Stomach Cancer

Discussion in 'Slimming World Off Topic' started by ruthiebusybee, 30 March 2011 Social URL.

  1. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Hi All

    My father-in-law was told he had stomach cancer last week (can't operate, given him the impression he has only a few months to live) and that he would be sent for a scan this week and they'd know more then.

    He's only just been contacted now this afternoon, and they've made an appointment for him on Monday at a diagnostic clinic.

    What does that mean?
     
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  3. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    First of all I am so sorry to hear your father in law has been diagnosed with cancer.

    A diagnostic clinic is one where his diagnosis will be studied and possibly treated. It is normally a place that has all the diagnostic equipment i.e. for an MRI scan, PET scans, Radiotherapy etc.

    Sometimes when a dx of inoperable has been given it means that they will try and reduce the tumour in some other way. So the outcome could be happier than you think.

    If someone can go with him to the diagnostic clinic and make notes or remember what is said it will help you all to understand better what is happening. I know when mine was diagnosed I missed so much because I was pretty scared. My DH took it all in for me.

    Make a list of all the questions you want to ask as it is amazing how they disappear from your head once you get in there.

    The things I wanted to know where,

    what stage I was at.
    what treatment I would be having.
    would I be ill with the treatment.
    how long the treatment would last.
    how long they thought I would live.

    If it is any consolation, today's treatments are so advanced and so effective.

    hugs xxx
     
  4. fatal

    fatal Full Member

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    I don't really have much more to add from fillymum's post, this thread caught my eye as I'm a medical student.

    Stay strong, there are so many treatments out there and medicine is always progressing!

    Keep us posted!

    HUGS x
     
  5. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Thanks guys.

    Fillymum that really is so useful, ma-in-law is obviously very concerned, made all the worse for not knowing what to expect.

    Thank you both so much again.
    xx
     
  6. big bear

    big bear A bear on a mission!

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    Nothing to add just want to send my love XX
     
  7. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    Will you keep us posted.?

    hugs xx
     
  8. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Will do, F-i-L has asked specifically if I will take him to the appt (along with M-i-L of course), so I feel better knowing that I will hear the consultant first hand.

    Worried that his other son (who I'm not a great fan of, and vice-versa me thinks) will get the hump about it, but I have already discussed this with OH and I shall just say "This isn't about me, this isn't about you, it's about D, so deal with it!".

    Thanks for all your support, will post about this again next week once been to appt.

    xxx
     
  9. Lucia Lucia

    Lucia Lucia Silver Member

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    thinking of your family x
     
  10. soccermom

    soccermom I AM A WEMITT x

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    So sorry to hear the sad news about your FIL. Wishing you all my best wishes for a speedy recovering.
     
  11. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Thank you :0)

    Having done loads of reading up on stomach cancer, the more I read the more sense (if that's the right word) it's all making. He's been overweight for as long as I've known him, he has an appalling diet high in salt and he has heart and breathing issues, type 2 diabetes etc, and these are all contributing factors to stomach cancer, especially as he had an ulcer too which went undetected until it burst about a month ago.

    It has spurred me and OH on to be much healthier and stick with the healthy eating and lent (given up alcohol, choc and crisps and cheese) as we are both very prone to emotional comfort eating. I feel that the best we can do by him is learn from his mistakes (again not quite the right word).

    It just brings it all home again how important it is to get much healthier.

    I can't tell you how much it has helped me already to be able to ramble on, on here. I feel as though I can't say too much to OH or his family as they need me to be strong for all of them at the moment.

    xx
     
  12. mrs a

    mrs a fat,frumpy,fed up

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    just wanted to send my best wishes to your FIL and all your family.xxx
     
  13. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I found that the hardest part and I was the one with the cancer. I felt I had to support and comfort all those around me.........mind you kept my mind off myself !!!

    Having a site like this is brilliant because everyone is totally impartial.

    There are wonderful support sites out there.............. Stomach Cancer - Macmillan's Online Community

    Thinking of you and your family,

    hugs xxxxx
     
  14. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I hope things go as well as can be expected today Ruth.[​IMG]
     
  15. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    How did you get on yesterday ??


    hugs xxx
     
  16. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Hi

    Monday afternoon's appt went better than expected in many ways. The cancer is there to stay, they can't operate or do chemo because his overall health is too poor to survive it, but they will do radiotherapy, which will hopefully stop the cancer from spreading (if it hasn't already - he has a lot of fluid build up in his abdomen which may be due to his poor heart condition, or if it's tumour fluid means the cancer has probably spread throughout his abdomen) and shrink the tumour too. It's there to stay though.

    The surgeon we saw was very nice (and dare I say cute!!) and answered all our questions very honestly. F-I-L wanted to know how long he had, which is very hard for them to answer, especially as he hasn't had any scans yet, but they said on average/statistically/etc without any treatment he could have 18 months, so with treatment they hope he has longer.

    F-I-L/M-I-L were under the impression he had a few months, so he is understandably quite pleased with this prognosis.

    I think he got a shock when the surgeon said he thought it probable that one of his other conditions (heart, lungs, diabetes, take your pick!) could kill him first.

    So now we wait for the appt with the oncologist and scan, and take it from there.

    Thank you so much to everyone again, especially Filly-Mum - are you fully recovered now?

    xx
     
  17. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I am so pleased you were happier with the dx than you thought you would be.That in itself is a tonic for you all.

    They can do such amazing with rads these days and a bonus is that it is normally non invasive. I have known of it reducing tumour to a fraction of the original size.

    hugs to you all xxx
     
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  19. maclynn

    maclynn Silver Member

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    thinking of you all x
     
  20. ruthiebusybee

    ruthiebusybee Full Member

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    Father in Law has taken a turn for the worse. He’s still in hospital as they can’t sort out the fluid and blood pressure etc. I had a couple of emergency texts from MIL last night as the Drs had rung her in the afternoon with an update.

    Long story short-ish, I left work early to go and pick MIL up and take her to the hospital, the fact that she wanted to get there so quickly un-nerved me, as she's not always as concerned as we would like, but hey ho. We saw the Dr when we were there, and quite perversely the cancer is the least of FIL’s worries. He has so many things wrong with him, poor old boy – heart failure, cancer, kidney failure, water retention, clot on his lung, as well as some other stuff. They now can’t treat any of them, because as soon as they do it makes one of the other conditions worse.

    His kidneys are failing, which is why his blood pressure was dropping way back at the beginning when he first went into hospital this time, before the ulcer burst. Basically, years and years of medication, especially the water tablets, have damaged his kidneys. The intravenous water tablets they were giving him this time to try to disburse the fluid had a reaction with his kidneys and his blood pressure kept dropping again, so they can’t do that. Because his heart is failing and getting worse all the time, the fluid retention is getting worse. His stomach last night was awful, the skin was stretched beyond anything I’ve ever seen before and he was just lying on his side resting it on the bed, it’s much bigger than any weight he has ever carried. He’s gained about 1.5 stones in fluid in little over a week, even though they drained 4kg off him.

    So the Dr was very honest, at FIL's request, and they are now into palliative care, ie making him as comfortable as they can until the inevitable.

    They are doing some blood tests, for which the results will be back today, to see if they can do another drain on him, but again, only in the interest of making him more comfortable. If the tests come back that his blood won’t clot, they’ll give him some vitamin K and try again. If his blood is clotting okay, then they’ll do another drain for him.

    But, he has a clot on his lung that they can’t treat too, so if that moves it could be much sooner than we think even now.

    We asked the Dr bluntly but they won’t give any sort of indication yet. I had a quite word with her afterwards and I asked outright if she thought a month was optimistic and the impression she gave me was that it was. I think we’ll have him for more than just days, but I think we’re talking weeks rather than months.

    Quite what this will mean for everything else that is planned (chief bridesmaid at BF's wedding, visit to my sister overseas) at the moment I have no idea. I shall worry about that when it comes to it.

    xx
     
  21. fillymum

    fillymum synful soul

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    I am so sorry he has got to this stage though it would appear he is in the right place.

    Palliative care nowadays is quite remarkable and the patients comfort always comes first. Little consolation I know when you are looking at the loss of a loved member of your family. You will at least be secure in the knowledge that everything that can be done to make his passing as easy and as pain free as possible is being done. It is such a sad time.

    As for future events, my personal view is that life goes on. I would not want my loved ones to put anything on hold for me especially not being Chief bridesmaid.
     
  22. tara40

    tara40 Loves Norman Reedus

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    Don't know what to say but sending my love and thoughts with you and your family. x
     
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