovely though and was very supportive. So we had a long chat about stuff boundaries and crossing lines etc etc. So I have done some experimenting with the plan since I started with step2 and such and I guess it hasn't worked. So we decided that i'd give SS a go, so from now on thats it- 3 packs a day until further notice! No little breaks.
Im really scared by this and i think its because Im used to doing Lighterlife which is 4 packs a day. its silly though because this site is full of success of people who have had 3 packs a day and not withered away lol!!
So its back to basics, just one day at a time, ive done it before i can do it again!
xx
