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Stuck, Desperate, and Had Enough

I am 29 year old male, well 30 next month.
I come from a family who are all on the chunky side, although when I was a teenager I managed to keep my weight down.

As life has gone on, I have struggled with my weight since being about 22, I also suffer from depression, and social anxiety.

I am desperate to lose weight as it is ruining my life, I am miserable, and all I think about 24/7 is my weight, and the more upset I get, the more I eat, I have tried all diets and had most success on Slimfast, losing 3 stones, but one hiccup, and I threw it all back on and 2 more stones besides! I think the strictness of Slimfast helped me, as meals were simple and easy with no recipes and points systems.

I quit smoking for 4 years and recently just started again, but I am really struggling with my chest, I am so out of breath all the time, ten times worse than before I started smoking again a few months back, so now I am in a pickle! I gained 5 stones when I quit smoking 4 years ago, and now I am stuck, fat and smoking! I need to quit but what about the diet? People tell me that a diet and quit smoking the same time is impossible, but I dont know what to do. If I quit I worry I will replace it with more food like I did before, but if I focus purely on the diet, the smoking is still ten times more dangerous than being fat! I've got myself in a right mess and wondered if anyone had advice. I booked myself in the doctors for help to quit smoking again, but the diet..... I dunno!

I want to be happy for the first time in my life and I make it all worse. I want to buy nice clothes I like rather than what fits me and settling. I dont want a six pack, I dont care what my body looks like I just want to be thinner lol.
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Silver Member
S: 15st13lb C: 15st1lb G: 10st7lb BMI: 36.2 Loss: 0st12lb(5.38%)
I feel your pain! Im a smoker... wish I wasnt, want to quit but lets deal with one thing at a time aye!

For me, I went for total food replacement because like you I couldnt deal with counting points or cooking special meals, it also takes food out of the picture completely and gives fast results, it isnt suitable for everyone but it works for me and Ive tried countless diets before, its just about finding the right diet for you.
S: 29st8lb C: 27st2lb G: 15st10lb BMI: 53 Loss: 2st6lb(8.21%)
Hey, I am on the same boat, well sort of as I dont need to quit smoking as i never puffed one.
Anyways, I have a lot of weight to lose too and get depressed thinking about it, but its all part of the process of making us stronger. Dont quit mate, you will get there!

Out of curiosity, how much you weight?
Im 20 stones, I wish to be 15 stone, I know thats still a lot, but I am a big build and at 15 stone I look fine. I dont believe in the BMI thingy as if we all followed that we would all look like anorexic zombies.

Since being fat I can feel the body strain and it knackers me out doing anything physical, now I am smoking again thats even worse now! My weight makes me miserable and ruins my day to day life, but smoking I am worried it will have worse effects, I dunno whats the best of the 2 evils, if one step at a time which step first?? People say weight then smoking but I dunno. I try Slimworld but eat to many Mullerlights Ifeel like I am going to turn into a Mullerlight, and Weightwatchers has nice food, cakes and things but you only allowed one and I ate a box one time and thats no good is it. Slimfast is alright but My belly thinks my throats been cut most of the day. I feel stupid moaning but nobody in reality to talk to as being male I guess people think your menna plod along and be happy, and women are supposed to be the weight conscious. When I do manage to leave my house I think everyone looking at me and I know they arent, if a girl smiles at me (like that even happen) I dont think she likes me I think she is laughing at me cos I am fat, I try hardest to look normal and wear baggy things, I am not like a pregnant women who wear boob tubes, always covering myself, and I even wear jacket in summer so I can cover up, so thats not good is it, cos then in summer I sweat so am fat and smelly, nice one.
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Are you doing a diet? Which ones have you tried before?

I'm on slimming world and it's the best by far because you don't have to count or stop eating. It seems to be the most long lasting.

Also I love aqua aerobics. When it's to embarrassing to huff and puff running up the road, it's an easy way to burn! Plus everyone there is over the age of 60 or trying to lose weight to

S: 29st8lb C: 27st2lb G: 15st10lb BMI: 53 Loss: 2st6lb(8.21%)
Hey Nightwolf, don't say you have no one to talk to, you have us here. :slap:

Its well know the majority of users here is female, but that doesn't mean we don't have any males here to talk to. I know it might be somewhat embarrassing to be talking about weight and such, but its a fact: we are overweight and we need to do something about it, fast!

I am here if you want to talk to and share some experience and thoughts from a male-to-male perspective.

Have you thought about starting a diet?

I started Cambridge again today and its the first step of a long journey, but a rewarding one.

Think of it this way, try to take 6 months of your life to achieve that goal, 6 months only for a whole life ahead that will be a healthy and exciting life.
When you take into account the little time it takes you to change your life around, compared to the benefits in the future, there is absolutely no reason at all to take the big step and start doing instead of just seeing life passing by.

I am 27 stones, I was 29.9 and you can imagine the effects this also has on me, but you know what, I said to myself:
"Roger, you need to get off your arse and stop eating the wrong stuff!"

And now I am rowing the boat against the current, to reach my paradise island. :)

You can do it too, just have a look at the inspirational pictures, you are no less than all of them, and they did!
So will you! :D


Gold Member
C: 11st3lb G: 10st0lb BMI: 25.3
Hi - how are you today? Have you had anymore thoughts on which type of diet?

just cos im biased...
Jim lost a lot of weight and still maintains with atkins. The great thing about it is you never get hungry, and if you want a nibble, you can grab some chicken or meat or some cheese or a big fry up (without the bread).

Its a great diet :D


Silver Member
S: 15st8lb C: 10st7lb G: 10st5lb BMI: 24.5 Loss: 5st1lb(32.57%)
Stick with us lot mate

Hey Nightwolf

We all know exactly what you are going through on here so never ever feel alone. There are some great people on here who can give you tips and advice.

I dont smoke myself but my a friend of mine read that book by Allen Carr and she was a heavy smoke and literally stopped over night. Worth a try. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Do both at once (lose weight and quit smoking) but do it in small baby steps. If you go full throttle into trying to do both you are more likley to stress yourself out and fall off the wagon. Do it gradually (smoke less and less each day and eat healthy) and eventually you will not only loose weight and feel better but then you will find it easier to stop smoking all togeather.

Keep us posted at how you are managing.


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